Mid-Life Crisis

[Joe Normal]

I see your point, and it's right on the money, but I'm really starting to miss the fact that I don't have a wife/family etc. It kinda hurts actually. I'm beginning to think I've wasted my life on thrill seeking and other juvenile pursuits. I think I missed the boat on what's REALLY important in life. Perhaps I really am having a MLC, only the reverse of the usual kind

 

An experience is only wasted if you got no pleasure from it and learned nothing from it. Consider that in human history, the vast majority of people did not even survive until your current age. Of those that did, most are flat broke and living in crappy 3rd world countries or the hell of the middle ages and antiquity.

 

In other words, there's no reason to whine. You lived like you did in the past for good reasons, it was right for you at the time. What people enjoy in their youth is different to what they find important later in life when they have more experience. You can change your priorities any time you feel like it - if settling down and starting a family is now important to you, then start looking for it. Just bear in mind that the best way to find something like that is not to look to hard - if you look hard, you will settle for the first mediocre acceptable woman. If you look in a disinterested way, you will pass over the mediocre ones and only settle down once you meet someone who really lights your fire.

 

Finally, any time you start feeling miserable about not having a wife and family, just go to an unhappily married couple and look at them. Or read the threads on this forum about the people who are unhappily married, getting sex twice a year, getting cheated on, cleaned out by divorce, having affairs etc. Believe me you aren't missing out on much.

 

P.S. check my skydiving thread

[Ronni_W]

As for the right girl, I thought I had, but I couldn't make it roll. That ended four months ago and it totally crushed the life out of me. It still hurts like hell even to this day.

Skydive,

I'm sorry that you're hurting. An experience like that, especially coming at a 'certain age', can definitely trigger "dramatic self-doubt and anxiety" that are generally accepted as part of a midlife crisis.

 

If this is what you're going through, it's not, though, that you'd be having one "in reverse" -- your thoughts and feelings would be exactly the same as anyone else going through an MLC. The "crisis" is that one starts to have 'bigger' questions and less certainty/fewer answers; the specific trigger or lifestyle that is being questioned is sort of a 'by the way'. (If that makes sense?)

 

Sending hugs and healing.

[skydiveaddict]

Skydive,

 

Sending hugs and healing.

 

 

Thanks very much for you kind words Ronni. It helps