Bleed Internal Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 As detailed in this thread, I'm pretty weak for my ex. After one week of what I wanted to be eternal NC, she texted me "can we have sex?" in the middle of the night and I had her over for just that. I'd done well ignoring her calls and texts all week, but she made an offer I couldn't refuse. Now, I've done that a million times and I usually beat myself up for it. Not this time. In an effort to avoid sulking around my apartment, struggling to maintain NC, I went out partying with a group of friends. That night out turned out to be exactly what I needed to restore some of my confidence and give me hope that I can get over my ex. I'm a fun, good-looking guy but I one of my issues is how much I crave attention from women, although you wouldn't be able to easily tell because I don't carry myself in a "weak" or "needy" manner. No matter how much I have going for myself, attention from women validates it for me. It gives me a "yes, you are awesome" stamp of approval. I do think highly of myself but I'm definitely a bit insecure and always looking for reassurance. I know I need to work on that. With all of that said, the other night was the best coping mechanism I could have asked for. I had a great time with a group of guys that have turned out to be my closest friends on campus this year, since my best friend who used to be my roommate is living in another city. Some drinks and companionship was all I was looking for in the first place. Just so happens that we got to the bar and I made eye contact with this beautiful blonde girl early on. I found her later (she was British! major turn-on) and we eventually wound up at my place. So yeah, I broke NC. It's annoying but no real conflict has come of it so whatever. I'm especially not worried when I have a new girl to think about. It's like every terrible feeling I experienced with my ex last week never existed. I always come here to whine and complain so I figured I'd post something about how good of a space I'm in right now. I hope it lasts.
GrayClouds Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 As detailed in this thread, I'm pretty weak for my ex. After one week of what I wanted to be eternal NC, she texted me "can we have sex?" in the middle of the night and I had her over for just that. I'd done well ignoring her calls and texts all week, but she made an offer I couldn't refuse. Now, I've done that a million times and I usually beat myself up for it. Not this time. In an effort to avoid sulking around my apartment, struggling to maintain NC, I went out partying with a group of friends. That night out turned out to be exactly what I needed to restore some of my confidence and give me hope that I can get over my ex. I'm a fun, good-looking guy but I one of my issues is how much I crave attention from women, although you wouldn't be able to easily tell because I don't carry myself in a "weak" or "needy" manner. No matter how much I have going for myself, attention from women validates it for me. It gives me a "yes, you are awesome" stamp of approval. I do think highly of myself but I'm definitely a bit insecure and always looking for reassurance. I know I need to work on that. With all of that said, the other night was the best coping mechanism I could have asked for. I had a great time with a group of guys that have turned out to be my closest friends on campus this year, since my best friend who used to be my roommate is living in another city. Some drinks and companionship was all I was looking for in the first place. Just so happens that we got to the bar and I made eye contact with this beautiful blonde girl early on. I found her later (she was British! major turn-on) and we eventually wound up at my place. So yeah, I broke NC. It's annoying but no real conflict has come of it so whatever. I'm especially not worried when I have a new girl to think about. It's like every terrible feeling I experienced with my ex last week never existed. I always come here to whine and complain so I figured I'd post something about how good of a space I'm in right now. I hope it lasts. Yep here comes grayclouds to piss on your parade... Unless your over your EX being with someone else is just a distraction from you pain and the personal growth that can come out of it. And in your own words there is some important work to do: No matter how much I have going for myself, attention from women validates it for me. It gives me a "yes, you are awesome" stamp of approval. I understand what you are saying but it is important to discover that no other person can validate you. It needs to come from within yourself. As hard as break-up are, they do create the opportunity to become a better more confident person. It is usually hard work we rather avoid but the rewards of keeping focused and doing are important.
Recommended Posts