Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Yes I'm thinking about doing it. I want the person I love to know there is someone out there in this cold dark world who still loves them and thinks about them daily. Anyone else doing this?
D-Lish Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 No, I wouldn't do it. Even if I was head over heels in love with them, pining for them daily- they won't hear from me.
Trialbyfire Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 No, I wouldn't do it. Even if I was head over heels in love with them, pining for them daily- they won't hear from me.Yup, same here!
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 I broke up w/ him You broke up with him or vice versa?
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 I've been thinking about it and I should just move on with my life.
USMCHokie Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I wouldn't ever do this in a million years...never... But I don't think my ex even remembers who I am...and we were planning on getting married...
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Why? Is it a pride issue or what? I wouldn't ever do this in a million years...never... But I don't think my ex even remembers who I am...and we were planning on getting married...
Trialbyfire Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I broke up w/ himIf you broke up with him, don't you think this would be a bit cruel to remind him of you?
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 If you broke up with him, don't you think this would be a bit cruel to remind him of you? No, I want him back and he says no.
Trialbyfire Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 No, I want him back and he says no.If you love him, then leave him alone so he can sort through his feelings. As long as he knows you want him back, the ball's in his court.
USMCHokie Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Why? Is it a pride issue or what? Not a pride issue...she wanted time and space...and after the month and a half of shameless begging and pleading, I gave her my word that I wouldn't bother her ever again...I left it up to her to decide if she wanted to ever talk to me again... I'm a man of my word, and at this point, it's pretty clear she doesn't want to talk to me again...I doubt she even remembers me... So no V-Day card... But in your case as the dumper, it might send the wrong message...and as trialbyfire said, it's just plain mean to rub it in his face that he isn't with you...
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 true. He knows I want him back..so I need to move on. But I sent him an Xmas gift and he was really happy I did. :/
Golden-73 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I am sending my ex a card. I actually hand made a card I know she will love. I will be dropping it off at her office, and have someone there bring it to her.
whichwayisup Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 You broke up with him, it's unfair of you to send him a V-card. It'll send him mixed messages and hurt him. Why send it on Vday? You want him to know that you still love him, but it's the WRONG day to do that. Vday is for couples who are together, not ones who are broken up and apart. Sure, it might make YOU feel better, to tell him how you feel, how you still love him, always will.. But will it make HIM feel good on Vday to get a card from his ex?? Please, think about this for a while ask yourself the 'real' reason why you want to do this.
whichwayisup Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 No, I want him back and he says no. Then the card is a form of manipulation.. Because of V-day. Not malciously, of course.. Back off and let him contact you if he wants. You want him back, he said no. Respect that and leave him be..
Whitefox123 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I'm doing it! We've broken up with each other multiple times. Not sure where we stand now....but I just want him to know I still love him and he's still on my mind. he's been acting like he wants to get back together (despite him saying this last break up was 'for good') so I am hoping it'll give him the push he needs to really try to make things work this time! Good luck!
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Hey so my ex has always been the type where if we got into a fight and it was my fault, he LOVED and NEEDED me to really kiss his ass to make things better. I hated admitting I was wrong so it was hard for me. He loved the attention, thought it was necessary for me to apologize and to make him feel better. He LOVES attention...so I am going back and forth wondering if this will push him towards me or away from me? Should I send it, "your secret admirorer?" or however you spell that?I'm doing it! We've broken up with each other multiple times. Not sure where we stand now....but I just want him to know I still love him and he's still on my mind. he's been acting like he wants to get back together (despite him saying this last break up was 'for good') so I am hoping it'll give him the push he needs to really try to make things work this time! Good luck!
Whitefox123 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 hmmm...you could go that route, but I'd imagine he'd figure out it's from you anyway. Do what you feel is right though.
name witheld Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I thought about it but no. Supposed to be in NC, until I'm healed. Can't risk reaching out to her and forcing her to contact me.
CaliGuy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Yes I'm thinking about doing it. I want the person I love to know there is someone out there in this cold dark world who still loves them and thinks about them daily. Anyone else doing this? That would be horribly bad for you. But....do what you must. My exes birthday is Friday and Valentine's is Sunday. She's getting NOTHING from me.
ginyi1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Isnt sending a V-Day card part of her effort to try to get the ex back? We have been told that nothing short of a grovellling dumper will make us take back our exes..so isnt this part of what she should be doing to get him back. Yes he said no, but if she backs out now saying the ball is in his court then he may construe it as a half hearted attempt to get him back. I wish I have the courage to send my ex a V card but i'm too afraid of rejection now...
CaliGuy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Isnt sending a V-Day card part of her effort to try to get the ex back? We have been told that nothing short of a grovellling dumper will make us take back our exes..so isnt this part of what she should be doing to get him back. Yes he said no, but if she backs out now saying the ball is in his court then he may construe it as a half hearted attempt to get him back. I wish I have the courage to send my ex a V card but i'm too afraid of rejection now... Sending a card isn't groveling. Sending a card is like poking a feeler out there to see if the ground is firm. If my "dumper" sent me a V-Day card I'd be like "Uhh, so what?!" and probably toss it. It's a card, not an apology or beating down my door. Women are very subtle with these things. Men like clear, concise and straight-forward answers, not more questions, when it comes to issues like these. And if she's already tried and he said NO then nothing short of beating his front door down is going to work (IMHO) and even then, he may still say no. And if that happens I'd say it's time to move on.
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I wouldn't ever do this in a million years...never... But I don't think my ex even remembers who I am...and we were planning on getting married... I'm sorry man. I didn't know this part... And back to the OP... I hope she doesn't contact me. I took Lishy's advice and unblocked her to truly show myself I don't care anymore. I haven't broke NC nor do I ever plan to. EVEN IF she contacts me. I love my ex, but I am not IN LOVE with her. I can never have the woman in my life.. I do not want to provide for her or her for me... One day, I will look back upon my feelings and laugh... (i hope..)
soconfusedreally Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Should I send it, "your secret admirorer?" or however you spell that? I thought about doing the same thing. Or not signing it and just sending the card (it was one he would know who it was from). But in talking it though with a friend she said that was kind of 'stalkerish'. It kind of shocked me when she said it but...then I realized she was kind of right. I am not sending a card. However, he broke up with me. I still love him with my whole heart but I have told him that (very early on in our breakup). I have to realize that if we ever get back together HE will have to come to the conclusion that HE messed up in letting me go and HE wants me back. Even if you broke up with him, you have told him you messed up and he's making a choice to stay broken up. Even if it is just pride or something, you need to allow him time to get over it. Once you've told him how you feel, it becomes his choice. It sounds like you already have. Give him time to figure out what he wants.
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