Lakeside_runner Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 As in the title... I mean it's ultimately all about looks on the pictures, right?
soulm8 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 It depends on what the woman is looking for... IMO, pictures are more important to men because they're such visual creatures and want to know if they'll at least be attracted. For me, a photo may catch my eye, but I'm more interested in a profile actually meeting some of my criteria. Height, age, interests and self description are more important.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I have profiles on several sites, but not really interested in dating anyone. Sounds weird but there is a guy I really like (long time friend) so waiting to see where that leads. Anyway, going back to your question, it would depend on a lot of things. Right away I eliminate: guys with kids, guys looking for sex, guys that live several hours away, obese guys. Also, this might sound mean, but guys that write terrible are also eliminated. So after all of those are eliminated I might chat with a few who seem ok and find out what interests we have. If they sound like we share the same values, interests, etc then I'll chat a while then say I want to meet them at a casual place. I've met guys at the bookstores, malls, after dinner for drinks, etc. Why waste time on a date if we don't like each other? If we seem to connect then we'll arrange a real date somewhere. A real date varies but once again since we don't know each other that well, I'll meet them at the place. To be honest, 90% of the guys I've met online didn't end up second dates. Why? many reasons. We just didn't click, or we really didn't have much in common, or there were things we were incompatible about that couldn't change (such as he wants a stay at home mom while I want to keep my career). I've pretty much given up on online dating, but still consider it if the guy I like still insists on playing games. It's a new relationship so anything can change.
CarrieT Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I've had profiles on and off every dating site for the past two years and it has been abysmal. The sites I have tried: eHarmony - one first date Plenty of Fish - two first dates, one that went to a second date and LOTS of requests for booty calls Yahoo - one first date Mate1 - nothing but requests for booty calls Match - no dates, but one guy offered to be my slave and three widowers wanted me to be the mother of children Feugo - no dates and not even a single contact Alt.com - three booty calls
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 So where would an intelligent, young, gentleman find a nice sporty and down-to-earth girl in Los Angeles?
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I've had profiles on and off every dating site for the past two years and it has been abysmal. The sites I have tried: eHarmony - one first date Plenty of Fish - two first dates, one that went to a second date and LOTS of requests for booty calls Yahoo - one first date Mate1 - nothing but requests for booty calls Match - no dates, but one guy offered to be my slave and three widowers wanted me to be the mother of children Feugo - no dates and not even a single contact Alt.com - three booty calls I had those things happen to me. In all my profiles I state no kids, yet hasn't stopped guys from replying to me because I"d make a great mother". Sure I would, to MY child, but not someone else's.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 So where do you girls get your dates from? Your circle of friends? Do you get approached in public? What is the deal?
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Many online sites mention marriages, but I don't know anyone who married off an online dating site. I know people who met on online message boards for example, but not one person I know who was on Match, eHarmony, etc ever married anyone on those sites.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 So where do you girls get your dates from? Your circle of friends? Do you get approached in public? What is the deal? Mostly people I know or places I go. The guy I currently like is someone I was friends with 15 years ago (met at a restaurant I worked at), lost contact for 10 years, then refound on Facebook. An ex of mine (who I still chat with) was a mutual friend of a high school friend. Another was related to a friend. Another was someone in an activity I was involved with.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Mostly people I know or places I go. The guy I currently like is someone I was friends with 15 years ago (met at a restaurant I worked at), lost contact for 10 years, then refound on Facebook. An ex of mine (who I still chat with) was a mutual friend of a high school friend. Another was related to a friend. Another was someone in an activity I was involved with. So in other words - to get to know more people one has to do more activities, right? Preferably co-ed, right?
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 So in other words - to get to know more people one has to do more activities, right? Preferably co-ed, right? Yes. Depending on your gender you want to join something that is typically the opposite gender. For instance I workout and I belong to several intramural sports teams at the gym. I'm into video games so I've joined video game group. For a guy, he might join a quilting guild or maybe take yoga. Now this doesn't always work, but it's fun at least and maybe that elderly person will introduce you to their grandchild.
carhill Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 In my area, within a ten year age spread around fifty (e.g. 45-55), the numbers have varied from 45 to 57 during the last month, so I would say very few women in my age group date online. The metro area I draw from is about .6MM total population. The lady I'm currently seeing is amongst that number.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I forgot to mention that many people I know met their mates at church. Good mates too.
CarrieT Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 So where do you girls get your dates from? Your circle of friends? Do you get approached in public? What is the deal? Some of us don't. I haven't had a guy approach me in ages. I don't get approached in public except to be hooted or howled at (I'm a really busty woman). My circle of friends are all gay men and they don't know any single heteros. BTW, if you guys are middle aged and looking for a HUGE selection of single women, go to craft and and art shows. I work these shows and it is 80% single women and no men. I was talking to a fellow boothy that a guy could pretty much have his pick from the women working the shows...
OnlyJake Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 So where do you girls get your dates from? Your circle of friends? Do you get approached in public? What is the deal? That's where I get all my dates from...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 How about co-ed soccer or softball or any other co-ed leagues? How about running meet-ups? Anything that involves physical activity - has anyone had any luck there?
OnlyJake Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 How about co-ed soccer or softball or any other co-ed leagues? How about running meet-ups? Anything that involves physical activity - has anyone had any luck there? You can meet women anywhere; it's all what you make of it.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Nope! You can't meet women my age (25-30) in Aikido :/ It's strictly male dominated at this level. On a side note - it doesn't feel good to be thrown by a 60 year old woman
greatgirlfriend Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Like I said, join a traditionally female activity. Even if it consists of elderly people, they might have a grandchild. That's what happened to a classmate. He joined a quilting guild with elderly women. One of these women had a granddaughter his age and they are now married. Here''s an interesting statistic I found online. That only 17% of people doing online dating actually find a long term partner or marriage. In fact it mentioned the #1 reason people do online dating is for the sex. So basically, anyone looking to find a partner online would be better off doing something else and saving money.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Here''s an interesting statistic I found online. That only 17% of people doing online dating actually find a long term partner or marriage. In fact it mentioned the #1 reason people do online dating is for the sex. So basically, anyone looking to find a partner online would be better off doing something else and saving money. Thanks for the statistic. 17% is not much... It'd be interesting to know what the age distribution and demographics are as well, like for instance 'most of the 17%' were people who are widowers/divorced and older than 40 e.g.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Thanks for the statistic. 17% is not much... It'd be interesting to know what the age distribution and demographics are as well, like for instance 'most of the 17%' were people who are widowers/divorced and older than 40 e.g. Didn't say but makes you wonder. Also didn't say if the marriages lasted since I've heard that many online relationship don't last. 17% is a low number and you'd almost have a better shot doing anything else to meet people.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Didn't say but makes you wonder. Also didn't say if the marriages lasted since I've heard that many online relationship don't last. 17% is a low number and you'd almost have a better shot doing anything else to meet people. I think they don't last since people who meet online usually don't have much in common. That is my impression... both parties want to make it work because they want a relationship so badly but it runs out of fuel pretty quick.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I think they don't last since people who meet online usually don't have much in common. That is my impression... both parties want to make it work because they want a relationship so badly but it runs out of fuel pretty quick. You could be right. I suspect that many people who do get married via online are likely older (say over 45-50) and maybe are desperate and take anyone. That's why I am usually leery of a guy who wants to rush things (I've had guys propose on second date which is creepy). Not to say this is the case with everyone but I wonder.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 You could be right. I suspect that many people who do get married via online are likely older (say over 45-50) and maybe are desperate and take anyone. That's why I am usually leery of a guy who wants to rush things (I've had guys propose on second date which is creepy). Not to say this is the case with everyone but I wonder. Ok. New place - new adventures it is! I'm just not sure about quilting... I'll try co-ed soccer and running first (I've done them here - met a lot of great people!). Well, I think also the fact that I'll have a real job and won't be a graduate student anymore will help!
greatgirlfriend Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 You're a graduate student? What are you studying? I got my MA in Communications (waste of time but another story). Yeah sports events might help, especially if looking to attract an athletic woman. Even if you don't meet a girl you might meet people who becomes friends and they might know someone.
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