EM47 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Say there were 5 or 6 girls I have seen a couple times...no sex yet...then I find one I want to be exclusive with. What is the best thing to say to the other 5 as to not burn any bridges for later if at all possible? It just seems like saying basically "I found someone else who I like more than you, sorry" seems harsh even though that is the exact truth. These other girls could be girls I would be interested in sometime in the future if something doesn't work out with the current girl. So what would be the best thing to say in this case to them? And the best way to phrase it...
stillafool Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Don't say anything unless they contact you. When they do just tell them you are involved with someone and want to see how it works out. Trust me, they will respect you for the truth and will remember you were "straight up" down the road if you should ever want to date one of them again.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 These other girls could be girls I would be interested in sometime in the future if something doesn't work out with the current girl. This is called "keeping someone on the back burner," and is generally frowned upon if you're in an exclusive relationship. If you feel the need to keep the other girls around "just in case," you're probably not ready for exclusivity in the first place... I've gone through the same thing...when I decided to go exclusive with my current bf I had also been seeing another guy who I really liked...the connection just wasn't there. It sucks to tell someone you like and respect that you've decided to build a relationship with someone else. But they will appreciate it in the long run, a lot more than you leading them on or keeping them for "backup."
Author EM47 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Yeah, that kind of sounded bad, I did not really mean it that way...it's just the thing is that I would still be seeing these girls if I wasn't exclusive with one...so there is interest there but I don't want to keep them on backburner status...I guess I would like to not burn bridges. I can see how it sounds bad from my 1st post but that was not my purpose.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yeah, that kind of sounded bad, I did not really mean it that way...it's just the thing is that I would still be seeing these girls if I wasn't exclusive with one...so there is interest there but I don't want to keep them on backburner status...I guess I would like to not burn bridges. I can see how it sounds bad from my 1st post but that was not my purpose. I understand completely. Just tell them respectfully exactly what's going on. While they may be hurt, bridges will not be burned, and if anything they'll see that you're not a creep who deceives and gets serious with multiple girls...they will see that you are honest and concerned about their feelings. Which will leave a good impression should future opportunities arise.
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