so_mo34 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 i've been seeing this guy i work with for about 5 months now of just sex. i know he is using me, but i keep letting him use me because i fell for him and i don't have the strength to stop it. even though i just feel worse each time and i always hope he will want to hook up again. i get all excited when i get a text/call from him and depressed when i don't. im tired of feeling happy when im with him, but as soon as i leave his place i feel extremely depressed and cry my eyes out. the thought of him seeing other girls makes me sick. i know this is pathetic. i really want to get over him. he treats me like dirt too. but i just love his company. i just don't know how or what to say to him. i also work with him so i see him 3 days a week or so. is it even possible to get over him? i'm tired of feeling like this. has anyone else been in a situation like this before?
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 You need to treat him the way an alcoholic treats alcohol. Completely cut him out of your life. At least you can acknowledge that he's using you and that no good will come of this relationship. That's the hard part. The first step to recovering from an addiction is admitting you have one.
Author so_mo34 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 yeah i know time will eventually heal it as i was in a situation like this before, but this time it's way harder. how do i get over him if i have to see him at work?
Cora Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yes I've been in your situation. I fell for a guy really hard who just wanted me for sex. I kept seeing him despite knowing what he wanted me for because I did not have the strength and the willpower to let him go. I wanted so badly for him to fall in love with me and to have all that romantic mushy stuff, but I knew that would NEVER happen with this guy. He even flat out told me one day that he wasn't ready for any type of relationship. It was sooo difficult for me, but I knew I wasn't doing myself any good by still seeing/communicating with him. I also did not like the way I felt after having sex with him and knowing I meant nothing to him. I was just a good f**k to him and nothing more. This went on for months. As hard as it was I knew I had to let him go or I'd never respect myself enough to find a decent guy who COULD fall in love with me. So far it's been almost five months since I've seen him and I no longer communicate with him....don't respond to his texts etc. I just had to let him go. I still have my moments, but I feel so much better! Believe me, after awhile you will forget all about him and find someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. I know it seems almost impossible now.....because oh my goodness I felt the same way and cried many tears!! But you are so much stronger than you think! Believe in that and just go with it! You will be fine. I wish you all the best!
Cora Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I do feel for you though since you work with him. That is tough!! All I can say is try to avoid him as much as possible as impossible as that may seem.
Author so_mo34 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 hey thanks i feel a little bit better now. i just don't want things to be awkward at work..but i plan on moving away at the end of the summer so i guess it doesn't matter too much. it's just going to be really hard to cut him off..as i will miss him like crazy even though he made me feel miserable in the end. im also worried that he is going to find someone else and forget about me.
Satisfaction Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 you should stop using him to fill the gap in your life where a boyfriend should be. Just let yourself get used to having no one there andfind your friends and start re-engaging with them. It will definitely hurt like your soul is dying but so much better than the rollercoaster of emotion you are feeling. kiss told you about treating him like he was an alcohol addiction. Its a good point. And ps masturbation is fun.Try it. I'm sure that guy you've been shagging is a selfish at best mediocre lover. Who were you seeing before him? Surely you can do better than him?
Barky Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I think every man would like a woman such as the OP in his life. I wish I could do that to women
Author so_mo34 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) yeah it's just going to be hard because i work with him often. should i just ignore him or should i say "i can't see you anymore?". Edited February 8, 2010 by so_mo34 mistake
terra Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Maybe just say that you are starting to develop feelings for him and as he isn't ready for a relationship it's best that you don't see each other anymore - no phone calls or texts. Maybe this way he will understand and won't bother you with calls and texts to find out why you have changed your mind or are acting differently.
stillafool Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It's always a bad idea to enter a FWB relationship when you know you are in love with that person and only entertaining that type of relationship in hopes of capturing that persons heart. It never works. If you love a man you have to capture his emotions and then have sex with him. You would do well to leave him alone now.
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