Author rand0m Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 I had been thinking the same: "why does she keep calling, why does she keep texting, why does she keep messaging me?" I had thought she was missing me. Possibly lying in bed, alone, cold, wondering where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, and who might've been lying in bed next to me at that moment. Pretty sure I was wrong. It's as if she doesn't miss me at all. As if losing me has made her happy. I wish I could still be the person who made her feel that way, as I had been for the past 5 years. I had taken the dogs hiking on Sunday (stupid? probably, but I couldn't resist). Picked them up in the morning and get a text from her: "when will ____ be home? I want to take him downtown and am waiting for you". I don't respond, but bring the dogs back a little while later. She's there, dressed like she's gonna go shopping or whatever. She's friendly, I am not. I ignore her completely, until she asks if I had brought her jackets from the closet. I had forgotten (legitimately). I say "no", and leave. Still steaming from an incident that occured on the Friday before, I throw all of her **** into my car and head back over to her parents' place about 1.5 hours later. She's still there, and changed into sweats. She thanks me, I say nothing. I don't even look at her. She heads into the house and her mom asks me what's wrong. I tell her about the incident. She's not happy. From there it just went downhill, I finally got confirmation about the other guy, and that was that. I posted pictures of my hike on fb, some landscape shots, and a few of the dogs (part of me wants her to see what she's missing, I know it's useless, but I can't help it). Today I get a message from her: "love the pictures of the you and the dogs hiking, hope you don't mind me stealing one." I assumed she used it as her profile pic, but I don't check, so I'm not sure (her previous profile pic was one of her and one of the dogs, which, coincidently, I also took a few years ago). I didn't respond. Monday I told her I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to hear from her, next contact is all or nothing. Yet, she contacts me 2 days later. I doubt she expected a response, but I'm very proud of myself for not giving in. I also think she's keeping tabs on me because she knows I'm friends with her brother. She never used to call him, but has been calling/texting daily to see what he's up to and who he's with. Oh well, onwards and upwards. Only time will tell what the future holds. Now, I'm off to vegas in 12 hours!
jerrytodd Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Now, I'm off to vegas in 12 hours! Vegas may be a good way to get over this quick. Interestingly enough it was when I went out one night I felt really bad and missed her the most since we broke up. My ex is very beautiful and can really make a room turn on its head. I saw two very similar girls and was just broken up. Continued success and NC!
Author rand0m Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) Well, back from Vegas. Had a blast, but being home, and knowing she's on vacation in mexico isn't really helping. There's so much I know that I wish I didn't. There's so much going through my head that I wish I could put aside. Logic tells me to move on. We've said all there is to say, only time will tell what the future holds. Emotions tell me to fight for what I believe in; that if I truly love this girl with everything I am, than I should never give up, not like she had. Every single word/sentence/verse in this song is exactly what I'm going through (except for "she finally met a man that's gonna put her first", because throughout the past 5 years, she has never ceased to be my number one, the person I walked the ends of the earth for, the person I refused to let down, my one and only). Now it's time to put me first. I've said it before, and maybe I'll say it again, but the more I repeat it to myself, the more I believe. The more I realize I'm stronger for going through this. It's my time to shine. My heart still aches, my mind still races, my body still shakes, and my soul still feels alone. It's like every new breath I take is harder to inhale, but as the clock continues to click onwards, so will I. Edited February 22, 2010 by rand0m
jerrytodd Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Well, back from Vegas. Had a blast, but being home, and knowing she's on vacation in mexico isn't really helping. There's so much I know that I wish I didn't. There's so much going through my head that I wish I could put aside. Logic tells me to move on. We've said all there is to say, only time will tell what the future holds. Emotions tell me to fight for what I believe in; that if I truly love this girl with everything I am, than I should never give up, not like she had. Every single word/sentence/verse in this song is exactly what I'm going through (except for "she finally met a man that's gonna put her first", because throughout the past 5 years, she has never ceased to be my number one, the person I walked the ends of the earth for, the person I refused to let down, my one and only). Now it's time to put me first. I've said it before, and maybe I'll say it again, but the more I repeat it to myself, the more I believe. The more I realize I'm stronger for going through this. It's my time to shine. My heart still aches, my mind still races, my body still shakes, and my soul still feels alone. It's like every new breath I take is harder to inhale, but as the clock continues to click onwards, so will I. I think we all emerge a little stronger. Just a shi**y way to get stronger. Sorry you sound so down. Keep the NC and keep posting. This is a great community of support. Glad Vegas was enjoyable, sorry it didnt get rid of the hurt.
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