hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Ok so the last I heard was a text from him(xMM) saying how he had lost everything(sorry, his words were, everyone has lost) and this is just the way it has to be...blah blah, then this morning his W text saying 'can I ring you?' I say no I'm at work. I have been angry and TBH still am but I've not been upset. My friends have been like 'are you ok?' I'm like yeah, no emotions what so ever! I guess I just thought he'd pushed me to the point of truly not giving a sh*t!! So tonight, my son has gone to his dads, my friends came round and we laughed and drank some wine(to much) and I was fine. They left and it was like a wave that just came over me, the tears just came from nowhere!! Hence the thread! I'm back with it now and the tears have stopped but I just needed to get this out!!
OpenBook Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Yeah, it comes in waves. And it's going to keep happening for awhile. But if you just hold on, lean on your friends (like you're doing), and just keep on going, it will get better. Little by little. Until you're off again, up and running on your own steam and living life to the fullest. <<hugs>>
fooled once Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Ok so the last I heard was a text from him(xMM) saying how he had lost everything(sorry, his words were, everyone has lost) and this is just the way it has to be...blah blah, then this morning his W text saying 'can I ring you?' I say no I'm at work. I have been angry and TBH still am but I've not been upset. My friends have been like 'are you ok?' I'm like yeah, no emotions what so ever! I guess I just thought he'd pushed me to the point of truly not giving a sh*t!! So tonight, my son has gone to his dads, my friends came round and we laughed and drank some wine(to much) and I was fine. They left and it was like a wave that just came over me, the tears just came from nowhere!! Hence the thread! I'm back with it now and the tears have stopped but I just needed to get this out!! Cry, cry and cry some more. Ignore their texts and calls and DO NOT call his W back. Let them deal with their marriage. Stay out of it, okay? If you must respond to her, respond that you are done and you ask that she not contact you anymore.
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Yeah, it comes in waves. And it's going to keep happening for awhile. But if you just hold on, lean on your friends (like you're doing), and just keep on going, it will get better. Little by little. Until you're off again, up and running on your own steam and living life to the fullest. <<hugs>> Thanks OB, the thing is I'm not sat thinking about him, wishing things were different and even after my tears I'm like 'f*ck him' I have no desire to get in touch with him, I don't care what he thinks or what he is doing. He has hurt me so much it is past any state of repair and I don't even want to tell him this, I'm numb, I feel nothing.
OpenBook Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Thanks OB, the thing is I'm not sat thinking about him, wishing things were different and even after my tears I'm like 'f*ck him' I have no desire to get in touch with him, I don't care what he thinks or what he is doing. He has hurt me so much it is past any state of repair and I don't even want to tell him this, I'm numb, I feel nothing. Good. Why should you think about him? He's not worth ONE MORE SECOND of your precious time or energy.
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Cry, cry and cry some more. Ignore their texts and calls and DO NOT call his W back. Let them deal with their marriage. Stay out of it, okay? If you must respond to her, respond that you are done and you ask that she not contact you anymore. They both know I want nothing more to do with them or their M. I really don't care anymore FO, honest I dont. I've just had enough with the whole thing. Him playing his games, her desperate to keep him, they are welcome to each other. I assume he sent the text expecting me to respond....I didn't. I assume she asked if she could call to say..we are making our M work blah blah.... I have truly had enough of the both of them and I really don't care what they do or dont do. I've heard nothing from them today so hopefully that is it.
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Good. Why should you think about him? He's not worth ONE MORE SECOND of your precious time or energy. I know and I'm getting there. I've been so much better this time and i think its because i can finally see him for what he is......
fooled once Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 But honey, you DO care, which is why you have tears. ((hug)) It hurts, it sucks and it is maddening. I hope in the coming days you stay strong, you start your healing process and you begin to move forward.
Confused4Now Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 But honey, you DO care, which is why you have tears. ((hug)) It hurts, it sucks and it is maddening. I hope in the coming days you stay strong, you start your healing process and you begin to move forward.I'm sorry for your pain (((HUGS))) I'm a man I have to say in 2008 I don't remember crying as much as I did that year. OH IT WAS HORRIBLE. Let to all out....
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 But honey, you DO care, which is why you have tears. ((hug)) It hurts, it sucks and it is maddening. I hope in the coming days you stay strong, you start your healing process and you begin to move forward. Obviously I care but its not the same kind of caring. I care for me now and how I feel. I always used to worry about xMM and how he was feeling and the pain he was going through. I now see he wasn't feeling any pain at all, he was thinking about himself and he always will.
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 I'm sorry for your pain (((HUGS))) I'm a man I have to say in 2008 I don't remember crying as much as I did that year. OH IT WAS HORRIBLE. Let to all out.... I think its taken sometime to realise but the tears I've cried this time are actually for me, the fact that I've been so stupid to put 2yrs of my life on hold for a man that really didnt love me....Ouch
Crazyforhim Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Sorry you're hurting ((hugs)). Getting out of the relationship is painful enough but I can't imagine the extra misery you must be going through with both of them still trying to contact you! Guess the only poetic justice you have here is to know even if they are working on the M, it obviously is NOT going well at all since they seem to keep trying to pull you right back in the middle of the mess. Ignore them both and just sit back and watch. They'll eventually self-destruct it on their own LOL
Author hopeless4u Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Sorry you're hurting ((hugs)). Getting out of the relationship is painful enough but I can't imagine the extra misery you must be going through with both of them still trying to contact you! Guess the only poetic justice you have here is to know even if they are working on the M, it obviously is NOT going well at all since they seem to keep trying to pull you right back in the middle of the mess. Ignore them both and just sit back and watch. They'll eventually self-destruct it on their own LOL Yep this is how I have always got through things before. I always thought 'they're not right for eachother' but he has proved this time he will happily hurt me to save her so those thoughts were and are obviously worthless. I have finally come to realise that he will do anything to save his ass. He has always told me he isn't happy in his M but he obviously is.
Chingaling Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 (edited) My youngest just experienced her first broken heart. Her Prince turned out to be a frog - or maybe a toad - which one has the warts? She moved away from home over an hour drive to be with him, and almost exactly a year to the day (common-law anniversary) he practically threw her out the door - she lost her home, her job and her heart in one fell swoop. It's been 3 months, and she is doing well - she has more good days now than bad, but the thing that keeps her going is music - she rocks this house down - an eclectic combo of rock, country, blues and pop - and sings along. It's almost constant - when she is in the shower, drying her hair, on the computer, doing laundry or cleaning (?) her room. The music elevates her and empowers her - I have to laugh sometimes at some of her choices! They are usually "chuck you" songs by female artists - there are lots out there. Maybe you (or a good friend) could make yourself a Chuck You CD to blast... I can ask my daughter for her playlist and send it to you to give you a start... Hugs to you - I know you are still hurting, and I hope that you feel better really really soon. Edited February 6, 2010 by Chingaling typo or 2
Hazyhead Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Ok so the last I heard was a text from him(xMM) saying how he had lost everything(sorry, his words were, everyone has lost) and this is just the way it has to be...blah blah, then this morning his W text saying 'can I ring you?' I say no I'm at work. I have been angry and TBH still am but I've not been upset. My friends have been like 'are you ok?' I'm like yeah, no emotions what so ever! I guess I just thought he'd pushed me to the point of truly not giving a sh*t!! So tonight, my son has gone to his dads, my friends came round and we laughed and drank some wine(to much) and I was fine. They left and it was like a wave that just came over me, the tears just came from nowhere!! Hence the thread! I'm back with it now and the tears have stopped but I just needed to get this out!! (((hugs H4U))) I have nothing constructive to add at all. I just hope you are ok. Let it out. Let your friends catch you. I'm thinking of you xx
pureinheart Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Ok so the last I heard was a text from him(xMM) saying how he had lost everything(sorry, his words were, everyone has lost) and this is just the way it has to be...blah blah, then this morning his W text saying 'can I ring you?' I say no I'm at work. I have been angry and TBH still am but I've not been upset. My friends have been like 'are you ok?' I'm like yeah, no emotions what so ever! I guess I just thought he'd pushed me to the point of truly not giving a sh*t!! So tonight, my son has gone to his dads, my friends came round and we laughed and drank some wine(to much) and I was fine. They left and it was like a wave that just came over me, the tears just came from nowhere!! Hence the thread! I'm back with it now and the tears have stopped but I just needed to get this out!! LOL...yep I break out the wine too...but can barely type so you are doing good...oh what I do is get a flash of encouragement and call my daughter usually 3am or so my time and leave messages (phone is in LR so am not bothering anyone...this usually goes on for a half an hour or so...telling her about the deep things in life and how we can be better people...I started doing this to exMM/SO (after the other day he is on my sh*t list....top).....oh I really can't type if I drink beer and wine together...used to mix it together. I mostly drink when I'm stressed. Like one of the replies stated, that you will go back and forth...I do and it's very obvious....I just feel so stuck right now...like I can't move to the right or to the left due to some business matters that are keeping me in a bondage type feeling. I want to loose 20lbs, fit into my cool pants and be 20 again. I am a nice drunk though...my daughter cries, I get (I can't spell the freaking word)philosifical...(I had a beer)...ok this is it for me..good night...hopeless, my thoughts are with you....
pureinheart Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 My youngest just experienced her first broken heart. Her Prince turned out to be a frog - or maybe a toad - which one has the warts? She moved away from home over an hour drive to be with him, and almost exactly a year to the day (common-law anniversary) he practically threw her out the door - she lost her home, her job and her heart in one fell swoop. It's been 3 months, and she is doing well - she has more good days now than bad, but the thing that keeps her going is music - she rocks this house down - an eclectic combo of rock, country, blues and pop - and sings along. It's almost constant - when she is in the shower, drying her hair, on the computer, doing laundry or cleaning (?) her room. The music elevates her and empowers her - I have to laugh sometimes at some of her choices! They are usually "chuck you" songs by female artists - there are lots out there. Maybe you (or a good friend) could make yourself a Chuck You CD to blast... I can ask my daughter for her playlist and send it to you to give you a start... Hugs to you - I know you are still hurting, and I hope that you feel better really really soon. Ok one more...couldn't pass this one up....BREAK OUT THE SOUNDS.....YHEAH....I'm an old rock and roller, blues,pop what ever...if it rocks...it rolls!!!!!!! I love concerts...went to the Stones, Cal Jam and all the others....
OpenBook Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 It's been 3 months, and she is doing well - she has more good days now than bad, but the thing that keeps her going is music - she rocks this house down - an eclectic combo of rock, country, blues and pop - and sings along. It's almost constant - when she is in the shower, drying her hair, on the computer, doing laundry or cleaning (?) her room. The music elevates her and empowers her... Never underestimate the power of the human spirit!! Thanks for sharing this uplifting story, Chingaling - my hat's off to you and your DD! I wish there were more people in the world like you, so maybe I could hang out with them and their outlook/habits could rub off on me. I tend to "wallow in it" like a pig in slop, one of the worst things to do - so when I put in my two cents of advice to posters like hopeless4u I always say the same thing - urge them to keep moving. You and your D make it into an art form!!
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 ((((((((Big Hugs))))))))) This really sucks H4U...I'm sorry that you have to go through this. So today, its time to change the play list on that ipod from sad songs to upbeat songs or even angry or hate songs. Maybe some Disturbed(that's what I listen too), anything that has the singers sounding like body parts are being hit with hammers and they're in great pain Music heals. The sad stuff helps you get all your emotions out and really feel the grief, but don't dwell on that. The happy stuff will help you move on. Find the happy stuff. Find the happy you. Maybe you should be "hopeful4me" from now on??? Its all about you. I know all this stuff is blah blah and hard to imagine and easier said than done but "Better days are sure to come". Hang in there and lean on your friends here and those around you. We're all cheering for you!!! You will get through this!!!!
Samantha0905 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I'm sorry. I've been feeling somewhat like you do -- numb and then tears, with a good time with friends thrown in sometimes. I head for wine also and it seems when I'm drinking is when the tears come the most. Try to think of it as therapeutic. It helps to get it out. I hope you feel better soon.
Hazyhead Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I'm sorry. I've been feeling somewhat like you do -- numb and then tears, with a good time with friends thrown in sometimes. I head for wine also and it seems when I'm drinking is when the tears come the most. Try to think of it as therapeutic. It helps to get it out. I hope you feel better soon. It might well be me tonight. So far, I've been ok... mostly, but there's still so much inside me and you're right, not that I condone it for every night or anything, but the drinking with friends can be therepeutic. Let's hope! H4U, I hope you're feeling ok today.
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