tigereyes1428 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 do not buy him anything - seriously? its ending because he made you feel inferior just by being you. why would you want to reward him with a gift. its ok to mourn the end but take the rose tinted glasses off - he made you upset and question yourself regularly - what exactly do you mean by " he has done so much for me"? x Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 do not buy him anything - seriously? its ending because he made you feel inferior just by being you. why would you want to reward him with a gift. its ok to mourn the end but take the rose tinted glasses off - he made you upset and question yourself regularly - what exactly do you mean by " he has done so much for me"? x I figured that since he has bought me so many gifts over the course of the relationship then its the least that I could do. He bought me a bulk load of presents for christmas and what I got him was something sweet but it was just something to have until his real present he wanted be in stock. And now since its in stock to order I was going to buy it for him. My friend said that I should just keep that money and spend it on myself. But that's kind of selfish right? If I promised it, then I should do it. Anyways my friend said to treat myself with that money and don't do to his house. She stated that if he really wanted the key back to his house then he will call me to drop it off or come and get it. But I really just want to be done, and I know by having items of his will hold me back. Link to post Share on other sites
tigereyes1428 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 i know what your thinking here - be honest . do you just want to see him? at this stage of no contact it can be terribly hard - i think your friend is right - ask her to drop key and get stuff - there is no reason to see him if its over? is there - and spend the money on yourself - so what he bought you gifts - from what you said he deprived you in a lot of other ways . do not allow lonlieness or missing him to weaken your resolve here. please Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 My friend said that I should just keep that money and spend it on myself. But that's kind of selfish right? If I promised it, then I should do it. Anyways my friend said to treat myself with that money and don't do to his house. She stated that if he really wanted the key back to his house then he will call me to drop it off or come and get it. But I really just want to be done, and I know by having items of his will hold me back. I agree with your friend. Put the money in savings or something but don't buy him anything. Xmas has come and gone. He screwed up. Game over. You're spending a lot of time wallowing in your misery and totally forgetting the reason you broke up with him. He treated you badly. Just deal with getting past the emotions and move on. He's not the guy for you. He would only get worse as time went on. Trust me, I've been there. Women continually screw themselves by giving guys too many chances and by giving in to their emotions. It's a mistake. If he wants his keys, either have a friend drop them off to him, or put them in the mail. If you want to track them, send them fedex. There's no point in seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
tigereyes1428 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I agree with your friend. Put the money in savings or something but don't buy him anything. Xmas has come and gone. He screwed up. Game over. You're spending a lot of time wallowing in your misery and totally forgetting the reason you broke up with him. He treated you badly. Just deal with getting past the emotions and move on. He's not the guy for you. He would only get worse as time went on. Trust me, I've been there. Women continually screw themselves by giving guys too many chances and by giving in to their emotions. It's a mistake. If he wants his keys, either have a friend drop them off to him, or put them in the mail. If you want to track them, send them fedex. There's no point in seeing him. Angel is absolutely right - your forgetting why you broke up - your missing him naturally and want to see him but it will set you back to day 1 of NC and the only way you will feel better is when the days of NC start mounting up =- trust me. its over he hurt you and would continue to do so - dont reward him by buying gifts or crying in front of him. he needs to know what he did and what he has lost. stay strong Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Angel is absolutely right - your forgetting why you broke up - your missing him naturally and want to see him but it will set you back to day 1 of NC and the only way you will feel better is when the days of NC start mounting up =- trust me. its over he hurt you and would continue to do so - dont reward him by buying gifts or crying in front of him. he needs to know what he did and what he has lost. stay strong Deep down I do want to see him. But I know I can't. I'm not emotionally stable too I did borrow some money from him last week , which was a loan. So I do need to pay that back. How do I go about getting my items back without seeing him? Well the only thing he has that's mine is my Wii... my only friend that I have doent really want to be the middle person with the exchanges. Because she feels that we will be back together so its a waste of time. I've reminded her repeatedly that its exausting, and this time its official. But I guess she isn't buying it. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure what iwas thinking to still buy him that expensive gift. I just want to be remembered as the girl who loved, adored , trusted him and did everything I could to save the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you have other things that you need to get from him, you may not have a choice but to see him. Either that, or let him have the Wii and write it off, or ask him to mail it to you. If he does, great. If he doesn't, then consider it gone. And, yes, pay back the money you borrowed from him. Send a check in the fedex packet that you send him with the keys, and include an extra amount of money to pay for mailing the Wii to you. Or send a pre-paid fedex box with everything else you send. There ARE ways around this - you're just not thinking of them because you don't want to. I'm kinda with your friend on this one. You're still too emotional and thinking too much about what he thinks and feels, which isn't a good sign that you're really done with this relationship. It has all the signs of reconcillation. I really hope you don't go back, though. It sounds like you've been down this road before with him. I didn't know that, and that makes this even more serious. Stay away from him at all costs. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Have you made the choices that you really wanted. I'm not sure if you ever communicated your feelings with this guy after starting this thread, maybe I missed that post. Unless I'm mistaken you went from wanting to talk about the relationship to breaking up with him. Maybe thats got something to do with the hard time your having, IDK. I would think that the one who does the breaking up wouldn't be feeling as you have posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Whatever you do, don't do back with him. Almost every woman has been in a relationship that is sort of like this where you two are incompatible but you still love him. There are many men who would find those quirks of yours (and personally, I have tons myself throughout the day!) to be the highlight of their day. Good luck, and you've certainly proven to us that you're not stupid! Link to post Share on other sites
tigereyes1428 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Whatever you do, don't do back with him. Almost every woman has been in a relationship that is sort of like this where you two are incompatible but you still love him. There are many men who would find those quirks of yours (and personally, I have tons myself throughout the day!) to be the highlight of their day. Good luck, and you've certainly proven to us that you're not stupid! speaking from experience - what your feeling just now is normal - even though you know you need to split, your starting to forget the reasons why and look back at your relationship with the rose tinted glasses on, it was not hearts and flowers your being so brave and strong to end a relationship with someone who did not love your natural quirkiness and silly traits, how can you live your life with someone who makes you feel that way and that you need to watch what you say in front of 24 / 7 - each day you pine for him is a day longer from meeting the man who is going to kiss you and laugh when you say something "stupid" your perfect as you are - x Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Have you made the choices that you really wanted. I'm not sure if you ever communicated your feelings with this guy after starting this thread, maybe I missed that post. Unless I'm mistaken you went from wanting to talk about the relationship to breaking up with him. Maybe thats got something to do with the hard time your having, IDK. I would think that the one who does the breaking up wouldn't be feeling as you have posted. I didn't break up with him he broke up with me. We spoke briefly Sunday and that's when I knew it may be coming. So when I spoke to him Monday he told me that he can't take it and he wants to just be friends. I tried begging, I pleaded, I cried. And it didn't work. What do you mean have I made the choices I really want? I told him how much I love him, how much I adored him, so he's aware how I feel. After that convo we said everything we needed to say about each other than what we was going to do with our possessions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Whatever you do, don't do back with him. Almost every woman has been in a relationship that is sort of like this where you two are incompatible but you still love him. There are many men who would find those quirks of yours (and personally, I have tons myself throughout the day!) to be the highlight of their day. Good luck, and you've certainly proven to us that you're not stupid! Thank you awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
tigereyes1428 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I didn't break up with him he broke up with me. We spoke briefly Sunday and that's when I knew it may be coming. So when I spoke to him Monday he told me that he can't take it and he wants to just be friends. I tried begging, I pleaded, I cried. And it didn't work. What do you mean have I made the choices I really want? I told him how much I love him, how much I adored him, so he's aware how I feel. After that convo we said everything we needed to say about each other than what we was going to do with our possessions. you have made the choices because you kept the door shut - you told him what you needed and refused to accept less than your worth. yes you begged and cried etc - BUT THEN PICKED YOURSELF UP and told him basically he had to live with the choice he just made and he has lost you. YEAH?? dont cave in.... if you get the urge to call or email - message me instead . I am here for you girl. x Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 So, how have things been going? Have you truly cut him out of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 I don't even know where to start. My bf and I have been together a little less than a year. we have had our share of disagreements just like any couple. But, the hurtful thing is that he feels like I am stupid. I am very intelligent and educated so he doesn't mean stupid in that sense. But he feels like I say things without thinking. I do , but its more of a force of habit. I explained that its always rhetorical questions. Example. This just happened yesterday which we had an argument over. I pulled into a gas station. Me: babe, use my card, I'm going to keep my cash Him: credit or debit Me: Debit :im: what's your zipcode Me: 48294 So he steps out the card to proceed to pump the gas :im: what's your pin #? Me: it asks for a pin #? And that set him off. I tried explaining that it was more of a 'shocked' question not that I was questioning him. I was surprised that the pump asked for a pin considering I've never used a pump that needed my pin number. It took it as be not trusting him. Stated that if he is asking for my pin number then evidently its asking for one. Since yesterday he has been terribly upset with me. Stated that its a small thing but I'm constantly doing things like that. I told him I would try to catch what I say but I do itwithout realizing it. Today he called and stated that he's not sure if he can put up with it. Stated that he is tired and its exausting. I tried explaining that if he was to point out those moments to tell me and I can catch my myself and be more attentive, to which he responded its not worth it, its part of my characteristic. I love him with all my heart, and just want to be with him. I'm not sure actually what I'm asking but I just don't know what to do. I do have some moments that's kind of blah. Right now I'm only working. And my job isn't challenging at all. I sit in front of a computer for 8 hours and do 30 minutes worth of work. I sit and surf the net all day. And I guess for that reason I'm not exercizing my brain. Is it possible to still love someone and be with them even though they have a flaw that feel like you can get over? I'm just scared of losing him. My whole life revolves around him. Debit requires a pin, credit requires a signature. I'm a little surprised you didn't know that, but I certainly wouldn't yell at you over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Debit requires a pin, credit requires a signature. I'm a little surprised you didn't know that, but I certainly wouldn't yell at you over it. This has been covered already. Gas stations vary - sometimes they ask for your pin # and sometimes they ask for your zip code. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 So, how have things been going? Have you truly cut him out of your life? Hi Carl, The first few days was very hard for me. I broke down a few times. I almost called him but I resisted the urge and logged onto LS each time I felt the need to. Sunday he texted me and said Happy Valentines Day. and then later that day he texted me and said "you not gone respond"? Then I finally broke down and responded at 3 in the morning last night. and said " I am still hurting, I dont have much to say'.. and he texted me back this morning and said "sorry" and what do I want from him? I told him that I need time and I need space. and he said ok I guess my reasoning for telling him that I was still hurting was because I felt like he needed to know that I was hurting and i somewhat wanted him to feel guilty. The last few days I have had a great attitude about everything. Today I just felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. and I feel a little guilty because I truely love him and miss him. But I realize that I have to give him space and let him 'be'! I know its hurting him a little because he isnt able to talk to me. He wants to still remain friends or have me in his life some type of way and I just wont allow it . also, Im sure he is a little side tracked because usually when we argue i am always the one to give in, with a follow up email. and I havent done none of that. overall Im doing good. i am focusing on myself. he had his chance. and now he has to live with his decision. I cant do the back and forth anymore. everyone here has halped me tremendously. I cant express that enough. A thousand thank you's!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 Debit requires a pin, credit requires a signature. I'm a little surprised you didn't know that, but I certainly wouldn't yell at you over it. This was just the first gas station I been to that asked for a pin # Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Wow. That was a coincidence. You started your update thread a couple hours before I asked you for the update. I could have just gone over there and read that. I guess I'm the stupid one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 I know how he feels. I feel the same way about my mom sometimes. You're obviously leaving some parts out, though, as he wouldn't just get mad at the stuff you said. My mom constantly acts naive/stupid Im not leaving anything out. that was his excuse. Also, I think he may be back with his ex. this same situation has happened a few months ago. and then he came back to me and apologized. But, there wasnt any consequences involved since I felt like we werent together so how can I get mad. I was terribly upset that he broke up with me, but we still remained in contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 Wow. That was a coincidence. You started your update thread a couple hours before I asked you for the update. I could have just gone over there and read that. I guess I'm the stupid one. yea it was.... i thought that was the only reason why you brung it up! ha! Bubbles!!!!! now I can laugh about it. I call my friends Bubbles too when they do crazy stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 This has been covered already. Gas stations vary - sometimes they ask for your pin # and sometimes they ask for your zip code. Nope, ALL transactions require zipcode for CREDIT and pin for DEBIT. You can run a debit card as a credit card and they ask for zip and not pin, but if you choose debit they ask for a pin. That's just how it works - both methods have a corresponding method of verification. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Nope, ALL transactions require zipcode for CREDIT and pin for DEBIT. You can run a debit card as a credit card and they ask for zip and not pin, but if you choose debit they ask for a pin. That's just how it works - both methods have a corresponding method of verification. I only use a debit card. Sometimes I'm asked for the zip code and sometimes I'm asked for the pin #. I never select which type of card it is unless it's required. It is possible that if 'debit' isn't selected, it automatically runs it as a credit card. That might explain why different gas stations ask for different things. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 I only use a debit card. Sometimes I'm asked for the zip code and sometimes I'm asked for the pin #. I never select which type of card it is unless it's required. It is possible that if 'debit' isn't selected, it automatically runs it as a credit card. That might explain why different gas stations ask for different things. Yup. If you don't choose debit it will run as a credit, which is why it asks for zip. Every single time you choose debit, you're asked for your pin. debit verification = pin credit verification = zip/signature That's just the way it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Signed up for the gym yesterday. And today is my first day. Wish me luck! I have tried doing the 10 minute abs on t.v and have only lasted 3 minutes. I'm sure this will relieve some stress.. Link to post Share on other sites
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