nautidreams Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Hi, I'm very new posting hear, but I've been reading for awhile and finally have my own dilema to post. Hoping for appropriate advice I am 36 divorced for 1.5 yrs and still figuring out dating the second time around. I have developed a pattern of being attracted to guys with some kind of extreme job or hobby, I guess they seem a little bad ass to me. I also love very intense deep thinking emotional men and when those two qualities collide ... wow... watch out!! Saturday night I was out for a friends birthday and shizam... This guy starts walking my way. I could literally feel him coming and I knew he was after me. When he comes up next to me he doesn't speak to me of course he talks to my friend (scott) who he knows. Then from out of no where he reaches down and starts rubbing my hand. It was as if electricity sent shockwaves throughtout my entire soul. We flirted that night and he got my number. We spent the majority of the next day together and everything was awesome, turns out he is a fighter in the UFC and he is very deeply spiriatual and emotional. Two big turn ons for me. I was concerned at first because he is younger than me. He is 29 and I'm 36. We are attracted to one another like magnets and it is scaring the hell out of me. Since Saturday we have seen each other quite abit and he even came to my gym last night and went to my "bodycombat" class. He enjoyed it and at the same time it made me realize what a celebrity this guy is. Everyone at my gym knew him. We talked in his car for 2 hrs after that. We just don't seem to want to let go. We have not slept together and I've been very careful not to be alone with him. My question is this, I need a strategy to be able to step back and let this breath a little. My logical side knows I need to let him lead and not contact him, let him do the pursuing. I have definately been the one doing the asking, if just felt natural cuz I'm older. We have been out 3 times in 4 days. He seems to be very into me but I'm not wanting to buy it right now for fear I will fall head over heals. He constantly tells me I am beautiful and he talks of the future. For instance, he said... when I come over to your place I want to look at your minivan that isn't running. How sweet is that. He also talks alot about upcoming travel plans he has due to commitments in both MMA and UFC. I don't want him to feel guilty about this.. I have quite a large carreer myself and have lots of travel. But then he follows it up with comments suggesting he was me to go with him sometimes... I just can't figure out how to STOP focusing on him sooo much and let it breath. My logic tells me I have to or I will smother this out quickly. My heart just doesn't know how!!! Help help help... I feel a bit out of control right now, and I'm a control freak so it sucks.
Calendula Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I know how you feel . Emotions aren't something that can be controled like so many other things in life, and it will only drive you nuts trying to sort them out and get them to make sense . Just go with it. The best thing I can tell you is ENJOY it while it lasts, and don't worry about what might or might not come next. Whatever negative things you worry about you risk bringing into existence, creating problems where none would otherwise exist. Sometimes it is the hardest thing to do, but you have to LET GO of the control, and just LET IT BE. Don't let the fear of falling and hitting the bottom keep you from jumping and enjoying the ride. You may never hit the ground, but you don't know until you've tried to fly. Just imagine, it might just work out, and wouldn't it be awesome if it does? As far as the age thing goes, 7 years is nothing for where you're at right now. Plenty of women your age would love to have the interest of this slightly younger guy, and it totally works from the biological perspective as women typically live longer than men.
Author nautidreams Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 You are exactly right, especially about bringing your fears into existance. I think I have focused on this way to much today and need to let it go. Easier said than done, especially when someone totally rocks your world. Thanks so much for the reply. It is truly appreciated.
boogieboy Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Its too late, youve already fallen for him. Cant stop it now. If you let him pursue you, and you cant stop answering the phone, then you'll never get the break you want.
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