Dating yet, problems occuring : /

[Vyzorr]

Hi,

Firstly i'd like to introduce myself to these forums.. I'm new... so yeah : / well nothing was really wrong... well it kinda was but like, i didn't even know these forums existed till the problem occured 3-4 more times then i decided to search for something like this to help me.

 

Now im currently dating a girl, Im 18 she's 19.. meh.. half a year difference between us not much but anyway..

 

I broke up with her twice because of difficulties... the first time because i had issues at home.. was about to move overseas... then got back together because issues were resolved... the second time was for the same reason : / .. kinda sucks...

 

but anyway... as i was saying..

 

 

before i got together with her, there was this other guy... that tried getting with her too. Like me and her talked for months over facebook, and met up.. and he like saw that i was talking to her.. and he started talking to her too, and she kept wanting me to ask her out.. but i didn't because i hate competition and the fact that she was talking to him.. even though she kept saying she loved me -.-

 

Anyways.. i was about to ask her out one day then yeah... he kisses her... and i was just heartbroken : (

 

i asked her out though.. but still upset.. then fights happened and i broke up... (fights from home not from her)

 

then got back together with her... then i had to go to greece for 2 months... which was really bad : / but she loved me soo much and i loved her...

 

anywho.. here is my problem..

 

that guy freaking decides to talk to her everydya and tells her to break up with me... like a lot.. then i send him an email.... politely.. very VERY polite, saying stop..

 

and he swears at me full on, and puts a little at the end of the email.. got me so upset... so anyway she blocked him.... before i got back from greece i broke up with her... family issues again.. AND VCE issues... that's high school btw.. lol

 

then got back together.. like the next day.. cause i love her a lot.. and she loves me...

 

the worst part is.. she added that guy back... like.. she actually ADDED him -.-

 

and she talks to him.. i told her.. wth? your talkign to him? after all he said? and she told me he wasn't that bad.. yet she still talks to him.. even this day present! she does =(

 

he wanted to meet up with her :/ she said she didnt.. but i doubt it...

 

her past is really bad : / really really bad... slutty a lot of it.. but like.. she's had a really abusive bad life with her passed boyfriends.. and im not like that.. i love her and i dont care what she does really.. just not to cheat on me

 

and i dont want to be controlling so i said it's fine to still talk to him yet it annoys me.. yet she still does =(

 

it kills me.. really does... and she hates my ex.. cause my ex keeps talking about me.. so i deleted her.. i added her back on msn htough.. but still... i freaking deleted her... my gf didnt even delete this guy off facebook, only msn.. and now she ADDS him back -.-

 

im really upset.. i don't know what to do.. someone help me?

 

Hope this is posted in the right place...

 

hope someone can help,

 

i'd appreciate it alot

 

thanks

[counterman]

First of all, you can't really get her to do something she does not want to. If she adds that guy back on her own accord then she obviously wants to talk to him. Not that she is not considering your feelings, she probably is but not to the extent that you would want. I would advise not to push her too much on this subject because the more you push this issue and tell her not to talk to him, the more she would want to. That's what I have found anyways. Push her too hard she will end up dating that other guy.

 

For future references, don't send him anything telling him to stop. He knows what he is doing and no matter what you do he won't stop. He will probably laugh at your attempt. Only your girlfriend has control of how she responds to his talk. With respect to that, she did not back you up. She did not respect your relationship and you enough to tell that guy to back off and leave her alone. In fact, she added him back. In my opinion, I don't think she is worth it.

 

Another thing is, you both have issues. You have your family problems and school, whilst she has a past that has probably affected her relationships to this day. It is unhealthy to bring all of this into a relationship.

 

If she wants to talk to him, let her. I think you should move on.

 

Best of luck!

[Vyzorr]

Thanks for replying so fast

 

don't worry i've taken your word of advice, thanks : D

 

I have also sent her an email, because i didn't mention before.. she didn't want me meeting up with a certain friend.. not an ex.. but just some girl..

and my ex as well.. she didn't want me meeting up with her...

and same goes for some of the rest of my friends,

 

so i sent her an email saying, i wont bother her anymore about it etc etc... that i love her and dont want anything to ruin this relationship...

 

etc... etc..

 

and that i'd appreciate it if she didn't post stuff from his convo.. to ours.. cause she does that.. gets me so angry

 

and i told her... that i've cut off quite a few people, (girls) because i respect how she feels.. that the relationship isn't really steady... cause of the 2 breakups regardless of how many times i said i loved her and sorry.

 

I think i did the right thing : /

 

Thanks again

[Vyzorr]

lol tottallly bad thing i just did =( sighhh shouldnt of done that -.- lol

[Bejita463]

I don't think either one of you are ready for a relationship. If you are, it certainly isn't with each other.

[Devil Dog]

lol tottallly bad thing i just did =( sighhh shouldnt of done that -.- lol

 

Doesn't sound to me like you're taking it real serious.

[Vyzorr]

just because we have one issue in the relationship, doesn't mean were both not ready for each other? wth? o.O idk how you guys/girls deal with your relationships.. but i know not everyone matches...

we do.. just this 1 person.. is annoying..

 

try having someone tell your gf/bf to dump you.. how would you feel? would you be like oh it's nothing... meh...

 

-.- i highly ****ing doubt that,

 

im pretty sure you'd hate that persons guts,

 

now what happens when your bf/gf talks to them.. everyday, ok?

 

get what i mean now?

 

so don't tell me where not ready for a relationship, because if you think that one tiny thing, like this, is going to wreck it.. well its not, and you guys need to sort your lives out i guess, because that's now how it works -.-

[Bejita463]

If that is how it looks from the inside, cool. Neither one of you are treating the other even close to the right way, based on what you've said. That isn't little, and you've described more than issue.