minniezz Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Hey, I really need help in this situation. Well, i like this girl and i think she kinda likes me too. I haven't said the "L-word" to her yet because there are 3 things that bother me : - 1st thing is,she tells me that she doesn't really want to be in a relationship because the last one still bothers her sometimes. Well, this one kinda makes me feel hard to say the "L-word". - 2nd thing is,she tells me a lot of stuffs, mostly like how she goes out and how many guys follow her and she goes out almost like everyday, hanging with her friends and the other dudes. Well, this one kinda bothers me the most. I dont know what to say or how to react,I kinda get jealous whenever she tells me that she goes out with a guy, lol my emotions often go up and down whenever she tells me about those "hanging out" stuffs. I dont get comfortable with this at all. - 3rd thing is, just yesterday, she told me that "I'm her only one and she wishes i was hers." So, i dont know what to do now. I just feel lost, my emotion is really unstable lately. I know it feels kinda stupid for a guy to feel this way...lol So I'm really looking for some help or advices here Thanks!
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Are you dating her? Are you in an exclusive relationship with her? It doesn't sound like it. I think you should start by establishing an exclusive relationship. If she isn't interested in that, she sure won't want to hear the L word.
tincanman99 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 She is messing with your head and is unsure of what she wants. I would take anything she says with a grain of salt because frankly it will change the next day. I would not say the "L" word under any circumstance. Also do not tell her you like her. As for her mentioning the other guys, this is a red flag. This tells me she has a need to feel wanted and desired right now by others. And her telling you this is to either make you feel jealous or tell you indirectly she is not serious about you. I would back off and be a bit more aloof. The harder you pursue the more erractic she will become.
Author minniezz Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Thx txs and tinca for your advices. Really appreciated! Thing is we've been going out for a month and we had a good time. And i think your point is kinda right, she is surely messing with me. So is there anyway to find it out if what she really thinks ?
boogieboy Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I'll tell you what she really thinks. She is not really into you, I think you are filling a void for her. The void is the guy that dumper her before you. She will tell you what you want to hear sometimes to keep you at bay. When someone says "i dont want to be in a relationship" it means they dont want to be in a relationship with YOU. When she goes out with her friends and dudes, I think she is shopping. She is satisfied with you now, but if she is still thinking of her ex (she says it still bothers her) she is not thinking long term with you. You dont "do it" for her, you arent really "the one" for her like she says. I think she is feeding you lines that she got fed by the guy that strung her along. So you need to emotionally check out of your relationship NOW before you get hurt by her. Or dump her and go find someone who isnt healing from a dumping. She started dating you before she was ready and you are suffering for it. I dont care what she tells you, dont believe any of it. You can try to see if you can get the truth out of her, but it will take alot of nagging, and you wont know what to believe anyway. You can sense that her actions dont match her words, so get out now.
clueless haha Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 - 3rd thing is, just yesterday, she told me that "I'm her only one and she wishes i was hers." she told you how she feels right there^^^ you should do the same get in there bro
Zeegagge Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 It's too soon after her recent breakup. The worst part is it sounds like she doesnt even realize it right now. She's confused. She's craving the attention of other guys. It's definitely too soon for I love yous. I would be extremely cautious if I were you.
tincanman99 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 You are the rebound boy and are bound to get hurt. You are temporarily filling the void in her life right now. I have been the rebound boy and typically there is a big push to be a "couple" immediately by the person who is on rebound. There will be lots of emotions and intimacy and than one day she will wake up and decide you are not what she wanted and you will get the "lets just be friends" speech. Remember this always "actions speak louder than words". Her actions dont tell me that she is really into you. As boogieboy said she is shopping around and you need to get out now before you get in to much deeper. You should back way off and see if she comes to you. If she doesnt that tells you where you stand.
Author minniezz Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 She told me that uhm..her last rela was 2 years ago...this **** is too much
meerkat stew Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 If her excuse for not commiting to you is a relationship that died two years ago, she isn't really digging you. Back off and cultivate other options.
Author minniezz Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Uhm thats not the excuse of hers but it does make a distance between us. Sometimes i think shes toying me...Idk if its true or not but that at least is what i feel
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