Angel1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I have no idea what stirred this up. I'm guessing it's because I sent out one of my usual monthly reports to him, along with several other people in the company, and he tried to start up a personal conversation with me via email after that. I answered him briefly and then he sent the heart on fb the next day. I send out emails at least twice a month that he's copied on, so that wasn't anything new. We hardly ever talk anymore - and we never talk on fb. He sent hearts two different times in the past couple of days, the same heart (strong heart). That's not even romantic. No idea what he's doing, and I didn't ask. Oh! I know! It must mean we're engaged!
Crazyforhim Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 He's definitely trying to fish to see if you're interested in starting the affair back. Ignore him.... you've come too far for him to screw it up again for you!
Author Angel1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Those are my thoughts, too. There's no way on earth I'd start the affair back up again. Blocking him isn't something I care to do. He's the president of the company I work for and I would feel uncomfortable doing that. Not that he would do anything to put my job in jeapordy; I just prefer not to go down that road because it really hasn't been an issue until now. He's pretty good at taking hints so if he gets no response out of me, I'm sure he'll leave me alone. I'm mostly just venting and wanted to know what my LS friends thought. It was pretty much out of the blue. We've been broken up for almost a year now. I guess he doesn't know that I just don't feel that same way about him anymore. He chose to stay in his marriage, and I chose to get past it all.
OWoman Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I have no idea what stirred this up. I'm guessing it's because I sent out one of my usual monthly reports to him, along with several other people in the company, and he tried to start up a personal conversation with me via email after that. I answered him briefly and then he sent the heart on fb the next day. I send out emails at least twice a month that he's copied on, so that wasn't anything new. We hardly ever talk anymore - and we never talk on fb. He sent hearts two different times in the past couple of days, the same heart (strong heart). That's not even romantic. No idea what he's doing, and I didn't ask. Oh! I know! It must mean we're engaged! Uninstall the app.
Confused4Now Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Those are my thoughts, too. There's no way on earth I'd start the affair back up again. Blocking him isn't something I care to do. He's the president of the company I work for and I would feel uncomfortable doing that. Not that he would do anything to put my job in jeapordy; I just prefer not to go down that road because it really hasn't been an issue until now. He's pretty good at taking hints so if he gets no response out of me, I'm sure he'll leave me alone. I'm mostly just venting and wanted to know what my LS friends thought. It was pretty much out of the blue. We've been broken up for almost a year now. I guess he doesn't know that I just don't feel that same way about him anymore. He chose to stay in his marriage, and I chose to get past it all.You don't need to block him....just maintain your boundaries you'll be fine.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Uninstall the app. A lot of my friends of fb send hearts to me, so I don't want to uninstall it. It's not really an issue, just odd behavior for him. I wasn't even aware that he was on fb that much. He never, ever posts anything. Occasionally, one of his kids will flag him in a pic, but I think the last time he posted something was about 4 mos ago.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 You don't need to block him....just maintain your boundaries you'll be fine. That's pretty much the way I see it. It doesn't change anything - he's still married. It just really surprised me.
Samantha0905 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I have no idea what stirred this up. I'm guessing it's because I sent out one of my usual monthly reports to him, along with several other people in the company, and he tried to start up a personal conversation with me via email after that. I answered him briefly and then he sent the heart on fb the next day. I send out emails at least twice a month that he's copied on, so that wasn't anything new. We hardly ever talk anymore - and we never talk on fb. He sent hearts two different times in the past couple of days, the same heart (strong heart). That's not even romantic. No idea what he's doing, and I didn't ask. Oh! I know! It must mean we're engaged! I'm not friends with my XAP on FB anymore. If it's over, it's over.
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Delete him off your facebook. It's still a form of contact, even if you two are in NC mode. Each of you get to 'see' what you're up to, see pictures, comments etc..
Confused4Now Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I'm not friends with my XAP on FB anymore. If it's over, it's over. Yeah I've been there....I first removed her as a friend...and then it turns out we had mutual friends. Which still kinda allowed me to read her posts to friends. So then I just deactivated my FB account then I have no temptations of cyber stalking..... I got good at removing all the triggers that sent me spiraling down. It does work.....
pureinheart Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I have no idea what stirred this up. I'm guessing it's because I sent out one of my usual monthly reports to him, along with several other people in the company, and he tried to start up a personal conversation with me via email after that. I answered him briefly and then he sent the heart on fb the next day. I send out emails at least twice a month that he's copied on, so that wasn't anything new. We hardly ever talk anymore - and we never talk on fb. He sent hearts two different times in the past couple of days, the same heart (strong heart). That's not even romantic. No idea what he's doing, and I didn't ask. Oh! I know! It must mean we're engaged! Wow, that is a hard thing to deal with, sounds like the "pining" is coming from the other end.... One of my friends dated the site director (in my co site director runs the entire place) when he was a manager....they went their separate ways, she M someone else and so did he....but we all knew he was stone cold in love with my friend..lol Yep (bold)
Hazyhead Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 If it bothers you, Angel, and makes you think of him in a way that stirs up old feelings then maybe it would be for the best if you minimize the access he has to your FB account, and the extent to which he can contact you via it. I understand that you are not really able to delete him if he is your boss, but the argument for minimizing him is that you want to keep it purely professional. Surely, nobody can argue with that. Just keep rebuffing!
Author Angel1111 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 If it bothers you, Angel, and makes you think of him in a way that stirs up old feelings then maybe it would be for the best if you minimize the access he has to your FB account, and the extent to which he can contact you via it. I understand that you are not really able to delete him if he is your boss, but the argument for minimizing him is that you want to keep it purely professional. Surely, nobody can argue with that. Just keep rebuffing! Hmmm, good point. I'll look into that. It doesn't bother me so much as it surprised me. He's never done anything like that before. He's pretty quiet on facebook, to the point that I almost forget he's there. I think he got the point when I didn't say anything about the hearts he sent. But I'll still check into the thing you mentioned. Either that or I just won't accept them in the future. Thanks.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Wow, that is a hard thing to deal with, sounds like the "pining" is coming from the other end.... One of my friends dated the site director (in my co site director runs the entire place) when he was a manager....they went their separate ways, she M someone else and so did he....but we all knew he was stone cold in love with my friend..lol There was a time when we were both stone cold in love with one another. I guess I could feel that way again if things changed. But that would require divorce papers in his hand. I don't really dwell on it anymore. I've moved on. I'm so done with the MM stuff, I can't even tell you.
Confused4Now Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 There was a time when we were both stone cold in love with one another. I guess I could feel that way again if things changed. But that would require divorce papers in his hand. I don't really dwell on it anymore. I've moved on. I'm so done with the MM stuff, I can't even tell you.AMEN to that Angel....
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 If he truly IS your exMM and the A is over, why do you still have him on facebook? What's the point in giving him limited access to your fb page? Why not just DELETE and block him..? Why keep him on your friends list?
ladydesigner Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 If he truly IS your exMM and the A is over, why do you still have him on facebook? What's the point in giving him limited access to your fb page? Why not just DELETE and block him..? Why keep him on your friends list? Sorry if this is a T/J but in question to what is said above I guess the same should go for LinkedIn. My XOM wanted to connect with me as a past colleague and I added him like an idiot, but that was the last contact attempt by him since I enforced NC. LinkedIn is for business networking. Should I remove him from my list of connections, just curious?
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Yes. It's still a form of 'contact' even though it's online and no words are spoken to eachother. He can check up on you, read what's said, just like you can with him. Professional or not, delete him. Plus, it'll make you feel better.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 If he truly IS your exMM and the A is over, why do you still have him on facebook? What's the point in giving him limited access to your fb page? Why not just DELETE and block him..? Why keep him on your friends list? Well, since it doesn't affect me emotionally and it doesn't tug at me, it's kind of amusing that he's doing this. It entertains me to analyze his behavior. That's just me. Also, as I stated before, he's the owner of the company I work for and, as much as everyone likes to say that it doesn't matter, it does. He's not vindictive but I don't want to go down that road. I have a certain amount of influence over him - as a friend and former lover - and I'm not interested in screwing that up. If he wants to think he still has a chance with me, then that's his fantasy, not mine. Strong Heart. ha. How in the world was I supposed to interpret that? Pretty funny when you think about it because it was still non-committal. And I just sit back and feel sorry for his wife, because he's just starting to look like a bored married guy to me.
Confused4Now Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Well, since it doesn't affect me emotionally and it doesn't tug at me, it's kind of amusing that he's doing this. It entertains me to analyze his behavior. That's just me. Also, as I stated before, he's the owner of the company I work for and, as much as everyone likes to say that it doesn't matter, it does. He's not vindictive but I don't want to go down that road. I have a certain amount of influence over him - as a friend and former lover - and I'm not interested in screwing that up. If he wants to think he still has a chance with me, then that's his fantasy, not mine. Strong Heart. ha. How in the world was I supposed to interpret that? Pretty funny when you think about it because it was still non-committal. And I just sit back and feel sorry for his wife, because he's just starting to look like a bored married guy to me.Wow you couldn't have said it better than that. That was my exact feeling I had towards my MW...being it's clear that's how she's appearing to me too.
ladydesigner Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Yes. It's still a form of 'contact' even though it's online and no words are spoken to eachother. He can check up on you, read what's said, just like you can with him. Professional or not, delete him. Plus, it'll make you feel better. I just deleted my XOM from LinkedIn...OOOOhhhhh it felt sooo good. Well, since it doesn't affect me emotionally and it doesn't tug at me, it's kind of amusing that he's doing this. It entertains me to analyze his behavior. That's just me. Also, as I stated before, he's the owner of the company I work for and, as much as everyone likes to say that it doesn't matter, it does. He's not vindictive but I don't want to go down that road. I have a certain amount of influence over him - as a friend and former lover - and I'm not interested in screwing that up. If he wants to think he still has a chance with me, then that's his fantasy, not mine. Strong Heart. ha. How in the world was I supposed to interpret that? Pretty funny when you think about it because it was still non-committal. And I just sit back and feel sorry for his wife, because he's just starting to look like a bored married guy to me. Angel111 if it doesn't affect you emotionally... delete him. The fact that you are trying to interpret this is still a form of contact. I personally do not want or need any kind of contact from my XOM, it would just set me back on my road to healing.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Angel111 if it doesn't affect you emotionally... delete him. The fact that you are trying to interpret this is still a form of contact. I personally do not want or need any kind of contact from my XOM, it would just set me back on my road to healing. I guess I'm indifferent to it, for the most part. I've already explained why I won't delete him. I would do that if he were persistent. Maybe if I left the company....I'm not sure. It's not really important to me. I just think it's fun to analyze what he was doing, plus it's an interesting lesson for me about human behavior. His daughter tagged him in a couple of photos like they're this happy family and all I can think is 'if they only knew'. Nothing from him since then. I think he got the message that I wasn't overly impressed.
ladydesigner Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I guess I'm indifferent to it, for the most part. I've already explained why I won't delete him. I would do that if he were persistent. Maybe if I left the company....I'm not sure. It's not really important to me. I just think it's fun to analyze what he was doing, plus it's an interesting lesson for me about human behavior. His daughter tagged him in a couple of photos like they're this happy family and all I can think is 'if they only knew'. Nothing from him since then. I think he got the message that I wasn't overly impressed. Right I'm sorry I just read you still work for the same company. I understand that. It's great that you are indifferent to it all now. Good for you. Right about the bolded part. Very sad. Glad to hear you are doing well.
Author Angel1111 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Right I'm sorry I just read you still work for the same company. I understand that. It's great that you are indifferent to it all now. Good for you. Right about the bolded part. Very sad. Glad to hear you are doing well. And good for you for deleting your ex from LinkedIn. I'm sure that made you feel better. Sometimes those little things can nag at us. As Confused4now said, just get rid of the triggers. Yes, the work thing makes a difference in terms of how far I want to go with eliminating him from my life. Several months ago, I went into stealth mode on fb so that no one can see when I'm online. That has helped, too.
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