Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Also carhill, could you give me some quick advice? She is stopping by here in a couple hours to get some of her stuff that she left in my room. I'm feeling pretty down today and I'm curious how I should handle this meeting with her. Is there anything I should/shouldnt do? Thanks again.
Hot Carl Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 My opinion: You were never friends. You were just waiting and hoping for more. If you hadn't felt that way for her, you wouldn't have had any time for her or her for you. Don't regret what happened. You had your chance and it didn't work out. That happens to people every day.
Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Google 'commitment phobia' and see if any of those symptoms apply to your understanding of your dynamic and her breaking up with you. It won't 'fix' anything but perhaps can help you learn more for future relationships. Also carhill, could you give me some quick advice? She is stopping by here in a couple hours to get some of her stuff that she left in my room. I'm feeling pretty down today and I'm curious how I should handle this meeting with her. Is there anything I should/shouldnt do? Thanks again.
carhill Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 How would you handle it if a friend stopped by to get their stuff? You don't have emotional 'feelings' for friends. Imagine she's stopping by to pick up her stuff and then leaving. That's the reality of it. It might be an 'act', but, IMO, it's a healthy act. Wish her well as you would a friend and send her on her way. Smile. It's about time for football
Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 How would you handle it if a friend stopped by to get their stuff? You don't have emotional 'feelings' for friends. Imagine she's stopping by to pick up her stuff and then leaving. That's the reality of it. It might be an 'act', but, IMO, it's a healthy act. Wish her well as you would a friend and send her on her way. Smile. It's about time for football Haha it definitely is almost time for a good football game. She's driving up here an hour and a half from Boston, probably expecting to "hang out and talk even more about it." She'll be getting her belongings (which are only some shower supplies and a towel) and promptly turning around to drive an hour and a half home.
carhill Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Football game/pre-game will be on. She can be happy to crack open a beer and watch. There will be no 'relationship' talk. She ended that what she broke up. Football is the priority. Remember to smile. There's a four hour pre-game on ESPN BTW, you can, if she is like any woman I've known, expect this to annoy her. That's healthy
Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Football game/pre-game will be on. She can be happy to crack open a beer and watch. There will be no 'relationship' talk. She ended that what she broke up. Football is the priority. Remember to smile. There's a four hour pre-game on ESPN BTW, you can, if she is like any woman I've known, expect this to annoy her. That's healthy Thanks for the advice. Unrelated, but does your truism in your profile imply that you think its best to "care the least" in relationships and never let yourself get too attached? Wouldn't that be a sign of commitment phobia?
carhill Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Though sometimes disputed, I find that the 'truism' is applicable in almost any form of human interaction. It does not reflect my personal feelings about how I act or participate in relationships, but is rather an acceptance of reality.
Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Football game/pre-game will be on. She can be happy to crack open a beer and watch. There will be no 'relationship' talk. She ended that what she broke up. Football is the priority. Remember to smile. There's a four hour pre-game on ESPN BTW, you can, if she is like any woman I've known, expect this to annoy her. That's healthy Well she came over and it didn't go too well. I tried to keep the pre-game the focus, and she ended up breaking the awkwardness and started talking relationship. I caved and an emotional half hour ensued. Finally I got myself together and got her to leave. I agreed to a goodbye hug with her. She wouldn't stop hugging me and giving me kisses on my cheek, all the while weeping a bit. Made me want to drive a dagger into my stomach. But she is gone now and I can finally start a solid healing process.
carhill Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Yep, I was the same way when young. Couldn't resist Anyway, done and done. First order of business is to cultivate a male friendship which doesn't leave your TV begging for viewers. You shouldn't be alone today. That's for old farts like me. Your 'friend' has all her girlfriends to b!tch with and weep with and 'get over' you. You need a similar support system, for the future. A best male friend is invaluable. Here's the secret..... keep them as a priority for yourself even when you have a girlfriend or wife. Don't let them slide just because there's some hot chick taking up your time. OK, get on with the game. I hate football
Author nes9 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Yep, I was the same way when young. Couldn't resist Anyway, done and done. First order of business is to cultivate a male friendship which doesn't leave your TV begging for viewers. You shouldn't be alone today. That's for old farts like me. Your 'friend' has all her girlfriends to b!tch with and weep with and 'get over' you. You need a similar support system, for the future. A best male friend is invaluable. Here's the secret..... keep them as a priority for yourself even when you have a girlfriend or wife. Don't let them slide just because there's some hot chick taking up your time. OK, get on with the game. I hate football Haha yeah seriously. Enough pre-game crap already. Luckily, one of my best friends lives in my apartment here with me. I have a couple other really close friends too. I just turned 23 so I guess I still have a lot of learning to do with this stuff. I've always kept my friends close and I agree, I couldn't get through stuff like this without them. I also appreciate the support and advice you and others on this board give me.
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