The Second Chance with a First Love, But why are things so different?

[Kitten.Pie]

Last month I got back together with my ex. Some background about us:

 

He was my first relationship to last longer than a few weeks. He gave me many of my first experiences, one of them being that I lost my virginity to him. We were together for almost six months and he broke up with me a couple weeks before xmas; he told me he didn't know what he wanted anymore. We got back together for a week about a month later but he ended up breaking up with me again, breaking my heart

 

For the next few months we saw each other less and less since we didn't have the same friends or anything. Eventually I cut him out of my life completely because I couldn't handle even talking to him.

 

A couple months ago, right before xmas, we started talking a bit over the internet. I had finally gotten over him completely so I thought maybe we could be friends. We started texting and eventually he confessed to me how much he missed me, how much of a mistake he made, and all that wonderful stuff. Eventually one thing led to another and we got back together. The thing is - he now lives about 460km away in another city. I have been there two weekends since we have been together and it had been wonderful. He is supposed to come visit me this weekend. When we were together before for the first few months it was like this, so we are used to it.

 

Alright, now here is my dilemma: So I have gone out with and "been with" a few guys over the year we have been apart. None of which treated me very well, or as well as I would have liked. I was completely devoted to some even though they treated me badly. Now, with this guy again, he treats me like gold. I know he loves me with all his heart and he treats me like a princess. I in turn reciprocate, of course. Everything is perfect on the outside, but on the inside things are different....

 

I just don't understand my feelings at the moment. Before, when we were apart, I would miss him like crazy. Now, I just feel indifferent. And he talks to me all the time, which I thought I would love, but it kind of bothers me a bit. He texts me constantly, calls me twice a day to chat, and always tells me how much he cares. I should be ecstatic, shouldn't I? I don't know why all his affection just bugs me...

 

And one more issue I have.... I don't want to sound shallow or something like that, but I have a bit of an issue with how he looks. I know he can't change it and it's what's on the inside that counts, but one this is that I am a bit taller than him. It makes me insecure. I am not an insecure person usually, but this bugs me a bit. Does anyone know a couple where the woman it taller? It didn't bother me much before, but it does a bit now.

 

I don't know what's changed. He treats me better than ever, but I just don't feel I care for him as much as I did before. Am I afraid to get hurt again? Will I grow to love him again over time? He is a real catch on how he treats me... Please help!

[David V.]

You could try find out if he is doing so out of pure, genuine, unadulterated love........or neediness of some sort, or even regret.

 

Based upon that, or perhaps before, you could make a decision about yourself.

 

But yours seems to be a relationship worth fighting for. Please, do not give up on him just yet. Watch him grow. Help him to what extent you find yourself comfortable with.