pureinheart Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I am not sure how to title this, or if in fact it is in the right forum... What would be considered a normal reaction of a man just coming out of a D, a D that he "says" he wanted. Better yet, how do men react to a D? The reason I ask this is my supposedly SO acted extremely weird today...I brought him with me to a service for a friend that had recently passed....we both know the same people from work as we worked together in the past also. He acted like I was not significant to him and basically disrespected me imo. I keep him at arms legnth anyway because of the fact of recently D'ing and am straight up with him concerning my feelings....he chases me, and gets bent out of shape if I seem to be "distant", although today with the people we used to work with acted as if I did not exist...this makes no sence to me.... I think I need some time to think this through and would appreciate constructive imput....why would he act this way towards me...playing the field now?
TaraMaiden Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I would think a funeral is a very awkward place for people to interact... I don't know if he's appeared in public before, with you, as your SO..... But maybe as he's only recently divorced, he didn't want your friends to think badly of you for having been associated with a man going through a divorce, especially as it was during a religious service.... I would tentatively ask how he felt about attending, and whether he was pleased to be with you at least....? But funerals are odd places for the emotions they evoke in people.... I've been to funerals where some people have acted entirely out of character - primarily because death is a touchy subject, and people don't know how they 'should' be reacting...... Did he know the person who had died, well? If not, maybe he felt a little out-of-place and as if he shouldn't have been there at all..... Just some thoughts.
Author pureinheart Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 I would think a funeral is a very awkward place for people to interact... I don't know if he's appeared in public before, with you, as your SO..... But maybe as he's only recently divorced, he didn't want your friends to think badly of you for having been associated with a man going through a divorce, especially as it was during a religious service.... I would tentatively ask how he felt about attending, and whether he was pleased to be with you at least....? But funerals are odd places for the emotions they evoke in people.... I've been to funerals where some people have acted entirely out of character - primarily because death is a touchy subject, and people don't know how they 'should' be reacting...... Did he know the person who had died, well? If not, maybe he felt a little out-of-place and as if he shouldn't have been there at all..... Just some thoughts. Yes, true....well it was more like a "service", and actually very relaxed considering....you are so right though, everyone reacts differently with death... Thanks Tara, ummmm he knew the passed person from work and had talked to him quite frequently, but not real close. Excellent questions to ask him...thanks again...
You Go Girl Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I'd just ask him why he was so distant. I would pay close attention to his answer. I would think it over as long as necessary after he gave his answer before coming to a conclusion. Being a little distant--not letting it out in the open that you two are becoming a couple is understandable considering his D is recent. However there's two possibilities here. One is that he was thinking of you--another is that he was thinking of himself! Maybe there was a woman there that he would like to date. Maybe he's considering dating someone else from that circle of people, whether she was there or not. I don't mean to get the bad side of your imagination going-- I'm just pointing out that there is more than one possibility as to why he was so distant. Distance and disrespectful and very different---how was he disrespectful? Every man, every person--reacts differently with divorce. Everyone's situation is unique to them. One thing is for sure--any person recently divorced--the next person in their life is considered the "rebound" relationship. Also, dating very quickly after divorce is a red flag, imho.
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