schmopio Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 So can someone please help me not be a a crazy loser -- the last time i posted was last year when i found out my exbf was cheating on me... since then he convinced me to get back with him - took me on a family vacation etc - then what happened i caught him cheating again. He did everything in his right mind to deny it - even involving crawling out of a window to pretend he was not home the other lady. The time i decided to get back together with him was about the time when a good friend of mine died in a car crash - three month later ex cheated on my again - it was over. two weeks later he jumped into a relationship with a girl who was pursuing him (not the the TWO he cheated on me with) and apparently convinced hm to leave me to be with her. The day he cheated on me he cried and told me how he cant picture dying with out me (****ed up). i know the loss of one of my best friends due to the crash had to do with me making poor decisions and getting back with the cheater. But anyway my problem is its been four months - somedays i am fine. I have only kissed one fellow since. I have completely gone NC no facebook, twitter etc. but some days its still ****ing gets to me - really bad. last night i had four glasses of red wine and bought a pack of cigarettes (regression for me) and i looked as his facebook and twitter (he is unblocked) and saw all his messages with his new girl..it killed me. why is he making it work with her and not me? he had some sexual issues too - why not with her? i feel like i could almost cut off my hands. also this girl is someone he dumped in the past because he wanted to be with me..i also found out he moved away from this neighborhood and into the neighborhood that i was going to move into when my lease is up to get away from this neighborhood where all our memories are together. arg! currently my friend's (who passed away) girlfriend (my other best friend) is moving out of this city to help herself heal. I am proud of her - but i just cant cope with saying good by to all these people. its like one leaves every three months these days. - probably why i stalked the ex. anyway whats wrong with me - how do i deal??- i want a life that settled but everthing is revolving and hurtful. I also have stop frequenting placed i love (such as music shows) to not run into my ex and his new girl. BUt i want my life back and do things that i love. the problem is we have the same taste in doing things especially music -which is how we met and got close. Link to post Share on other sites
single Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 (edited) Move on that is how simple it is, never posted my story here but the basics involve ex girlfriend cheating then dumping me before xmas. You have to keep going forward get out and meet old friends or get out and make some new ones. Your ex bf is moving on isn't he having a good time with his new girl maybe it will all crash and burn for him or maybe they will live happy ever after but who cares you shouldn't you need to look after yourself and get busy living again. You will find love again one day probably when you least expect it, I felt like rubbish after my breakup zero confidence in myself and felt like a loser but I took it one day at a time worked out got in better shape which after 2 months I am in the best shape in the last 10 yrs. Got in touch with old friend made a lot of new ones as well male and female and am just enjoying life again and people notice this such as females never had as many chat me up in my life get asked out lots went on a few dates but no really into starting another relationship. You need to do this you are not a loser you just met a idiot who is not worth 1 minute in your thoughts keep moving on with your life because the alternative is what lay down and sob yourself to misery no thanks. You will be fine one day I promise. Edited February 6, 2010 by single Link to post Share on other sites
Author schmopio Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 but how do act when you see them again? how do you stop comparing people to them? Link to post Share on other sites
single Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Well it's a bit different for me as i have a child with her so i have to see her and her new man as well which is worse than seeing your ex out and about. You will always compare them to new people but then again that is probably a sign that you should just be on your own and look after yourself. Talk about being a loser i went on a date last night and was told that my Scottish accent annoyed her and that was the end of that night. One day you will just meet someone and he will be a passing memory. Link to post Share on other sites
gavinus Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 (Broad generalization) All of us on this site who have been hurt/used/abused by the people we cared about have one thing in common....we have been changed by the experience. We have grown because of the pain and loss, whereas the people who have hurt us generally speaking will never change, they will repeat the same mistakes over and over again. You are better off without your ex. Use the time you have to focus on you and you alone. Your ex has no idea what you are up to, so keep it that way, stay strong and do things that make you feel valued rather than focusing on somebody who did not value you, you are worth so much more, Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Well it's a bit different for me as i have a child with her so i have to see her and her new man as well which is worse than seeing your ex out and about. You will always compare them to new people but then again that is probably a sign that you should just be on your own and look after yourself. Talk about being a loser i went on a date last night and was told that my Scottish accent annoyed her and that was the end of that night. One day you will just meet someone and he will be a passing memory. Wow, that's harsh, people can be so rude! Hope you're okay Link to post Share on other sites
single Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Wow, that's harsh, people can be so rude! Hope you're okay Aye i'm fine just confirmed to me that i should not date for a while, well not English girls who hate Scottish accents anyway As for the OP hope you are feeling a bit better today. Link to post Share on other sites
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