j444 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I am trying to figure this out. My girlfriend says “ I need space” So I gave it to her for about 10 days. She has been texting me a lot, calling leaving random messages about nothing important. She sent me a text the other night at 11:45pm wanting to talk. So I responded and we talked for about 20 minutes. The next day she did something she has never done before. She brought her own laptop to work, so she chat with me at work. She sent me a text to let me know this. I told her I was busy, and was not able to chat. Later that day she was texting me asking me what I was up to, where I was going, Wanted me to tell my friends hi for her. After that she called me. I never picked up, and she left me a random irrelevant voicemail, and made sure to tell me at the end of the VM that she hopes I have a great time out with friends. Yesterday she sent me almost 30 text messages. She was asking all kinds of questions, but only getting a few answers. I asked her the other day why she has wanted to talk at midnight, and has been texting me so much. Finally she told me she wants to keep in touch with me, and that we are friends. So I said thank you for finally telling me we broke up. She said no I need space. I said if we can only be friends that means we are broken up. She did not like hearing this, and I have asked her to quit giving me mixed signals, and I told her I don’t have an interest in friendship, it is too hard for me. She told me to let her come to me. I told her OK, That’s fine I am not holding my breath, and I will be out having fun. She has still been texting, and calling me a lot after this Can sometime tell what these signals mean, why she says we did not break up, but won't spend time with me, and wants to know my every move?
St. Nick Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 INSECURE FEMALE ALERT INSECURE FEMALE ALERT INSECURE FEMALE ALERT She's texting you, saying she wants to be friends, constantly texting you, giving you mixed signals, saying she's still your gf but wants space, texting and calling at random times of the night, etc. That can only mean one thing: she's insecure and it's time to cut the cord that links you. Dump her, change your number if possible, move on with your life. Just make sure she doesn't become an obsessed stalker. This behavior she's exhibiting is not healthy and you shouldn't have to deal with it. 1
engravefeelthevoid Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 omg the same thing is almost happening with me she said she wanted space and time to do I dunno what...at first i felt she was playing me so I broke up with her we ddnt even date :S then a friend talked to me and told me we should talk like adults and I shud give her time and whatever....so I did.....I dunno what she did....her fb status was sth about her not willing to change who she is for someone else....i kinda felt it was about me....shed post pix saying "Hi I'm single" but i just said --->Swallow it I called her up and asked her if shed like to go out on a date on valentine's she said yes....tells her friends she likes me...tells me she likes me....Women Like to confuse us brotha :S but I think shes just scared....play a little hard to get and make her chase u brotha...good luck !
Author j444 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 I know that might be the best to do. My only problems is I love her, we have been together for 2 years. We always had a good relationship. We did have a big argument about 2 month before that. She acted OK after that, and we did come to an agreement and settle the argument the next day. She did not directly say it was due to the arguing after I asked her. I think it is due to this, and also the fact that she knows I am not happy about her being 30 and still living at home. I want to act like I am moving on even though I am hurting. But I also want to talk to her, and tell her how I feel.
Lizzie60 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I say... CONTROLLING FEMALE ALERT CONTROLLING FEMALE ALERT CONTROLLING FEMALE ALERT It's more about control and manipulation IMO... she knows she can almost do anything with you.. and you will just be there when SHE wants you to.. You need to grow a backbone and go NC.. stop being a puppet.. she is using you.. putting you on the backburner maybe while she's checking someone else.. 1
meerkat stew Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 (edited) I say CHEATING FEMALE ALERT! CHEATING FEMALE ALERT! Not really , but over half the time "I need space" from a woman means that there is another dating/relationship/sexual option she is considering. People almost never ask for space unless either a) another option is presenting, b) their partner is very clingy, c) something about their partner is turning them off in a big way physically, sexually, personality, or mentally (opposing views on certain issues, religion, politics, etc.), or d) an extreme or traumatic life change or event (dread disease diagnosis, etc.) So, one way of analyzing things would be to rule out obviously incorrect options and pick the most likely from there, assuming you have already had discussions on the issue (hey it's a standardized test question!). In most cases, it's a) all the way, or greener grass syndrome. Incidentally, what are -her- reasons for asking for space? You should try reasoning with her also that her dictating 100% of the terms under which the relationship takes place is unacceptable to you, just as it would be unacceptable to her were the shoe on the other foot. Edited February 7, 2010 by meerkat stew
You'reasian Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 She told me to let her come to me. I told her OK, That’s fine I am not holding my breath, and I will be out having fun. She has still been texting, and calling me a lot after this Can sometime tell what these signals mean, why she says we did not break up, but won't spend time with me, and wants to know my every move? She's interested in you. Do as she says. Let her come to you. Good luck!
Author j444 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 I know she is interested! It is hard hanging in there, and waiting for the unknown! But then also getting mixed signals.
boogieboy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I know she is interested! It is hard hanging in there, and waiting for the unknown! But then also getting mixed signals. They are not mixed signals. She is checking out other guys, but she wants to know everything youre doing so she knows that youre not having fun while she is. She wants to make sure youre there waiting for her, and that she can manipulate you. Dont let her do this. Do not answer her calls, dont reply to texts, DO NOT let her in on anything youre doing. She either has 100% of you, or 0%. Dont give her 50%. When you do this, she HAS to miss you so bad that she has no choice but to make a concrete decision. Anytime she asks you how youre doing, if you HAVE to answer her, tell her "im busy with this and that". If she asks what that is, shes not priveliged to that information. You have to have a backbone with this. You have to force her to miss you. Try not to answer the phone.
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