minniezz Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Hey, I really need help in this situation. Well, i like this girl and i think she kinda likes me too. I haven't said the "L-word" to her yet because there are 3 things that bother me : - 1st thing is,she tells me that she doesn't really want to be in a relationship because the last one still bothers her sometimes. Well, this one kinda makes me feel hard to say the "L-word". - 2nd thing is,she tells me a lot of stuffs, mostly like how she goes out and how many guys follow her and she goes out almost like everyday, hanging with her friends and the other dudes. Well, this one kinda bothers me the most. I dont know what to say or how to react,I kinda get jealous whenever she tells me that she goes out with a guy, lol my emotions often go up and down whenever she tells me about those "hanging out" stuffs. I dont get comfortable with this at all. - 3rd thing is, just yesterday, she told me that "I'm her only one and she wishes i was hers." So, i dont know what to do now. I just feel lost, my emotion is really unstable lately. I know it feels kinda stupid for a guy to feel this way...lol So I'm really looking for some help or advices here :(Thanks!
Meaplus3 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 She sounds a touch confuses here. I'd ask her a few more questions with regards to what she is looking for in a Relationship. That should clear things up for you. Good luck. Mea:)
Author minniezz Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Uhm, hi Mea,thx for the reply Appreciated! Can you tell me what questions should be asked here ? Honestly i feel so awful about this, my emotions went up and down. And well, whenever i stay alone, i can't stay focus on anything. Its such a mess for a guy,i know. That sucks
Ronni_W Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 just yesterday, she told me that "I'm her only one and she wishes i was hers." Ask her if she'd like to go to a movie with you, or to the library to play scrabble. If that goes well, ask her out again. And again. And, after a couple of months, ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. It just is that you need to screw up your courage, take the risk and ask her out. If she says 'yes', you'll be over the moon. If she says 'no', you'll survive and at least you'll know you have courage. Right? If by the "L-word" you mean "love", don't say it. You don't know her well enough for that word to have any meaning at this point. You both need to get to know each other's "deeper stuff", first. Values, dreams, goals, likes and dislikes, fears. After a couple of dates, start saying stuff like, "I enjoy hanging out with you", "I like your sense of humour" -- you can genuinely express your interest and what you appreciate about her in ways that will come across as more authentic. Using the word "love" too early will make it sound like you don't have the first clue what "love" is or means. Good luck!
Author minniezz Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Oh hi Ronni Actually we 've been going out together for a month. We ve had a great time. And thanks again for your words really amazing ones
Ronni_W Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Actually we 've been going out together for a month. We ve had a great time. Sorry -- I missed that part So...are you ready to ask her to be your (exclusive) girlfriend? Which would, of course, mean that she'd be making a promise to not hang out with other dudes in a romantic way. But. If you experience feelings of jealousy for her platonic male friendships...well, then we gotta talk some more . That's your own insecurity and neediness, and your best bet would be to work on your own self-esteem and self-worth. (Your jealous feelings are about what YOU need to work on, not about what she is doing. YOU need to change your internal stuff, she does not need to change what/how she's doing her life and friendships.) Know what I mean?
Meaplus3 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Uhm, hi Mea,thx for the reply Appreciated! Can you tell me what questions should be asked here ? Honestly i feel so awful about this, my emotions went up and down. And well, whenever i stay alone, i can't stay focus on anything. Its such a mess for a guy,i know. That sucks First of all. "Ask her why her last R till bothers her? That could very well be a big factor as to why she may have a hard time commiting to you. Simply get her talking. The more you can commnunicate with her, the better you will understand what she's feeling. You can do it. Best of luck. Mea:) -
Author minniezz Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Yeah thanks Mea and Ronni i'll try to talk to her. @ Ronni : i do feel jealous and i dont really know why it keeps happening. I guess it keeps getting deeper and deeper...
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