sigurpol Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I'm a naturally worried person, I guess? But I met someone a few months ago, after having a 3 or 4 year dry spell. I've been going through a lot as of late, but after meeting this woman, I felt something I had not felt in quite a long time. She returned the same feelings for me, after we got to know each other some more.. however, it turns out she just got out of a 5 year (emotionally abusive) relationship. We end up dating a month after meeting, only for her to break up with me, but wanting to take things slow. We have a talk, she tells me I'm perfect, and everything she looks for, but doesnt want to get involved with anything so soon. We dont talk for a week, eventually talk again, and things come back to normal. Flirting, going out, spending nights.. but I get worried again. I'm trying to find red flags, but I cant find much (except stupid nit picking, like what she said in a text message). So another 2 weeks go by, and the other day I bring up if things are okay with us, if shes comftorable. She said yea, just she doesnt want to lead me on. And that she has trouble "being herself" around me, and doesnt know why shes nervous about it. But tells me shes never felt this way about anyone, and that she cares about me a lot. I told her Ive had second thoughts, cause Im used to putting up with working things out, and they dont work out. She got upset/crying and said she doesnt know what to do for me. I explained that I like her, and will work things out, but it has to be reasonable. She said she wants to eventually progress towards a relationship, but its not gonna be overnight. She added that I need to stop worrying, she likes me, and isnt going anywhere. Her parents ask about me, and her friends/coworkers want things to work out for us. So whats to worry about? Why cant I relax? We talked on the phone earlier, and it was personal..but good. About our families, the future, kids, etc. But then later when I catch her online, its all one word answers (not like her). But will end it with, "Ill talk to you tomorrow! :-)" I guess its because its been a while since Ive met anyone and felt like this.
D-Lish Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I think it's important not to put any pressure on her right now. She's saying she wants to take things slow, then you keep asking is "things are okay between you"- I'd stop asking this immediately. You talked to her on the phone, then went into an msn convo with her. She was probably feeling overwhelmed- hence the short answers and quick "I'll talk to you tomorrow". You probably have a chance if you pull back and let her set the pace. If you keep pushing, you're going to lose her.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Take it slow. I'm in a situation like that (one day he's talking about future plans, the next he says to take it slow, etc).
Author sigurpol Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 I think it's important not to put any pressure on her right now. She's saying she wants to take things slow, then you keep asking is "things are okay between you"- I'd stop asking this immediately. You talked to her on the phone, then went into an msn convo with her. She was probably feeling overwhelmed- hence the short answers and quick "I'll talk to you tomorrow". You probably have a chance if you pull back and let her set the pace. If you keep pushing, you're going to lose her. Quick resposes, haha. Thank you :-) But yea, I know I have to watch that sorta thing. Ice needs to thicken before you apply any pressure. I try to let her make the moves (talking first), and she usually does that once a day with me. Sometimes I'm afraid if I don't do it first, it shows I dont care, and she might want to move on. Does that make sense? Although, Ive made it clear that I like her, haha. I'm glad to read that you think things seem fine. I just really want this one to work out, ya know?
You'reasian Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Quick resposes, haha. Thank you :-) But yea, I know I have to watch that sorta thing. Ice needs to thicken before you apply any pressure. I try to let her make the moves (talking first), and she usually does that once a day with me. Sometimes I'm afraid if I don't do it first, it shows I dont care, and she might want to move on. Does that make sense? Although, Ive made it clear that I like her, haha. I'm glad to read that you think things seem fine. I just really want this one to work out, ya know? I hope it does work out for you, man.
D-Lish Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Sometimes I'm afraid if I don't do it first, it shows I dont care, and she might want to move on. Does that make sense? Although, Ive made it clear that I like her, haha. It makes sense- but it's the wrong way to go.
Author sigurpol Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 It makes sense- but it's the wrong way to go. Hahah, I understand. But yea, I noticed she became quite upset when I mentioned myself having second thoughts. So I can tell that she still gives a damn. I gotcha though. Take it slow! Haha.
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