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What to make of this...online dating scenario


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Posted

Ok, I went out with a girl a few months back that I met on Match.com. Things were ok, but not great. I think we went out 4 times. At that point, I essentially wanted to call it off, so I just went into no contact mode. She didn't try anything aggressive...just e-mailed 1-2 times, got sent to voicemail once, and didn't bug me again...until today. Earlier today, when I was on match.com, she sent me a message, essentially saying, "hey, I saw you online, so I figured I see how you're doing".

 

What should I make of this? Is she still interested? Is she actually just curious and/or bored and she actually happened to see me online? Is this sad or pathetic, or prety typical and sweet, showing that she cares? I'm not really sure what to make of it...kind of weird, but kind of nice. Would she haev any expectations if I responded?

 

Just curious to see what people think, or to hear from people who have had similar things happen to them and what your take was on the situation. Cheers!

Posted

Why are you acting flaky? Either call it off or don't call it off. Don't say, I want to call it off, and then act like your interested. That is weird and lame.

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Posted

I haven't responded...just saying she contacted me. It's been 1.5-2 months since she's heard anything from me....I haven't given her mixed signals. I just find it a bit curious that she wrote. Moreover, it seemed like she was just wondering how I have been doing, and noting that she saw me. I'm currently just sitting on the message - any thoughts on my questions in the first post?

Posted

It sounds like you still aren't interested, but may be teetering on the concept of "grasping straws." I would respond, but don't do much more than just acknowledge the fact that she wrote you to check in. She'll get the message behind the message then hopefully move on.

Posted

There's no hard and fast rule, but generally, after three dates with someone, a polite blowoff is in order if you aren't going to call them any more. She obviously wants more dates. If you don't just tell her so.

Posted

Yes, she is interested. No, she isn't contacting you simply because she saw you online. Yes, she would have expectations if you responded dishonestly. She obviously wants to know why you disappeared so tell her you are not interested.

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