Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Here is a nice article on the subject. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1249229/Men-expect-women-decisions-What-wear-eat-buy--live.html Be honest ladies do you really respect a man like this?
Citizen Erased Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 My ex would always leave everything up to me, it was very unattractive. And not because I would stamp my foot and demand everything be done my way, he was just lazy and would rather leave things up to me. Even a simple question like what he wanted for dinner would get me no answer.
carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Well, using that article as guidance as to what 'whipped' means, I'm somewhat surprised to say I wasn't a whipped husband. Perhaps that's why stbx extracted as much out of me as she could and then moved on to more whipped pastures.
sally4sara Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Try getting resources from somewhere other than online tabloids.
carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 OK, what resources pass muster for this discriminating poster? I often read good articles from psychologists on Psychology Today. Or, is the best resource unpublished on the internet, thereby being unlinkable? We're looking for positive input here. We want to become better husbands
sally4sara Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 OK, what resources pass muster for this discriminating poster? I often read good articles from psychologists on Psychology Today. Or, is the best resource unpublished on the internet, thereby being unlinkable? We're looking for positive input here. We want to become better husbands I don't think there is some formula one can learn on the internet for how to be a good husband (or a good wife) because it is relative to who you are married to. What works for one person might not work for everyone. But there are lots of credible resources online. The DailyMail is a cyber trash mag. Psychology Today is a much better resource because it isn't focused on shock-style headlines and manufactured fluff.
Author Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Daily Mail is a trash mag but there is much truth to this article.
sally4sara Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Daily Mail is a trash mag but there is much truth to this article. Only because you want to believe it.
carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 BTW, for balance, I have some close friends who are in 'whipped' M's (by the standards set in the article) and have been quite successfully and I think reasonably happily married for, at minimum, 20 years. Probably the only variable would be the household financial part, where the men trend to the traditional role of making major financial decisions with spousal input, similar to how my parents operated. My dad was pretty whipped too, I guess He didn't seem to mind, nor did my mom. Anyway, perhaps this is an area which is evolving. Change is inevitable, if sometimes painful....
sally4sara Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 BTW, for balance, I have some close friends who are in 'whipped' M's (by the standards set in the article) and have been quite successfully and I think reasonably happily married for, at minimum 20 years. Probably the only variable would be the household financial part, where the men trend to the traditional role of making major financial decisions with spousal input, similar to how my parents operated. My dad was pretty whipped too, I guess He didn't seem to mind, nor did my mom. Anyway, perhaps this is an area which is evolving. Change is inevitable, if sometimes painful.... If the change brings compromise and team work more to the forefront, wouldn't this be for the best all around? It was good that your parents had a working marriage. It would be good if more people had a working marriage. I think it can be had without anyone feeling whipped or forced.
carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yeah, I don't remember it being 'artificial' at all. Very natural. When my dad got cancer, he slowly trained my mom how to handle all the financial stuff and left detailed journals for her and the lawyer. She took over everything before he died and took care of him besides. I still benefit from that today, caring for her. So, for them, that 'arrangement' worked. This example, along with psychological work, helped me better identify compatibilities in that regard, or as TBF calls it, improve my people picker. I found some fascinating perspectives on infidelity on Psych Today, but nothing yet on whipped husbands. I'll try 'subservient' next
BlueeyedJonesy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I love a man who isn't a push over...I think normal things like opening a door and just being a gentleman but keep the pants on.
giotto Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 that's because women have the ability of going on and on and on and on and on about stuff... it's easier to say yes, whatever and move on...
Toodamnpragmatic Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) What a silly article...... How about being laid back, and respecting your spouse's opinion, when it means more? I.e. I may be much more concerned about the car I want, then the couch we own. Also I will wear what my wife wants to see me in, as opposed to caring a whole lot about my dress the majority of time. We always here the joke when a couple goes out and the woman asks her partner how she looks in a dress and he is damned if he does, damned if he don't..... Amazing how no matter what the article, it will tell men how we are screwing up at every turn..... Edited February 8, 2010 by Toodamnpragmatic
crazycatlady Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 You know I can find blogs of all sorts that support different opinions about what's going on. There was nothing but one woman's opinion on her friends. I dated guys who wanted to be whipped. We never stayed together for very long as I had no respect for them. I married a man I could butt heads with and neither of us would get offended by it. And in fact it would be expected. CCL
Jeff1962 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 This made me lol. I'm not a "Me man, you woman, you clean, have sex now" type of guy. I'm still lmao over the article. I will butt heads with you and go toe to toe if need be. I will admit if I am wrong but expect the same back. I don't get guy's that want their women to make all the decisions. I guess they never left their mommy. I've taken it for granted that it was a 50/50 deal. I am a gentleman though. I open doors, I will give my wife my jacket if she is chilly (event if I suggested that she bring one in the first place). I ask her opinions. Her opinions matter to me. I will however not be hen pecked, some women are this way and some guy's fall for it. No thank you!
Mr White Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It's easy to give in to keep the peace, but then things snowball from there. You gotta piss the woman off on a regular basis just so she doesn't get too used to this. I've got no problem with her making all the decisions that I don't care about (i.e. what detergent or washing machine to buy). But when it comes to house, vacation, schools, etc. I'm chiming in big time, and loud.
Jeff1962 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 You gotta piss the woman off on a regular basis just so she doesn't get too used to this. Why did this make me lmfao? Oh Gawd, I am still lol'ing. It's a belly hurt laugh, oh crap.!!!!
Ronni_W Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My ex would always leave everything up to me, it was very unattractive. And not because I would stamp my foot and demand everything be done my way, he was just lazy and would rather leave things up to me. My experience is pretty much along these lines, as well. My LTR partners seem to become complacent and brain-lazy. Or are afraid to express their own preferences, dislikes and upsets. Or something. I don't know cos they don't appear to want to, or can't, figure out what's going on in their own head. Or don't (or can't) have a meaningful conversation about it. Or just can't muster up the bother to try to string some words into a few coherent sentences that would provide info and insights. It's exhausting and depleting. It makes *me* feel "whipped", as in constantly having to use my psychic powers to figure out what may be wanted, needed or best for any given situation...and the eerie sense that the long-term success of the relationship somehow seems to depend on my ability to do that. Of course I get that *I'm* the common denominator -- I'm working on it! Joke from last night's 'Two-and-a-Half Men': Roberta says to Charlie about his fiancee, "Yeah, she is one in a million...and you're dime a dozen." It made me think of all my good friends here at the 'Shack. God love ya
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