nautidreams Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Ok, question regarding the famous book and philosophy behind it: If you are on a mans mind, he will contact you... txt...call.... run into you... nonetheless, he will find you. So my question is: How long of time can pass between contacts and he is still thinking of me. I spent 4 days out of the last 6 with my hottie in question and decided yesterday I wouldn't txt him but wait to see what he would do... Nothing I got nothing. I didnt want to reach him cuz I thought we had spent so much time together this week flirting and lots of sexual tention that I wanted to give him a chance to miss me, now that he didn't contact me I wonder if he is needing some space. It has only been one day... so how long till I should just forget about it??
counterman Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Well, are you both usually initiating the contact? Like, you initiate and next time he initiates? If you usually contact him first, he will expect you to again and sometimes this is taken for granted. Though, if you stop suddenly, he might be asking himself if there is anything wrong, if you have lost interest in him. I think give it a bit more time. If he is really interested in you, he will come around and contact you. There is no point playing games here. That's just my opinion anyways. I don't think he needs space.
OndaChin Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Please don't start this!! You are about to "kick off" a war with this guy and you don't even know it yet. I understand your feelings. However- he might not know why you stopped calling him unless he reads this blog. What you should do is: 1.) Tell him exactly what you feel. Let him know you want to feel appreciated. (Any real man that has feelings for you WILL COMPLY with your wishes) Some men can be so freakin clueless and fail to show the proper interest. He might be alittle behind as far as understanding your needs OR perphaps he's gaming you (letting you take the intiative). Either way, you wont truly know unless you tell him your feelings. If he chooses to play the "quiet man treatment" after you express yourself to him- then you know its a game. Then you can make a decision on contacting him any further. So, please tell him whats on your mind!!
Leia Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I agree with counterman. Another thing, do not rely on that book. Different people deal with situations, differently.
whichwayisup Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Why are you looking for issues where they are NONE? You JUST spent 4 out of 6 days with him and ONE day goes by - You don't hear from him and you seem worried? Just enjoy what you have with him. When you see/talk to him, that's great, but when you don't, focus on your own life, friends, family. I'm sure he is doing the same thing, doing his own thing. Doesn't mean he doesn't miss you, just that he (like you should too) has his own life as well.
OndaChin Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 (edited) One other thing.... It seems many people subscribed to the "Don't Contact him- Let him contact you" notion. I strongly disagree with this!! This is how a "War" gets kicked off between men and women. Trust me! You don't what this to happen. It's inmature behavior. Contact Him You need to express your feelings to him and be "clear" with them. He won't know there's a problem unless you tell him. This is the only sure way you can determine what his intent is. If he disregards your feelings then you have all the answers you need- and conversly If he truly cares for you he will do better to text, call- so that you feel more appreciated. I've been here myself and talking about your feelings IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!!! Good Luck! Edited February 5, 2010 by OndaChin
counterman Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Okay, what I said earlier about if he is interested in you, he will come around, I took what I would personally do into answering it. If I was interested in a girl, I would contact her if she didn't contact me. Simple. It seems that you have already started something and I agree with ondachin that if someone keeps it up, it will start a war. I will tell you that having someone contact you all the time then suddenly stop without an explanation is a red flag for a lot of people. Only say to stop the confusion, because I am pretty sure he will be wondering why you stopped contacting him, is to tell him that you can't start the conversations all the time and you want to be appreciated. Then, if he doesn't follow accordingly and still goes quiet when you don't contact him, then you know what kind of person you have. If you are feeling unappreciated then contact him and tell him. Whichwayisup is right, don't look too much and focus too much into this. You have other things going for you and you should enjoy talking to this guy. Don't force yourself to stop talking to him once in a while because you think he may need space. Leia said that differently people deal with situations differently. You know what? They truly do. Read what I said above. I would have contacted you already, if I was in your situation. But, he hasn't. If you are on a man's mind, doesn't always mean he will come to you. Take care!
Author nautidreams Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Wow, Each of these responses are dead on!!! Thanks... I have had a pattern of getting some anxiety in the beginning of things and there are times it has caused me to come on strong. He is 29 and I'm 36 and I think he kinda waits for me to initiate things a little because he is a little intimidated. He is a beautiful person and the last time we were together we spent 2 hrs talking. Whichever one of you suggested to not start the war and the games... just put it out there, if he's interested I'll know by how he responds. If he doesn't then I got my answer either way. I sent him a txt letting him know I miss him. I sometimes takes him 2 hrs to respond because of his training schedule. So we will see Thanks so much for each of these responses. My anxiety has lessoned as a result!
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