xtreme Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Its been about 3 weeks of NC with my ex, I'm accepting the fact that she will not come back but it hasn't stopped me from learning from my mistakes. Over the past weeks I have started going out, Acing my exams, working out. But I'm at a point of breaking NC because I'm starting to feel, I rather keep her as a friend and not hate her. We started as friends in the beginning and that relationship was fine, but I rather we talk as friends then not. That is how I am starting to feel. Any ideas?
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 so sorry about your loss, its good that you have looked after yourself. really it is. but you cannot break n.c. if you do all your efforts would be in vein. i brok n.c and agreed 2 be frends. its been 3 weeks of depression. its hard to have her as a frend. if you saw your partner kissing someone else how would you feel? you should want nothing to do with them at all. its easier for you to move on that way. it will be hard but stay strong and keep posting on here. you will feel so much better!
USMCHokie Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I think 3 weeks is a little too soon to be heading to the friend zone...I am positive you still have feelings for this girl, and until those feelings are completely gone, it is a bad idea to be friends with her... I have a feeling that you're still in that phase where you're hoping that by sticking around as her friend, she'll change her mind and want you back...I know this because I was there... Just continue what you're doing to improve yourself and do well in school. Remain in NC and stay strong...it'll get better...
Author xtreme Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 True it seems like its too soon. I just feel Id rather have her in my life than not having her. Even though she called it quits, shes a wonderful girl. That's why I'm starting to feel a "new phase". We have been together for 3 years. Broken up and NC for about 3 weeks, I guess I just have to keep NC and when I'm completely over her, I can talk to her. But now, it's more of that I wouldn't be talking about our past but just as freinds just to keep her in my life as a friend but I'm not sure.
USMCHokie Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 True it seems like its too soon. I just feel Id rather have her in my life than not having her. Even though she called it quits, shes a wonderful girl. That's why I'm starting to feel a "new phase". We have been together for 3 years. Broken up and NC for about 3 weeks, I guess I just have to keep NC and when I'm completely over her, I can talk to her. But now, it's more of that I wouldn't be talking about our past but just as freinds just to keep her in my life as a friend but I'm not sure. You can tell yourself this...but it's MUCH easier said than done... If you're not sure, then don't do it. You'll thank yourself months from now...
Author xtreme Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 How would you feel if your ex told you that she doesn't know what to say therefore she hasn't contacted you?
USMCHokie Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 How would you feel if your ex told you that she doesn't know what to say therefore she hasn't contacted you? Ummm...how would she tell me this if she hasn't contacted me...?
Author xtreme Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 If one of your friends told you that
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 take it from me. if you brake it you wil regret it. you will open a door in your head and heart that says maybe. there is no maybe! if you allow yourself false hope like i did. it is so much harder!!!! just stick with the way your going!! fight the urges!
USMCHokie Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 If one of your friends told you that Anything other than what she says directly to you is irrelevant. And it better be more than just "hi, how have you been..." It better be more like, "I made a huge mistake and can't imagine my life with anyone other than you...and I will do everything I can to make sure it works this time..."
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 tbh usmchokie has the nail hit on the head. she new what she saw saying when she finished you. if she had anything to say it should be how sorry she is that she ever broke up with you and that she cant live without you. she doenst want you but needs you. then maybe you can talk to her. it depends what you want. do you want someone back that has already broke up with you? can you both forget the past and just move forward? remember you will still have little arguments. can each of you mention this? its always hard to take someone back. its harder to make it last
Author xtreme Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 I'm doing NC but we havent blocked each other, it really doesnt affect me as much if I still have her added on msn or FB, only thing is I end up reading her "status" on FB or her status on MSN which is normal.
name witheld Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 sean and chokie are right. Don't do it. Read some of my posts, learn from the mistakes I made. She contacted me and I thought it was start of second chance, but no. And never did she say I've made a huge mistake etc. If she wants you back she will let you know, anything is just stringing you along and stopping you from meeting someone that really wants to be with you.
Author xtreme Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 So far NC, would I be wrong to just text or msg her "Happy Valentines Day", it will be 25 days of NC come that day.
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 So far NC, would I be wrong to just text or msg her "Happy Valentines Day", it will be 25 days of NC come that day. Yes, it would be wrong. Don't do it.
Author xtreme Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 USM: I wonder how an ex will know that your changing from the experience, like starting to work out etc things they wanted you to do but now your doing it to better yourself.
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 USM: I wonder how an ex will know that your changing from the experience, like starting to work out etc things they wanted you to do but now your doing it to better yourself. Well, here's the thing...it doesn't matter whether they know or not...you can't do anything to change their mind about your relationship...if they come back, it's because they want to come back...not because of anything you did or said... And the bottom line is that you shouldn't care if they know that you're a better man now...like you said, you're doing it to better yourself, not to try to fix a broken relationship... You're becoming a better man for the next girl that will come into your life...one that appreciates who you are and who you will become...
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Anything other than what she says directly to you is irrelevant. And it better be more than just "hi, how have you been..." It better be more like, "I made a huge mistake and can't imagine my life with anyone other than you...and I will do everything I can to make sure it works this time..." Everything USMCHokie has spoken, I believe to be true. Doesn't make it the right choice or path to take and believe in, but I will affirm his beliefs.
Author xtreme Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Yeah, even though its obvious I miss her and sad you know, I'm grateful to have learned a lot from her. I just wish I can find someone to love again that will love me as much as I love them. After everything, I'm still doing great on all my first exams of the semester, all I wanna do is just improve.
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Everything USMCHokie has spoken, I believe to be true. Doesn't make it the right choice or path to take and believe in, but I will affirm his beliefs. My name is Kelvin, and I endorse this message... How have you been, Rob? Have a good weekend?
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yeah, even though its obvious I miss her and sad you know, I'm grateful to have learned a lot from her. I just wish I can find someone to love again that will love me as much as I love them. After everything, I'm still doing great on all my first exams of the semester, all I wanna do is just improve. You are on the path in the right direction. you sound like a great guy (no homo). I am hoping to meet an amazing woman one day that I deserve.. who deserves me. To love like crazy and fall head over heels for her and she the SAME for me... and for us each to risk it all and expect nothing back and be equals among lovers, friends, partners, companions, and more... My name is Kelvin, and I endorse this message... How have you been, Rob? Have a good weekend? Hey Kelvin, I'm doing well man... it's been an interesting weekend... really interesting. You? Have fun?
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Hey Kelvin, I'm doing well man... it's been an interesting weekend... really interesting. You? Have fun? Yea, the weekend was good. Went to the Florida State Fair...and after having spent time there, I have come to the realization that I'm doing alright... I take it you were drownin' in bitches this weekend...? And xtreme, each relationship we have in life should be treated as a learning experience. An experience that we will take to our future relationships. I too look forward to finding that woman that loves me as much as I love her... I felt that with my ex, and for whatever reason it just didn't work out...doesn't mean that I don't cherish that experience I had with her. I learned a lot from the experience and hope to make the next relationship I have that much better...
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yea, the weekend was good. Went to the Florida State Fair...and after having spent time there, I have come to the realization that I'm doing alright... I take it you were drownin' in bitches this weekend...? I think I was cock blocked 50 times minimum because I had hot female friends all over me. And not in 'that' way...
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I think I was cock blocked 50 times minimum because I had hot female friends all over me. And not in 'that' way... Ummm...what the hell...I can be up in Boston in about 12 hours...
counterman Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Why change something that is working well for you? You seem do be doing well with NC and it will get better. I think you should stick with it.
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