VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Hey guys I would appreciate some advice on this situation please. I have been friends with this girl since November 2009 got to know her through a project we are working on. At the start she initiated meeting up as friends, I wasn’t looking for anything because I was so busy so I never bothered with her in that sense. Since that first meeting we have stayed in touch and seen each other a few times a week. Now we are seeing each other every day for hours and I am starting to get attached to her, however I mentioned to her that we should give it a try (relationship) but she tried to divert the subject and said “well I am moving away in a couple of months and you don’t do long distance relationships anyway”, true she wants to move to a different country in a few months and I did say that I don’t do long distance relationships however there is no reason for her to not give it a try!?? I also don’t really understand as to why she does not want to talk about it at all!?? I mean she knows I like her more than just a friend.....from what she has told me, she has a lot of guy friends that like her but she just sees them as friends. To be honest I do not want to fall in this category so I was wondering if some of you could give me some advice...? Also if I continue seeing her like this I will get attached and then I am screwed!
BG1985 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 She's already rejected you. Move on. You don't HAVE to drop her, however there is no need to invest too much in a friendship from this point on either. Since she knows you like her while not reciprocating those feelings, she will keep you at arms' length. It'll also suck seeing her with other guys.
St. Nick Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Listen to BG1985, you've definitely been rejected. She locked you in the friend category and you're definitely not going any further. Move on and do not look back.
Author VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 She's already rejected you. Move on. You don't HAVE to drop her, however there is no need to invest too much in a friendship from this point on either. Since she knows you like her while not reciprocating those feelings, she will keep you at arms' length. It'll also suck seeing her with other guys. Very true, I guess I will just have to move on. I think it would have worked out if I wouldn't have been a nice guy with her. anymore advice from others on how they view the situation?
boogieboy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Very true, I guess I will just have to move on. I think it would have worked out if I wouldn't have been a nice guy with her. anymore advice from others on how they view the situation? When anyone suggests meeting up as friends, you say no thanks. And you NEVER get attached to a woman that you havent kissed yet.
Author VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 When anyone suggests meeting up as friends, you say no thanks. And you NEVER get attached to a woman that you havent kissed yet. Thanks for the advice, I will definitely keep that in mind!! Any idea how I move away without being upfront about it?
Barky Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 And you NEVER get attached to a woman that you havent f***ed yet. Corrected
St. Nick Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 You've already been rejected. There is no need to try to be sly about getting away. Just don't hang around with her: no text messages, no calls, don't try to be her friend--you have to treat her like a stranger on the street.
Author VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Corrected Might have to stick to your correction now You've already been rejected. There is no need to try to be sly about getting away. Just don't hang around with her: no text messages, no calls, don't try to be her friend--you have to treat her like a stranger on the street. Sounds easy when you put it this way but we have been friends all this time and if I just decide to ignore her from now on she will think I am a complete ahole..... so I am just trying to find an easy way out?? I cannot really understand why the hell she wants to be around me even though she knows I like her....
Greenpeacer Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 You have 2 Big problems: 1) She is not interested. 2) She is moving. Depending if you think she is NOT worth keeping as a friend, then ask to date her. Send her chocolates (within your budget) this will cause her to back off or go for it. Either way, you get an answer. IF she is worth keeping as friend, then you need to back off and keep her as friend. She might come around but expect nothing See #1 and 2. Is she really worth keeping as a friend?? Does this help?
Author VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 You have 2 Big problems: 1) She is not interested. 2) She is moving. Depending if you think she is NOT worth keeping as a friend, then ask to date her. Send her chocolates (within your budget) this will cause her to back off or go for it. Either way, you get an answer. IF she is worth keeping as friend, then you need to back off and keep her as friend. She might come around but expect nothing See #1 and 2. Is she really worth keeping as a friend?? Does this help? Well she is worth keeping as a friend, I mean almost anyone is worth keeping as a friend. The only thing is that she wants to be very close friends...which isn't good for me if I like her. I guess the best thing to do is just slowly move away. I think asking her out is going to be pointless, she knows I like her because I have made a move. I am pretty sure she is not expecting anything but then again I have no more time to waste... thanks for the advice.
big dawg Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 guys go 2 www.Russian-Dating-Site.com,it has all the hottest russian and ukrainina chicks.visit this site and u might get lucky....
St. Nick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Well she is worth keeping as a friend, I mean almost anyone is worth keeping as a friend. The only thing is that she wants to be very close friends...which isn't good for me if I like her. I guess the best thing to do is just slowly move away. I think asking her out is going to be pointless, she knows I like her because I have made a move. I am pretty sure she is not expecting anything but then again I have no more time to waste... thanks for the advice. Do not do the friend thing; you have to cut off from her entirely! I added the exclamation mark for emphasis. If she rejected you but still wants to be friends that means she wants your attention to boost her ego. That's definitely bad. Let me ask the following: 1. How would you feel if she got a new bf? 2. Would you like her to call you up and chat about how great her bf is? 3. When she has a fight with her bf, she might call you up to ask for advice or unload her problems on, would you like this? 4. When she breaks up, do you want to be Mr. Shoulder-to-cry-on (chances are you won't be getting any sex; and if you do she'll blow it off as being unimportant because she was still getting over her ex)? 5. Do you wanna hear her talk about dating guys other than you? If you're uncomfortable with any of the following above then it's best not to still be her friend. Not everybody is worthy to be yer friend. She rejected you but wants to be friends cuz she's one of those women who likes to have a male friend who is attracted to her in order to fulfill her attention whore "needs". She's definitely gonna tease you and this will drive you up the wall. Her friendship won't be worth such aggravation. You have a gut instinct that is telling you to just cut off the friendship with her. Listen to it.
Author VeryConfused&Lost Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Do not do the friend thing; you have to cut off from her entirely! I added the exclamation mark for emphasis. If she rejected you but still wants to be friends that means she wants your attention to boost her ego. That's definitely bad. Let me ask the following: 1. How would you feel if she got a new bf? 2. Would you like her to call you up and chat about how great her bf is? 3. When she has a fight with her bf, she might call you up to ask for advice or unload her problems on, would you like this? 4. When she breaks up, do you want to be Mr. Shoulder-to-cry-on (chances are you won't be getting any sex; and if you do she'll blow it off as being unimportant because she was still getting over her ex)? 5. Do you wanna hear her talk about dating guys other than you? If you're uncomfortable with any of the following above then it's best not to still be her friend. Not everybody is worthy to be yer friend. She rejected you but wants to be friends cuz she's one of those women who likes to have a male friend who is attracted to her in order to fulfill her attention whore "needs". She's definitely gonna tease you and this will drive you up the wall. Her friendship won't be worth such aggravation. You have a gut instinct that is telling you to just cut off the friendship with her. Listen to it. I think you are very right here, here are the answers to your questions 1. How would you feel if she got a new bf? Not good at all! 2. Would you like her to call you up and chat about how great her bf is? Nope!! 3. When she has a fight with her bf, she might call you up to ask for advice or unload her problems on, would you like this? Nope!! 4. When she breaks up, do you want to be Mr. Shoulder-to-cry-on (chances are you won't be getting any sex; and if you do she'll blow it off as being unimportant because she was still getting over her ex)? Again NO!! 5. Do you wanna hear her talk about dating guys other than you? Again No!! And yes she does love attention and being told that she is great, but I get the feeling that the only reason she wants to be around me is because I respect her and tell what she wants to hear, give her more confidence....it would be interesting to see how she reacts to be not giving her any attention!?
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