Author EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Oh goodness... While I have previously held news of your on-again, off-again relationship in higher regard, it now sounds as if you aren't being fair to yourself, in a BIG WAY! The likes of you simply does not need to commit herself to sitting around and waiting for this guy, no matter whether he is unsure of himself and keeping lots of irons in the fire, woman-wise or not. The greatest substance represented by your on-again, off-again boyfriend is your investment IN him... which, in most ways, is largely independent OF "him". He simply isn't enhancing your life enough... and you are soooooooooooo upwardly mobile, socially. Hopefully some soul-searching you'll do in the near future will inspire you to rethink your devotion to this relationship, and perhaps be a little more fair to YOU... in the present. The great ones cannot thrive merely on the (clouded internet perceptions others take OF them). They have to have a hand in their own social successes. I totally get what you are saying. And I do agree with it. I know that even though right now my emotions are taking over, after some time, i'll be able to think much more clearly and logically. I have a feeling I may be over reacting. Who knows. I need to give this some time. If he treated anybody else like he treats me that would be a problem. I'm number one! Okay, seriously, the kids probably squeak in before me, but still, he definitely doesn't treat anyone with the same consideration, affection, and thinly-veiled lust he treats me with, and vice versa. If you're each other's SOs and primaries, you gotta give each other primacy. If this is the same guy you've centered other threads around, and I suspect he is because you say you've been with him for over a year (although I thought you broke up?), he doesn't sound like he EVER does any work to let you know you come first in his affections, to help you feel safe and confident in your relationship. Relationships are a two-way-street, why do you sell yourself short by accepting so little return from this guy? We did break up, twice, but we've decided to begin working on our relationship together again. After the first time we broke up, I was so desperate in 'needing' him back that I took him back without a second thought. This time around, after he asked me to be back with him again, I told him it'll take some time and he will need to prove to me that he wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him. He has compromised, and he has been putting in the effort i've always asked of him. This one problem, though, has been bothering me a lot. Him and I had a very long conversation about it, where I told him what my concerns were and asked him to put himself in my position. I understand things a little more clearly now. And even though I might not agree with it, I am sure of the fact that there is nothing going on between this girl and him.
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