Author Prarie Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 (edited) I'm not trying to beat myself up, really. Thank you for your insight, DevilInside. I do take comfort in knowing that there are other people out there who understand. I don't know if he was happy. But even when I thought I was content, I would ask him why he loved me and he would say something like "you let me play World of Warcraft without getting mad". No arguing, no worrying about bills (I did that). Being married to me was comfortable, I think. Made his life easy. And if I said somewhere earlier in this thread that I never loved him, that is not true. I did love him. I still love him. I never was romantically in love with him, and, even though it's cliche, there is a distinction. Edited February 7, 2010 by Prarie
crazycatlady Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 The whole thing sounds rather....passionless. I couldn't life that way. Some people are content and happy with being content. Nice and safe and comfortable. You sound like you need more to life. I would make sure though you teach your soon to be ex how to handle all the bills etc before leaving. Everything you handle for the two of you. It doesn't even sound like he is all that devistated over this.... CCL
Author Prarie Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 The whole thing sounds rather....passionless. I couldn't life that way. Some people are content and happy with being content. Nice and safe and comfortable. You sound like you need more to life. I would make sure though you teach your soon to be ex how to handle all the bills etc before leaving. Everything you handle for the two of you. It doesn't even sound like he is all that devistated over this.... CCL It doesn't seem like he's devastated to me either, which would be lovely, but he is a master at remaining "level"... never showing himself to be too happy or too sad, so I don't really know. We are working through the bills. He will be fine.
Devil Inside Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 And if I said somewhere earlier in this thread that I never loved him, that is not true. I did love him. I still love him. I never was romantically in love with him, and, even though it's cliche, there is a distinction. Yes there is a huge distinction. Living without that which your soul desires can feel unbearable.
Author Prarie Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Thank you if you commented on this thread. And thanks to the owners and participants of loveshack... this place has become a touchstone for me over the past year and a half and it helps immensely to be able to read so many others' stories, opinions, and sometimes, breathtaking wisdom -- which I can only hope to obtain, someday. Best, Prarie
Author Prarie Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Umm... what the hell was I thinking when I wrote this? Good lord! Moving on (with my self-respect intact)...
on1wheel Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Let me begin by saying that I do hope you finally find happiness, but what you received was your Karma for the A. An A is never the answer; regardless of the question. You should have ended it 1st, then began to look for something better suited to what you wanted. Instead, you wanted to walk from 1 relationship into the other; without the uncertainty of being alone...ever. If it had happened to you, you would not have liked the way it made you feel I assure you. I don't mean to be harsh, but I was on the other end of an A while I was @ home looking after our baby, so I know how I feel.
Author Prarie Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Bless you. Edited February 12, 2010 by Prarie Unwarranted defensiveness.
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