New_Life08 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 So, do you think it is totally normal of an online guy? I can not understand what he is waitng. What does he want to find out during the waiting period? I do not know how old you are, I am guessing pretty young. It is disheartening to me that in this day and age we question the motives of a person who wants to abstain from sex, and find the ones who want to jump in bed right away to be normal. It seems backwards, or I am just getting old...lol. In any case here is a few words of wisdom to remember... Not all men are jerks, not all men use women, not all men look at porn, and not all men lose all common sense to an erection. If this is due to his moral values, then that is great. If you are with him and things just seem weird... like there is some other reason he is putting it off, then I would ask questions. Until then enjoy the mystery, it can be the most romantic time of your life.
calizaggy Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Right now I have a girlfriend that made me wait about 15 dates to have sex.. I am glad we did.. I know her, the sex is great, and I always want her.. I have become accustomed before her to the easier variety of women, and the sex really never was that good. I also usually became tired of having sex with them after a period of time. . It was not nearly as natural, and no feelings were behind it. It was more mechanical.
thegreatmoose Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I met online a man who does not want to have sex as soon as possible. He does not want to kiss on the first dates. But, he is fine with making out on dates 3 and more and, also, he is able to get hard while we are making out. He wants exclusivity, and he wants to postpone having sex for a month or even more. I let him know that I want to try to have sex. But, he wants to postpone it anyway. I actually have a feeling that there might be something wrong with his sexual ability or personality. Any suggestions? Why a man would prefer to postpone sex as long as possible? I guess there's something wrong with a man wanting a meaningful relationship rather than a quick sexual fling. :rolleyes:
OndaChin Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Maybe he's a CLOSET "eunuch"??? A eunuch (HS)(pronounced ˈjuːnək) is a castrated man; usually one castrated early enough to have major hormonal consequences.
calizaggy Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I think women like this are confusing for men like myself.. If she is in a hurry to have sex, I then think : 1. She does this with many guys from the internet. 2. The sex does not mean much, which makes it not nearly as good. I also have found many otherwise bland,boring, or women with less to offer want to "hook the man" for lack of a better term by offering quick sex, as they don't have much to offer besides the sex. In a way the sex will cloud the men's mind from seeing all of her obvious inadequacies.
thegreatmoose Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 The media shoves down mens' throats every day that the more women they get and the faster they get them in bed, the more manly they are. The truth is that a lot of them need time to get comfortable with their partners. I've known a lot of guys who said that they can't perform because they're nervous around a stranger - I think we forget sometimes that men can be cautious and it's normal, especially considering the STDs going around these days. That's a big part of it. There's also a growing segment of the population who will label those who don't have sex very quickly as wimps or wusses or something similar. It's really gotten out of control.
tincanman99 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Its all about patience, self discipline and control of yourself. You can let your sexual equipment run the show or you can use your brain. Frequently if you let your sex drive control it you make very poor decisions. Its that basic. It has nothing to do with low testosterone. Of course in this country there is no self discipline of any kind. Its immediate gratification so people are not used to doing this. My ethnic background is northern European and I can assure you we are very methodical and pragmatic even about sex. Nothing happens by accident.
jenifer1972 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I think women like this are confusing for men like myself.. If she is in a hurry to have sex, I then think : 1. She does this with many guys from the internet. 2. The sex does not mean much, which makes it not nearly as good. I also have found many otherwise bland,boring, or women with less to offer want to "hook the man" for lack of a better term by offering quick sex, as they don't have much to offer besides the sex. In a way the sex will cloud the men's mind from seeing all of her obvious inadequacies. I think your first two points should be posted in every girls' restroom in highschools and every women's restroom in bars and clubs. Truer words were never spoken, and I truly don't know what is wrong with women these days that they can't see that. They want to be "players" like the guys, but that will never happen because just wishing doesn't make it so! You cannot fight evolution, and the bottom line is, men do not value women who sleep with anyone and everyone.
Lakeside_runner Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Um, last girl I dated - I waited to have sex until about three months after we have met. I think sex is much more meaningful when people are in a committed relationship than just see if they are compatible and go exclusive afterwords (although now that I wrote it I see advantages of it).
mortensorchid Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Hey, nothing wrong with waiting. Women usually have to play the waiting game but it's just as rewarding when you finally DO the deed.
thegreatmoose Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Of course in this country there is no self discipline of any kind. Its immediate gratification so people are not used to doing this. This immediate gratification has been taken to such an extreme that someone wanting to wait a few dates for a kiss or a few months for sex is called horrible things. Just look at one thread after another on this board or any other board and you can find 1000 examples. A perfect example was a thread about a woman who doesn't kiss on the first date. How terrible that someone won't kiss on the first date. :rolleyes:
Disillusioned Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Maybe he's a CLOSET "eunuch"??? A eunuch (HS)(pronounced ?ju?n?k) is a castrated man; usually one castrated early enough to have major hormonal consequences. If there's anything wrong with a straight man not wanting sex, it's only because our society's peer pressure made it wrong. Unlike gays, asexuals haven't had their Stonewall raid... no big coming-out event. But like it or not, homosexuality and asexuality are probably nature's way of putting the brakes on our rabbit-like population explosion... I'm sure asexual guys don't feel gypped because they're not getting any STDs or paternity suits. I think sex is like heroin... some guys will try it and get hooked, and then they won't be able to live without it... others won't want to try it at all, for fear of becoming addicts or having a bad trip.
calizaggy Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Sex IS much better if you are in love, like the person, and want a relationship with them. Just banging some internet girl is better than nothing sometimes, but the 2 cannot be compared.
Disillusioned Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Sex IS much better if you are in love, like the person, and want a relationship with them. Just banging some internet girl is better than nothing sometimes, but the 2 cannot be compared. Dunno about you, but I just can't get excited over any woman I'm not going to spend a few years with.
Satisfaction Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 The responses to this thread, well apart from the nutty ones have warmed my heart. Thank you guys!
Joe Normal Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 If he's looking for something serious, then waiting a while makes some sense - he gets to find out what you are like as a person, whether you seem trustworthy, whether you get stronger feelings together as you get to know each other better.
datingsucks Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I'd lose respect for a girl if she pulled something sexual on the first date or first week or so of dating and would stop seeing her personally. Not every guy fits the stereotype.
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