How do I confront the issues caused by my Ex after running away for so long?

[bubcake]

It's been 12 months and i still cant get over her.

Typical case. I date my college sweetheart (each other's firsts) for 3 years and she dumped me for an old friend of hers a few months after graduation.

For over 12 months, i have tried to ignore the issue. I pretended it never happened. But deep down inside, i always felt the dull pain, hoping it would go away on its own. But I would go back to stage 1 of the heart break after every mention of her , or every time I would go back to the downtown area i would bump into many of her (and my old) friends.

 

I felt like i couldn't walk around in my city anymore. I feel humiliated and feel like i can't show my face there or around our school/college. So I decided to leave to another country to study abroad. I deleted everyone i used to know and wanted to start fresh 100%. I thought running away like this would give me a fresh start. But instead i feel even worse. Alone. As if I've been banished from what my life used to be.

 

I recently spoke to a psychiatrist friend of mine , and he told me that I had to "confront the issue head on". It would be the only way to get over her for good. But I have no idea how to "confront" this. I don't want to see her because i know that I can never forgive her for what she did (a lot more than dump me believe me)....I also feel humiliated by the break up....and obviously dont want to see "them" together.

 

Any advice from anyone who has been here before?

Edited February 8, 2010 by bubcake

[sean1]

hi bubcake

 

i really feel for you here.

 

il give you the best opinion i can.

 

i feel you just need to cry my friend. just litterally let ureself go. crying is good it helps cleanse yourself. dont fight it and dont hide it. i sat down with sad songs a box of tissues and some photos. you have to letall your emotion go.

 

i always say never supress your feelings. if theres sumet to say then say it. if theres sumfin to do then do it. u never no wt can cum of it! theres nobetter way to confront them tbh. if you go talk to ure ex ul be at the lowest of low. you can do this yourself.

 

before you met her..before you even new she existed did you feel like this?

 

so why feel like it now? just tell ureself to move on...big yourself up! hit the gym get out with m8s! it is very hard but you need to recover! there is abeautiful women out there waiting to meet a guy like you.

 

your decnt and you care for your woman. u would do anything for her. why would you want to waste all that on somebody who finished you? make yourself into a better man! go shopping buy new things! at the end of the day its her loss!!!

 

hope it helps!

[gavinus]

Its hard my friend. Same story for me kinda. went out 3 years, she treated me bad, dumped me, then said wanted friendship on her terms of once a fortnight....it was always on her terms. I said I deserved to be treated well and only wanted people in my life who love and respect me. We have not spoken since, because I am not running after her anymore, that was 3 months ago. Single now 12 months. All I know is that do what is best for you, respect yourself and never let anybody treat you in a bad way again. How do you know when you have the best......because you have to experience the worst beforehand!! Its not easy, stay strong, semper fi!!, you can do it!!