Zeegagge Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I was reading the thread about dating men who have gotten women pregnant out of wedlock and I was going to reply, but too far off topic, so, new thread... Men, would you date a woman with a child or children out of wedlock? What would be your reasons for doing so and what would your holdups be? I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I recently met a woman who has a two your old little boy always running around everywhere. I figured it was a typical scenario, guy's off somewhere and hardly interested in his child, much less the woman who bore it for him. I've always said I would never date a woman who has children. I want children but I want them to be my own, not someone else's. Invariably if the relationship goes on long enough I would end up becoming, to some degree or another, a father to that child or children. In addition it seems a bit irresponsible on the mother's part. I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone about people I might date and I said I would never date a woman with children. I then felt bad about saying that right away. I thought about the woman I mentioned before with the two year old. See, what I thought was a typical situation was actually not at all. After meeting her I was talking with her cousin and as it turns out her and the child's father were very much in love and were engaged, but the father died in a car accident before the child was born. Deep stuff, I know, and tragic. May he rest in peace. In a case like this I have no problem dating her because, well, it's not her fault number one and number two, that child's father is no longer with us. So you see, blanket statements of morality don't work at all. Thoughts?
Woggle Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 If I were single it would not be a dealbreaker but it would be a red flag. I would have to find out what is behind it and what happened with the father.
Enema Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I wouldn't - but I don't ever want children myself.
meerkat stew Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Would date women with children and have. Would not date women with children born out of wedlock. Just personal preference, strong believer in family planning and abortion.
Explorer Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Men, would you date a woman with a child or children out of wedlock? What would be your reasons for doing so and what would your holdups be? No. If I'm going to invest the time in raising a child, it most certainly will be from my genes. Aside from the that, surely there will be all kinds of other baggage to work through...ex-husband or father of child, worrying about the child accepting an unbiological father in his life, having your attention greatly divided and weighted against you with someone's elses child being the priority, difficulty in having date nights as someone has to watch the child, etc. Why deal with that when you can just pick up a kidless chic?
randall Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 When you date a woman with kids remember you'll always be 'second' to her children. That gets old as well.
samspade Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 No way. Her children will always be priority #1, which I respect, but I am not interested in taking a backseat.
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