Is it better to appoligize right away or let things cool for a few days

[bluestraps]

I had broken up with my ex girlfriend 5 months ago. She does have a new boyfriend which seems like shes not to sure of. Recently we started talking again .

 

We were talking on the phone the last few days. Everything was going quite well. Then we started bringing up old problems and we started fighting and I know I was the one who started it , and she ended up mad at me and basicaly said to me, Its really over. So I think she was really feeling around to see if we could have a future sometime maybe later.

 

And now I think I ruined my chances. So Either I appologize now to make things at least half way better, and it would meke me feel better.

 

Or I maybe should wait a few more days to let any hostility she has

die down. I would really hate to have wasted all this time leting the breakup subside , and now to put it back who knows how far. I really want us to get to the point where something could start back up between us

 

So do I wait.... or do I do it now . Opinions or past experence please. Thanks

[Art_Critic]

She does have a new boyfriend which seems like shes not to sure of.

 

and we started fighting and I know I was the one who started it , and she ended up mad at me and basicaly said to me, Its really over.

 

So Either I appologize now to make things at least half way better, and it would meke me feel better.

 

First off.. she has another guy.. she is taken..

How would you feel if some guy or an ex was talking to your GF while you were dating her ?

 

You apologize if you did something wrong.. if you didn't do anything wrong and she got pissed at you for her issues that in this case it is up to her to apologize to you..

 

and honestly she should apologize to her current BF for starting the phone conversations back up with you..

 

She is a piece of work..

 

If I were I would let her sort her life out with the new guy and later on if things put you both back together then you can work on what went wrong..

till then ignore her..

[Ronni_W]

Not speaking specifically to your current situation but, IMO, always, always, always offer your apology as soon as you realize, think or believe it is necessary.

 

OTOH. Do not offer any apology because you hope it will influence/manipulate the other person to do anything. Apologize because you accept responsibility, and are sorry for the emotional hurt or damage to property that you caused.

[pureinheart]

Ok, this is how I think...now if I had made the mistake i have to apologize immediately so that i will feel better about me, meaning it would eat me up.

 

Being on the other end, the one being apologized to would think that if it took too long that either the individual was being hard headed and using the apology to manipulate or start a conversation, and it would not seem as sincere...just my take....good luck!

[counterman]

She is with another guy. Just let her go. It is clear she has some issues to sort out and, to be honest, I don't think you will achieve anything positive with the apology. I think when you said you thought you messed it up for you two getting back together, you really meant. Remember, she is dating someone else. You are really messing her up and yourself. Just let her be.

[Taramere]

I had broken up with my ex girlfriend 5 months ago. She does have a new boyfriend which seems like shes not to sure of. Recently we started talking again

 

Who was it who initiated that (talking again)?

[bluestraps]

My thought ,appology should come fairly quickly with in a few days .

 

Good question. I would say for clarity sake, I didnt explain the whole situation in this post . I just wondered about the appology. Basicaly I asked her to call me and to my surprise she did on Tuesday. She called me and let me go after 2 hours to talk to her new man.

 

She called me back and we talked for another almost two hours. Then she called me back on thursday for another hour 1/2 . She didnt need to call me at all. I mean If she really wanted to stay away she would. Our breakup was really nasty. Shes been contemplating her new relationship and i think it may be a way to feel us out . I know her well , she gets atached , I think shes still attached to me.