Chicago_Guy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Check out her picture on the link I provided, she looks old, not like a 40yr old woman. My mom looks younger than her and my mom is in her 60's. Is that really her picture? She does look like she's in her 60s. She must have spent a lot of time out in the sun or tanning when she was younger.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Is that true that the author of that book has never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months? If that's true then she simply isn't marriage material because she is far too fickle to be in a relationship. Even if she had married someone when she was in her 20s, I bet she would have gotten bored and divorced the guy within a couple years. She must have been really self-absorbed until she hit her late 30s and realized that nobody wanted her anymore. That is what it says in that jewish journal article I linked to, it's the first time I hear of her I just did a quick google on her since that is what I tend to do when I read, I like to know the source. Read the comments at the bottom of that article they are mint! The one guy who goes off on the blogger's article and says she should read the book before dissing it, also happens to be a contributor to Gottlieb's book. Hey I've never read a Harlequins Romance but I know trash when I see it. Anyone gets a book deal these days under the false pretense that it will be a self help book when in fact what they should call them is "opinion books"! I want a book deal too I have tons of opinions!! Settling is for people who only see marriage as an acquisition and a material goal in life, not an act of love. No one who believes in love and true mutual admiration and respect would advocate "settling".
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It's unfortunate that we have to discredit authors and prejudge them on their background history, when it comes to books on how people should lead their lives but it only makes sense to do so. I would not buy a book on how to become a millionaire from a homeless guy, anymore than I would follow this woman's words of advice.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I do think there are some women who have unrealistic goals that no human can ever live up to and even if they did she would still be unhappy. There are also women who a twisted version of settling. Chasing after a married man is perfectly okay but a good man who has some slight imperfection is considered settling. That being said it sounds like she wants a man to settle for her rather than the other way around.
You'reasian Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 That is what it says in that jewish journal article I linked to, it's the first time I hear of her I just did a quick google on her since that is what I tend to do when I read, I like to know the source. Read the comments at the bottom of that article they are mint! The one guy who goes off on the blogger's article and says she should read the book before dissing it, also happens to be a contributor to Gottlieb's book. Hey I've never read a Harlequins Romance but I know trash when I see it. Anyone gets a book deal these days under the false pretense that it will be a self help book when in fact what they should call them is "opinion books"! I want a book deal too I have tons of opinions!! Settling is for people who only see marriage as an acquisition and a material goal in life, not an act of love. No one who believes in love and true mutual admiration and respect would advocate "settling". It should be an act of love, absolutely! People don't marry for the intent of getting divorced - but the divorcce rate is so high (~50%). Are married couples settling?
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I do think there are some women who have unrealistic goals that no human can ever live up to and even if they did she would still be unhappy. There are also women who a twisted version of settling. Chasing after a married man is perfectly okay but a good man who has some slight imperfection is considered settling. That being said it sounds like she wants a man to settle for her rather than the other way around. Yes that is definitely true I cannot disagree with that. However, what this woman is doing is that she is painting our current society with this general affliction attributing blame on women for not wanting to settle when she herself refuses to do so. Hypocrite much? I may have extreme views and completely unrealistic need that makes it impossible for any man to fulfill, heck I may be crazy, but I won't write a book telling other women to follow footsteps that I myself am not willing to follow. I think that is the pill people find very hard to swallow.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 People don't marry for the intent of getting divorced - but the divorcce rate is so high (~50%). Are married couples settling? I don't know, I can't speak for all married couples I am sure they run the gamut of reasons why people get married ranging from true love, to convenience, to "seems like the reasonable next step", to sexual infatuation perceived as love, to friendship that is hopeful of turning into an all encompassing attraction. Unless there is an extreme case of infidelity or abuse where people are forced to get out, in my humble opinion I think that people bail on marriages as much as they do these days because they simply don't want to deal with the "for worse" part of the relationship. In some cases maybe people got married during an infatuation stage and then realize that once it dies down there is nothing left, I think that is the minority though.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 A woman should never take advice from someone with bast@rd kids. Modern women have been duped by a cruel hoax perpetrated by the feminist agenda. They have given up their essential roles of wife and mother and instead have become sex objects and worker drones. healthy society is concerned with its survival and the propagation of its values. This requires that new generations are born and raised in a healthy manner, i.e. in a nuclear family. In a healthy society, women are honored for nurturing and educating the young, a role for which they are naturally suited. The feminists encouraged sexual dissipation using their various "progressive" fronts: liberalism, feminism, socialism and communism. The great appeal of left wing movements has always been the promise of "free" sex (i.e. free of the restraints of love & marriage.) The inflated status of fertile young women is another characteristic of our feminist induced dysfunction. These women remind me of poker players recklessly overplaying their hand. They have lost the capacity to love, and sex is a paltry substitute. Instead they substitute it with laundry lists that no man can possibly live up to. These women have doomed themselves to die bitter and alone.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 The inflated status of fertile young women is another characteristic of our feminist induced dysfunction. These women remind me of poker players recklessly overplaying their hand. They have lost the capacity to love, and sex is a paltry substitute. Instead they substitute it with laundry lists that no man can possibly live up to. These women have doomed themselves to die bitter and alone. Your post was great up until this part I quoted, that's unfair. There are equally the same amount of men who also don't want to have babies and get married well into their 30's. It's not fair to say it is women who don't want this. Granted I am an example of what you are saying since in my 20's I couldn't dream of being married and having kids, I simply did not feel ready, but then when I was ready in my early 30's I was with someone who didn't want that, I later found out, and kids was a huge point of contention since he didn't want to have any kids at the time, his career was soaring and he did not feel ready for any of that. It's been 6 years now he is still not ready, he's single and an eternal bachelor. So you can't just blame women for putting off having a family and the feminist movement, men are just as guilty of this. I have guy friends in their 50's now who married in their mid 40's and became dads in their late 40's. Men have been putting off family for centuries.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I think that most women simply don't know how to have healthy relationships anymore. They chase the worst scum they can find until they are a certain age then either become desperately lonely or become angry misandrists who blame all men for their mistakes. I have a thread where I describe a nice cozy day where we were snowed and we just enjoyed each other's company. It is amazing how much of a chore that is for most women to do without starting some drama. They simply do not know hot to truly love and accept love. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids or marriage. My wife and I probably don't want kids but we don't half ass it. We choose not to become parents but we don't have kids and then 10 years later rip their world apart and destroy their stability because she is bored and wants to find herself. The reason why some men are so afraid of commitment is because too often all that talk about it goes right out the window once a woman is done with her wedding day. Men want to know that a woman will put as much effort into building a life with him as she does into planning her wedding and most don't.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I have a thread where I describe a nice cozy day where we were snowed and we just enjoyed each other's company. It is amazing how much of a chore that is for most women to do without starting some drama. They simply do not know hot to truly love and accept love I did much of that this weekend, minus the drama of course, we were supposed to meet some of my friends out Sat night but we played hooky instead so that we could sit around and watch movies cuddling in each other's arms an feeding each other Swedish berries. The best is staying in to playing scrabble too. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids or marriage. My wife and I probably don't want kids but we don't half ass it. We choose not to become parents but we don't have kids and then 10 years later rip their world apart and destroy their stability because she is bored and wants to find herself. Yes but Woggle people change, people evolve in relationships and sometimes a relationship doesn't grow together a person evolves into something different than what they were 10yrs before and wants different things than their partner. Some men who start off like you and your wife leave their wives at 40 because they decide they want to have kids and the woman can't. People do change there is no guarantee of that, there is no guarantee that people will evolve together. It's not gender specific, I don't get why you make this so gender specific?
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Women can do that with friends but a man tries to enjoy a day like that with the woman he loves and there is nothing but drama. Yes people change and men do this too but just look at this board. There is thread after thread after thread where men did everything they could to be a good man and all of a sudden his wife just turns on him. Also women initiate 70 of divorces. There are exceptions but for the most part this very much is a gender issue.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yes people change and men do this too but just look at this board. There is thread after thread after thread where men did everything they could to be a good man and all of a sudden his wife just turns on him. Also women initiate 70 of divorces. There are exceptions but for the most part this very much is a gender issue. Woggle you kind of have to take things you see on a board like this with a grain of salt, you are only reading for the most part one side of a situation, not to say people are lying who post here I am sure they are very honest but our honesty in a time of crisis can be very lob sided we all do that. I mean if we were to take everything at face value look at the topic we are on, had we not done research on the author and just taken the comments at face value it would have been a very different story.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Woggle you kind of have to take things you see on a board like this with a grain of salt, you are only reading for the most part one side of a situation, not to say people are lying who post here I am sure they are very honest but our honesty in a time of crisis can be very lob sided we all do that. I mean if we were to take everything at face value look at the topic we are on, had we not done research on the author and just taken the comments at face value it would have been a very different story. It's what I see offline. I know so many men who would lay down and die for their women and she couldn't care less but she will drive herself crazy chasing after a married man or some smooth player.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It's what I see offline. I know so many men who would lay down and die for their women and she couldn't care less but she will drive herself crazy chasing after a married man or some smooth player. well you are the one who gave "thread after thread" as an example so I assumed you meant online. In any event, I see what you have expressed too with women who don't appreciate their good husbands, and I also see the reverse too men who don't appreciate their good women. That is the minority of what I see though. I see for the most part, people who have fairly good relationships, with their ups and downs and hardships and their good times as well. No one has a perfect relationship, no one looking from the outside in, in day to day life can gauge what really goes on in a person's relationship/marriage. I have seen some things that to the naked eye looks very off-putting at first and you wonder why people put up with what they do. Then later on as you get to know a couple better you start to see the two sides of the dynamic and you can understand things a little better. In my experience very rarely is bad energy in a relationships one sided, it takes two to make that dynamic. Of course I am not discounting your experience, in your instance you might see a lot more one sided negative energy. Just saying that is not what I see in my surroundings.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 well you are the one who gave "thread after thread" as an example so I assumed you meant online. In any event, I see what you have expressed too with women who don't appreciate their good husbands, and I also see the reverse too men who don't appreciate their good women. That is the minority of what I see though. I see for the most part, people who have fairly good relationships, with their ups and downs and hardships and their good times as well. No one has a perfect relationship, no one looking from the outside in, in day to day life can gauge what really goes on in a person's relationship/marriage. I have seen some things that to the naked eye looks very off-putting at first and you wonder why people put up with what they do. Then later on as you get to know a couple better you start to see the two sides of the dynamic and you can understand things a little better. In my experience very rarely is bad energy in a relationships one sided, it takes two to make that dynamic. Of course I am not discounting your experience, in your instance you might see a lot more one sided negative energy. Just saying that is not what I see in my surroundings. Maybe this is true and I need to look out of my enviroment. If you watch that show Jersey Shore that is the town where I live so maybe that explains what I see around me.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Maybe this is true and I need to look out of my enviroment. If you watch that show Jersey Shore that is the town where I live so maybe that explains what I see around me. :lmao::lmao: That is the funniest thing to say. Definitely check out "the situation" pun intended! In all seriousness that show can't be a fair representation of what Jersey is like. But it sure is a good load of fun to watch!
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 :lmao::lmao: That is the funniest thing to say. Definitely check out "the situation" pun intended! In all seriousness that show can't be a fair representation of what Jersey is like. But it sure is a good load of fun to watch! It is not even a fair representation of what the Jersey Shore is like.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Wait, so is it better or worse than the show? I was in Atlantic City when I was 15 and went to the Jersey Shore, it was kind of cheesy then but it was still fun. I bought a two toned rocker shirt on the boardwalk with an iron on of David Lee Roth....woooooo!
greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Your initial argument is that older men are bipolar and schizophrenic. Seems more of a generalization of men, not something you are dealing with. Next you mention that guys have anger issues, to which we discussed anger management techniques (exercise, communication, hobbies etc) but now that we're talking about your guy - he's got mama issues. The three of you should talk about this. Isn't it great to meet and converse with the parents of your SO? I for one enjoy this - but this is something that you should hope to discuss with them. Some moms are more laid back about letting their sons chose when and whom they should marry - that's too bad. Then you say you could never date a guy who fights people. Why? No, I don't mean all guys (or the one I'm dating) has those issues, just that many of the single guys do. I couldn't date a violent man because he'd probably hit me too. He does have a mama issue and I suspect when I do meet her (he wants to wait a few more months which makes sense) she'll hound me.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Plus she is a single mom, she has a kid she had with an anonymous sperm donor (which I am totally for if a woman wants a child and she opts to do so) but the fact is that she is desperate to get love and she is pulling all these stunts out of desperation not necessity to be a mother or to write a book to help women. http://jezebel.com/354535/settle-for-mr-just-ok--while-your-marital-value-is-still-at-its-peak I looked at other pics of her online she has crazy eyes too. My thoughts are: I choose role models and words to live by, from sources that I can respect and admire. Everything else is fluff. Edit: and a recovering anorexic too! LOL Ok she is certifiable now... Taking relationship advice from her is like taking sober lessons from Amy Winehouse.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Taking relationship advice from her is like taking sober lessons from Amy Winehouse. Yeah, excellent source.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Just to play devil's advocate there might be a don't end up like me element to it. It's sort of like those scared straight programs where they kids to prisons.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yes but Woggle people change, people evolve in relationships and sometimes a relationship doesn't grow together a person evolves into something different than what they were 10yrs before and wants different things than their partner. Some men who start off like you and your wife leave their wives at 40 because they decide they want to have kids and the woman can't. People do change there is no guarantee of that, there is no guarantee that people will evolve together. It's not gender specific, I don't get why you make this so gender specific? Agreed. I've known people of both genders who change views they normally wouldn't. I once dated a guy in college who insisted he'd never marry. Ten years later he did. I myself changed a lot in 10 years. When I was 22 I was with a guy who didn't want kids (and let it be known if I became pregnant he'd abandon me). At the time I didn't want kids either and was very strong on this. Now I'm not as strong and in fact am leaning towrds having them.
Twenty-ten Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Just to play devil's advocate there might be a don't end up like me element to it. It's sort of like those scared straight programs where they kids to prisons. Yes and if that's the case I would think that it is a better way to go about it, but in the little I have read it appears she faults women in general not herself for her life choices. I would tend to respect a book that autobiographically states "avoid these pitfalls because look at what happened to me," than women today should do this this and this because they fail. Projection is a cop up and it does not inspire respect since she is not taking accountability. On a different note where is the OP to defend the book? Kissandmakeup, you read the book what is so special about it or her stance?
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