jqb05443 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 So here is my story. I have been with my bf for 3.5 years. We broke up for 4 months over the summer (he broke up with me) last year and although things have been alot better between us since we got back together I find myself in a dilemma. At work I started talking to a VP one day when I went in to see if he could approve something. I had been working there for over 2 years and I never really had to deal with him so we always just said hello to each other in passing in the hallways. Ever since that day we talk constantly. It's been over 2 months now. We email at work all day long, he has asked me to lunch alone a few times and sometimes drops hints like he likes me but he does it in a way that it can be interpretated as either just being friendly or he likes me as more than friends. I am really dumb when it comes to telling whether someone likes me or not. He has said that I am smart, extremely attractive and funny. He makes comments that he is jealous when I tell him I think someone is cute. He actually asked me to go out to dinner which I said I would go with him. I am going to be away from work for a week and I said i couldnt wait and it would be awesome for me to get away and he said it would be horrible for him since he wouldn't see me for over a week. Again that could be taken in many ways. Well here is my dilemma. I find myself thinking about him constantly. When I don't here from him I get sad. When I see him I get happy. When I am with my bf this VP is always on my mind. I imagine what it would be like to be with him all the time. I just can't imagine what he would want with someone like me. He is 16 years older than I am and I think he is either divorced or widowed. I feel like I am falling in love with him or it could just be infatuation. I have always said I would NEVER cheat on my SO but this guy has really done a number on me mentally. We haven't kissed or done anything physical but I feel that if he does try I would def do it. Thoughts on this? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Devil Inside Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Wow...you guys might want to write this date down..I think I mostly agree with scorpmale on this one. If you really are sure you are into this guy then I would recommend you do the following in this order. 1. Break it off with your BF. 2. Explore your connection with this VP. Let me ask you...it seems that a part of why you have not already done this is because you are not sure if this VP really like you...is that correct? Seems you would not want to lose your BF unless you knew this other was interested. If so, maybe you could direct and just ask if he likes you. If he does...then tell him you are interested too, but you need to break up first...and don't do anything with the new guy until you do. Good luck.
hendersongirl Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 It might just be the thrill of the chase (or the enjoying being chased) that you are experiencing. Think long and hard about this before you do ANYTHING. Ask the guy how he feels if you like, but be aware that if he says he likes you, it will get all the more exciting for you and will cloud your thinking even more. Yes - you might really like him and end up deciding to dump your bf and see how things go with the VP, but equally (IMO, more) likely is that you are just high on the excitement of it all. I have been in almost this exact same situation, and I can not stress enough to just try and keep some perspective, and don't do anything rash. I can tell you more about my situation and how it worked out if you like.
carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 He's a good talker and probably not as divorced or widowed as perceived They should make him VP of sales.... Oh, right...the OP... yes, you're having an EA.
fooled once Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Either you want to be with your boyfriend or you don't. Life will have a lot of challenges and obstacles. Obviously, the feelings for your boyfriend aren't that strong or else you wouldn't be seeking outside attention.
fooled once Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Wow...you guys might want to write this date down..I think I mostly agree with scorpmale on this one. If you really are sure you are into this guy then I would recommend you do the following in this order. 1. Break it off with your BF. 2. Explore your connection with this VP. Let me ask you...it seems that a part of why you have not already done this is because you are not sure if this VP really like you...is that correct? Seems you would not want to lose your BF unless you knew this other was interested. If so, maybe you could direct and just ask if he likes you. If he does...then tell him you are interested too, but you need to break up first...and don't do anything with the new guy until you do. Good luck. Um....she has no idea this VP's marital status....I don't think encouraging her to explore this 'connection' is the right thing considering she has no idea if he is married/divorced/separated/widowed!
jnj express Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 A few things to consider if you switch over to the VP. Age could be a problem down the line. What actually is the VP's status. Get some history on the VP, by making some discreet inquiries, you could be just a little flirtation on his long road thru life. Find out somehow, what is romantic history has been. Are you just infatuated, and if this wears off, and you grow weary of the VP, or find you arn't really compatible in reality, what then, you might have just messed up a nice relationship with someone you could of had a future with, your BF. If you decide you really want to be with the VP. DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR BF. Drop him.
SleepingDog Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Either dump your BF or stop seeing this VP. Find out whether he's married. Don't cheat on your BF, just read this site a bit to realise what misery you will cause everybody involved
on1wheel Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 He 100% likes you romantically...as do you him it seems. As a man I can assure you that all the effort that you described is doen by a man hoping for an intimate relationship...I assure you. You should break up with ur bf and try or forget about the vp and try harder with ur bf. DO NOT CHEAT...the trauma it cause is irrepairable; I know from experience. I wish U well either way.
Dexter Morgan Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 We haven't kissed or done anything physical but I feel that if he does try I would def do it. Thoughts on this? yes, break up with your boyfriend so he can find someone else
LakesideDream Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Easy to say Dex... seriously though, how many women do you know that leave before being assured of having a soft place to land? While not a attractive trait, it is an almost universal one. Which... makes it reasonable for a man to consider rapid withdrawl when the magic phrase "I need space" surfaces.
dreamingoftigers Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I am married but sometimes I have noticed other people. What I do when I find myself in these situations is I decide to think about what is missing in my own relationship that is allowing me to be attracted to someone else.
Devil Inside Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Um....she has no idea this VP's marital status....I don't think encouraging her to explore this 'connection' is the right thing considering she has no idea if he is married/divorced/separated/widowed! I thought she said he was either divorced or widowed. Right?
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