bennjerrys Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Hi everyone i am new to these forums so i hope i have posted this in the right place, but basically my mum is getting married tomorrow and i as her son am giving her away (my grandad is very old) and was wondering if you could tell me what you think of my speech?... Good Evening, I just want to tell you both how honoured I am today to sit at this table with you on this special day... On behalf of the everyone here and myself I just want to say mum how beautiful you look today, it truly is a special day for all of us. I have prepared a little joke... An elderly couple return from a wedding and are in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on the couch, the elderly woman looks at her husband and says, ‘I remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.’ The old man, feeling obligated, reaches over and gently places his hand upon hers. Then she says, ‘I also remember when you used to kiss me every time you had the opportunity.’ The old man, again feeling obligated, leans over and gives her a peck on the cheek. The elderly woman then says, ‘And I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.’ This time the old man stands up and begins to walk out of the room. His wife asks, ‘Was it something I said? Where are you going’? The old man looks back at her and replies, ‘I’m going to get my teeth.’ I love you both very much; you are two very dear people to me. In the past few years I have seen you both grow as individuals and flourish as a couple. Separately you both are very special, remarkable people, but together you are complete. Me and my mum have always been close, which is why I was so heartbroken to give her away today, I thought I could of least got a couple of quid for her! But seriously, today we celebrate everything you have found in each other - A best friend - A teacher and a true partner for like. I would like you all to please raise your glasses and join me in a toast To love, laughter and happily ever after... Congratulations... To Mr and Mrs Hubble
quankanne Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 kid, you've killed me with that joke – it's priceless! and you're a real sweetie, based on the speech. I think your mama is gonna love it
melodymatters Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 That was very sweet and heartfelt, but...how OLD are your mom and her almost H ? I mean Thats kind off a joke for people in their 60's-80's, I'm not sure a mid forties woman would exactly LOVE it at her wedding ? otherwise great, and maybe find another marriage joke !
Sweetcheripie Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 That was very sweet and heartfelt, but...how OLD are your mom and her almost H ? I mean Thats kind off a joke for people in their 60's-80's, I'm not sure a mid forties woman would exactly LOVE it at her wedding ? otherwise great, and maybe find another marriage joke ! I agree - love the speech and you sound like a sweetheart but I think I would leave out the joke.
Author bennjerrys Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Thanks quankanne, your reply meant alot i hope people will laugh i love my mum so i hope i do a good job for her, im 18 and my mum is 47, do you think the joke is inappropriate? the audience at the dinner will be quite old tho alot of 55+'s and my grandparents are in there seventies, shall i change the joke??
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 ...Providing he's over 70....! I think your giving your mum away is a lovely gesture, and simply perfect.... But you know, even older couples feel frisky. And why shouldn't they? Tell her you look forward to having a little baby sister or brother..... That will raise a giggle, too! Congratulations to one and all!
Author bennjerrys Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 the groom is 47 too, ill think ill change the joke lol
2sure Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Regardless of age or how many times a woman has been married, her wedding day is not the appropriate time to joke about her age. Funny is good when its charming - but on this particular occasion, its not the right funny.
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 How about this joke, instead? During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
quankanne Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 you can always incorporate the joke, just change the line-up a little: Good Evening, I just want to tell you both how honoured I am today to sit at this table with you on this special day ... On behalf of the everyone here, I just want to say mum how beautiful you look today, it truly is a special day for all of us. However, because we've always been so close, I've got to admit that I'm heartbroken about having to give you away today ... I figured I could have at LEAST gotten a few quid for ya! Seriously, today we celebrate everything you have found in each other – a best friend, a teacher, a true partner for life … I love you both very much; you are two very dear people to me. In the past few years I have seen you both grow as individuals and flourish as a couple. Separately you both are very special, remarkable people, but together you are complete, and I look forward to seeing you build a life together, moving gracefully into your golden years and spoiling my kids someday. Which reminds me of a joke: An elderly couple return from a wedding and are in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on the couch, the elderly woman looks at her husband and says, ‘I remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.’ The old man, feeling obligated, reaches over and gently places his hand upon hers. Then she says, ‘I also remember when you used to kiss me every time you had the opportunity.’ The old man, again feeling obligated, leans over and gives her a peck on the cheek. The elderly woman then says, ‘And I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.’ This time the old man stands up and begins to walk out of the room. His wife asks, ‘Was it something I said? Where are you going’? The old man looks back at her and replies, ‘I’m going to get my teeth.’ I would like you all to please raise your glasses and join me in a toast: To love, laughter and happily ever after... Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hubble
melodymatters Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Lets all do a quick search on newly wed jokes and report back the best and KINDEST, sweetest ones ! I think you sound like a wonderful son, but listen to the feedback from your 40-something female LS buds !
melodymatters Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 This is cute, wedding related and your'e not picking on the bride or groom : Good Best Man Wedding Speech Joke The last wedding I was at there was a priest and a minister present. When they brought the drinks round for the toast, the minister said, 'I'll have a large whisky.' The priest commented, 'No alcohol for me I'd rather go with a scarlet woman.' So the minister put his drink back and murmured, 'Sorry I didn't know there was a choice.' Now as the best man, I don't want to offend anyone so if there is a priest or a minister present I apologise, and if there is a scarlet woman here: I'll meet you in the bar in ten minutes ! But maybe try and change the term " scarlet woman" to something more modern ! And if YOU have a GF present you couldn't use this one !
Blindsidedagainalive Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I would leave out ALL jokes. Many people do not want to say what they feel, because of many reasons. You truly are happy for your MUM, so let that come out. Leave it natural and say EXACTLY what you feel.
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 And that - is probably the best idea so far.....
Author bennjerrys Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Just wanted to say a big thanks to everyone for their comments and especially to quankanne I did the speech u re-wrote for me and it went down really well, everyone laughed and told me how well I done afterwards, thanks a million :-) xxxxxx
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