I think I blew it.

[Gcm]

I posted a thread here a while ago. I've been seeing a certain girl for the last 6 months. We were initially FWB's until we both started developing feelings for one another. She got attached first, and then I did.

 

She was with a guy for 5 years that broke things off with her approximately a year ago. He only came back into the picture when he knew she was seeing someone else. This guy obviously did the dirty on her while they were together, but we won't get into that.

 

He phones / messages her at least once a week simply to stay in her memory. He's the typical guy that wants to save her for marriage as she's a decent girl, but I don't think he's ready for commitment. Seeing as he knows she's seeing someone else, he's now playing with her head.

 

When I knew he was in the picture, I backed off so that she could clear her head. Two days later, she came back to me, telling me that she told him that he needs to stop messaging / calling her, he didn't. She's still into this guy quite a bit and it's obvious.

 

I had a rough history with my ex ( I work with both of these girls - on different rotations so our paths barely cross) to the point where work had to get involved; she went a little crazy. I hated the awkwardness of walking past her and looking in the other direction as we haven't spoken for about 7 months.

 

I emailed her the other day to see how things were. She continued emailing me. In short, she now seems to be getting a little close as she sent me a text telling me that I could call her whenever I wanted to.

 

I told the girl I'm seeing about this. She told me that if she (the ex) ever phones me, she wants to be the one who picks up the phone so she gets the hint.

 

The girl I'm seeing is a little confused with what she wants. She tells me that she doesn't see anything happening with her and her ex; however she's going overseas this year and booked her trip while she was single. I know that she doesn't want any real commitment from anyone until she returns from said trip which is understandable.

 

Today I was on a break at work and she was outside on her phone. I whispered to her and told her I was going to go back inside. She gestured for me to stay. I then asked if it was her ex and she nodded. I went back inside.

 

She sent an email saying "I know I don't have to be explaining myself to you, but he called me".

 

I told her I was over it. She asked what I was over. I told her I was over being her doormat.

 

I feel as though I'm there for her like a boyfriend would be without the strings attached. In the last month, she's told me we can "hook up" with other people, yet to this day, neither of us have. We spend about 3-4 days or nights out of the week together and talk on a daily basis.

 

She finished work before I did. She messaged me: "If you're really over it, just let me know and I'll stop contacting you".

 

I replied by telling her that I doubt she'd be hanging around me if she knew I had an ex in the picture that I missed, that I was talking to and kept thinking about. I told her that I didn't know whether to hang around or run for the hills. I advised her that she should probably try to work things out with her ex for closure. If things work out, great. If they don't, she will probably find it easier to get over him. I told her that I wasn't going to stick around if that was going to be the case.

 

She replied: "I don't want things to work with him but obviously what we had now can't work anymore. I'm sorry if I've hurt you".

 

I didn't reply to that message and don't think I will.

 

It's a pretty horrible situation I've put myself in. Time flies when we're together. We do enjoy the time we spend with one another and get along really well. The sex is great and we're both really into one another. I honestly think that we both met at the wrong time in life.

 

I don't really even know why I posted this. If people are willing to give their insight based on what's written, great. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[DustySaltus]

I told her I was over it. She asked what I was over. I told her I was over being her doormat.

 

This pretty much says it all for me. Look, if she told him that she did not want to hear from him anymore and he continues to do so, that's when I would get involved. She obviously likes the attention she is getting and has some sort of feelings for him.

 

I think you did complicate things by beginning to email your ex again. However, it's funny how she reacted that you should let her answer the phone next time the ex calls to get the "hint" but she's still continuing to do what she does. Only when her back is against the wall and she realizes that she may be losing you for good is when she tries to lay the guilt trip on you.

 

I think you should just step back and focus on your ight now. Don't expect her to come back but if she does, hopefully it will be for the right reasons. Good luck.

[boogieboy]

She didnt seem to want to fight for your relationship, and I think she was looking for a reason to end it anyway. Anyone who says "I know I don't have to be explaining myself to you, but he called me" is guilty. I think you were going to lose her to her ex anyway. She is probably with him right now.

[littlebittle]

it sounds like bad timing. it stinks, but it happens. i don't think either of you did anything really bad or hurtful, the situation is just complicated because of past relationships. it sounds like neither of you are truly ready to move forward in a new relationship.

 

if you guys really like each other, maybe somewhere down the road you'll meet up again under circumstances that are more conducive to a relationship. never say never!

[Gcm]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Update: I was out with a few friends last night and my ex started messaging me. It started off as innocent texting, her asking if she could come over to pick up her "naughty outfits". It then turned into her asking for a FB relationship with absolutely no strings attached. I declined, in a polite way.

 

Moments later, the girl I've been seeing phoned me as she was on her way home from a girlfriends house. When I got off the phone, I messaged her saying "I didn't think I was going to hear from you after the last text you sent me, enjoy your night".

 

She replied with "It's not that easy to let you go".

 

My head's in a bit of a mess at the moment. This girl wouldn't lead me on, I know that for a fact. Her feelings for me are strong, but I think I'm just going to stay out of the picture until she cuts ties with her ex for good. If they ended the relationship on good terms and neither of them had any form of feelings for one another, I would happily stick around. However, there are plenty of girls out there without the baggage; I think I should probably cut ties and see what happens from here.