tincanman99 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Maybe I am brain dead or just chronically oblivious but since I have lost the weight I have women checking me out non-stop. Some make repeated heavy duty eye contact and others try to chat me up even though they are married or involved (ala the gym bunny). For example, there is another woman in my other class. She looks either Hispanic, Italian or Indian. Olive skin, long dark hair, very pretty and speaks normal English, no accent of any kind. Every time I take the class she literally spends the entire class watching me and making eye contact. I usually try something basic like say hi . I figure hi is non-threatening that way they get used to you. But even after seeing you all the time and repeatedly saying hi, you get nothing. So after a while I just stop bothering with them. Meanwhile they continue to make eye contact. I dont get it. Someone want to explain? Do I have to be more aggressive? Than there is the woman that is married and has her husband there. Flirts with me non stop even though she is old enough to be my mother. Meanwhile her husband is standing 10 feet from me. I even do the uh-huh when she is talking but she persists. Its almost like I have target pasted on my backside and they wont leave me alone.
Kristine Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Congratulations on the weight loss! Well you're obviously attractive and need to be making the moves on the women who are unattached who you are also attracted to. Yes get beyond the "hi" stage. Maybe walk over ask her name, she if she'll start up a conversation with you, and then ask her to coffee or something. Good luck!
Greenpeacer Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Sounds like you worked hard to keep the weight off. Enjoy. Just ignore the other women and Say Hi to the Husbands or BFS. To make it clear you know they have someone and you are not going to step into their relationship and move on. That should stop it if not I'd talk to the teacher or go to the single girls section and flirt there ! My suggestion- try yoga and meditation!!
sally4sara Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 So you're asking why women ogle the men they find attractive? Maybe they only ogle and not pursue because the are in a relationship or are waiting on you to ask for their number? Or are you asking why the married ones you listed hit on you? You'd probably need to ask them..... Why do women do what? I'm not sure what you're asking, but congrats on reaching a healthier weight.
meerkat stew Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 As far as women looking at you, IME, a man is either "all the way in" or "all the way out" where women checking out in public is concerned. Congrats on being all the way in, which is where you need to be to begin meeting available prospects regularly. Once you have a slate of prospects lined up, you won't ponder their motivations, but will just approach every one who ogles you and let come what may. At that point, you have won the attraction game every man plays with himself as the opponent.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Its almost like I have target pasted on my backside and they wont leave me alone. You poor man! Yes, you need to be more assertive if you are interested. The women make eye contact to let you know they are interested. If you only respond with polite "hi's," they assume you are not and won't try any further. They will still look, because it's fun. Congratulations on the weight loss.
Satisfaction Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Its almost like I have target pasted on my backside and they wont leave me alone. Ha ha ha. This is what it feels like all the time to be a woman. Just try and ignore them and try and focus on the hot girls you like
sagetalk Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Is this a bragging contest or something? I've had cheerleaders flirt with me, gay men, married women. Who cares if their starring or why. The question is, are you glad they are starring at you? If you are, then talk to them, ask them their name get their phone number. If not, ignore it and move on.
Author tincanman99 Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 No bragging, I guess the point of my rant (sorry about the ranting) is they make eye contact so I take that as interest and when I say hi they basically shut down . Than they continue doing it. Because if you dont respond I wont take it any further. The attention does freak me out at times. BTW, what does being "all the way in" mean?
carhill Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 One explanation is they are checking the functionality of their 'game'. It's best to check the game on someone whom doesn't matter. BTDT, laughed at myself many times for 'believing' their suggested interest.
2sunny Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 IF you are interested - you basically need to ask them out. men don't get this basic fact much anymore. it's simple - if you ask and they are interested and available, they will say yes - if they're not, they will say no. the more you ask, the better the odds are that one you're interested in might say yes. obviously, if you aren't willing to ask - you have no chance of getting started with them. just ask!
nih Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 IF you are interested - you basically need to ask them out. men don't get this basic fact much anymore.In these days of equal rights why is it still seen as the mans job to initiate the relationship? , isn't this just another leftover from the Victorian age?
carhill Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Equal rights never implied equal responsibilities
nimby Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 If you catch a woman checking you out, and you say "hi", and she shuts down TOTALLY, then she's just embarrassed that she got caught checking you out. But - if she responds to the 'hi', then talk about something innocuous, like the machine you're using at the gym, or something else in the environment. If she's interested, she'll keep up her end of the conversation. If you get past four or five rejoinders and get into a real conversation, then you might have an opportunity to ask her if she's single. That's actually a better question than "would you like to get a cup of coffee", because she'll be flattered that you asked if she's available, yet if she doesn't want to spend time getting to know you better than she has so far, she can say "Yes, I'm seeing someone", and you can part on friendly terms with no humiliation. If you go for the "get coffee" gambit, and she's not interested in you, then she has to make up an excuse, it gets awkward, and you can't circle back later if you see her again. Maybe she IS seeing someone, but in a few months time maybe that guy will be history, and you'll see her again and a game will be on that you thought was over... instead of having already chalked up an outright rejection of a coffee or drink. Women hate to ask men out. Women want a guy who has a little bit of throwdown, and if they've spent time having a five or ten minute conversation with a guy, doing the right body language, being engaged and open and amusing, and then he just walks away without going for it in SOME way - asking if she has a boyfriend or whatever tack he wants to take - she just walks away thinking she just wasn't hot enough for him to spend more time with.
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