shocker627 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 So I started dating this girl about a month ago, and although we got off to a slow start, we soon began opening up to each other and became extremely comfortable with one another. Her, being a nursing student, i understood that she had alot on her plate, and school would be overwhelming for her at times. When we were dating I told her that she should always put nursing and school before me or anything else so she could accomplish her goals, (she liked that i said that.) Three weeks into our relationship we started hooking up and things became passionate. We would often express our liking towards one another and how much we liked spending time with each other. At this time we pretty much knew everything about each other. Exactly one month of us dating she calls me and tells me that she isnt ready for a relationship. She said school has been overwhelming her with studies and she feels that being in a relationship is a huge distraction. Me being in my final year in college i understood the pressures college could create, and nursing being an extremely hard study, i understood where she was coming from. She decides to only to remain friends with me for the time being. I was in complete shock when she told me this, because obviously i saw her more than a friend, but as a partner. She kept crying on the phone insisting that i deserved someone better, someone who knows what they want, and someone whos ready for a relationship. I told her that I was willing to support her during school and help her with her studies while we had an ongoing relationship during school, but she only wanted to remain friends, which was heartbreaking to me. She tells me that the friendship move is purely because of school, but for some reason deep down inside of me I feel that she dosent want a relationship with me for other reasons. She claims that she really likes me and that I am the nicest guy she has ever been with. She also says that when the semester is over she may be ready for a relationship with me, but with no guarantee. She tells me that i should not wait for her when schools finished, and that i should pursue other woman. I feel as though if she really liked me she would want me to wait for her. This leaves me confused, and the very reason why i am posting this thread. Is she really preoocupied with school, or is this just a "nice" way to break up with me? Any input? Am i overreacting and being paranoid?
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Launch...next please... If she truly wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have broken up with you. It may be true that nursing school is too overwhelming for her to be in a relationship, but the fact is, she doesn't think you're worth it to hold on to during the tough times. Additionally, her trying to convince you to not wait for her and move on is not a good sign either. She just feels bad about dumping you and wants to ease the pain by offering friendship and getting you to date other women. Don't be her friend. If she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her, then she doesn't deserve you in her life. Besides, It's only been a month. Let go. You're not overreacting or being paranoid. You were dumped. Get over it, move on, and be happy with someone that wants to be with you.
sigurpol Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I feel like I'm the same way, it's a really confusing feeling. To put in perspective, she is telling you she does like you, but can't do it because of school, and you support that. And that, maybe aftewards, something could work out. When I'm told this, I ask myself why I would tell someone that. More often than not, its because I'm not as interested as the other person, so it's an easy way to put things off. Because I feel like if I really did like this person, I would be with them and work it out. I don't know her like you, so she could be genuine with the details. I dont know why she would mention though, "I cant gaurentee anything after school". Isnt that the issue at hand? School? Don't put your life on hold for that. Does she still talk to you? How often? What about? Try to stay cool.
Eisenhower Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 As much as I hate to say it, it does sound like she's just trying to be nice. I went through the same exact thing. "I can't be in a relationship right now" is code for, "I don't want to be in a relationship with you." The "maybe down the road" is also to make you feel good. They don't realize how cruel this is and that it will just leave you hanging on to a string. No one on here can be inside her head and say for sure, but your situation sounds like many others on here (including mine), and I can tell you from personal experience, that hanging on to a string will break your heart for months, a little every day. I agree that you should be dignified about it, and whatever you do DON'T beg or bargain or ask for a second chance or whatever. If you want any chance at all in the future, walk away clean and dignified and let her miss you. I made the mistake of crumbling and I'm sure it hurt, not helped, the situation. Walk away, my friend. Hard as it may be, she's speaking in code and you'll do yourself a favor to accept it and walk away. I'm sorry that's the case, I really know how you feel. Eisenhower
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I feel like I'm the same way, it's a really confusing feeling. To put in perspective, she is telling you she does like you, but can't do it because of school, and you support that. And that, maybe aftewards, something could work out. It's really not that confusing. Actions speak louder and much more accurately than words. She can spout out anything she wants, but if she truly did like you, then she would have never broken up with you.
Author shocker627 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Its wierd because she tells me that she truely likes. This girl is really smart, and I know that she has always put school before anything else. we had that relationship where we could just tell each other the honest truth, and that is why she tells me this. She broke up with me earlier today, so we havent really had any kind of relationship afterwards quite yet. I may have already tried too hard in pusuaying too stay with me. The whole situation sucks because before this relationship and have been single for almost two years, and for this to happen, it hurts that much more. I told her about my rocky childhood and my ****ty past(everything ive been through life). I told her that i would remain friends with her in hopes of getting back with after school. I am assuming that if she dosent want to get back after school, shes dosent want me in her life. I hate that feeling where u think you will never find that right person. I thought it would be her.
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Its wierd because she tells me that she truely likes. This girl is really smart, and I know that she has always put school before anything else. we had that relationship where we could just tell each other the honest truth, and that is why she tells me this. She broke up with me earlier today, so we havent really had any kind of relationship afterwards quite yet. I may have already tried too hard in pusuaying too stay with me. The whole situation sucks because before this relationship and have been single for almost two years, and for this to happen, it hurts that much more. I told her about my rocky childhood and my ****ty past(everything ive been through life). I told her that i would remain friends with her in hopes of getting back with after school. I am assuming that if she dosent want to get back after school, shes dosent want me in her life. I hate that feeling where u think you will never find that right person. I thought it would be her. You will find that right person. Don't you ever worry about that. But please don't remain friends with her in hopes of getting back with her after school. I will slap you... But seriously though, as I said before, she doesn't deserve you in her life as a friend if she doesn't want to be in your life the way you want her... And it was only a month of dating...you can't know that she was that right person in that short of a time...I have a feeling that you only felt that because it was your first relationship in two years...so by that time, anything would have felt like it was the one... Don't get discouraged, it'll happen when you least expect it...
skydiveaddict Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Launch...next please... . I agree with hokie on this one
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