carhill Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Man that sucks Guess you got the memo that this probably isn't healthy for you. Can I ask a question? Did/does your ex enjoy casual sex?
Author bluestraps Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Its a disfunction. Three things, # 1 she has been diagnosed with depression. at least shes had it since 1996 . Before we were togther she had cheated before on a boyfriend. I know she was 16 when she first had sex .She also has been cheated on. She was 23 when we met., so in that time she mainlly dated guys with criminal problems that she didnt know about . # 2 She sufers from low self estem , which I have tried to build her up over the years. Its the constant problem I believe where she wants to feel special and sexy and for some reason doenst feel it. Of course the depression makes you feel like nothing matters and you feel nothing so Of course If she isnt feeling good about anything then How do you get the feeling to go away. I guess its sex. She always says she doesnt want to do it. She doesnt act nasty or look nasty . If you met her she's really sweet It like its not her doing it . But she can get very angry and yell alot. # 3 its our relationship . She In my estimation has been getting better in the last few years except in the last year where our relationship has been at least neglected by both of us in a sense. That we have been coasting and we were getting lazy in our relationship. Weve spent so long together . It just seems like no matter what she does or I do, we always work it out. But this time I'm not sure
ms.ac Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 you are not seeing things for what they are, you are giving her all the excuses in the world for doing horrible things to you. and i understand, i was in a relationship for 5 years.. i understand wanting it back, i was hurt bad too, I made so many excuses, "oh i can see his side and why this happened" "maybe it was this maybe it was that" "but I think we are meant to be" and so on, I'm much younger than you, 23, and probably much less experience but I can even sit here and say that you are just hurting yourself, you also made a lot of wrong moves.. she is BEYOND selfish, when is it ok for her to decide what she wants, why does she get to dictate what your life is going to be, your just letting her know that she can do whatever she wants to you, just like she has been, and you are just showing her she can. I realize now that i can make myself happy, and i will make myself happy, i deserve so much more, and so do you, even if you cant see it right now. My ex has a new girlfriend and has tried to contact me, but I know that if I give in to him just like you have to her, I will just be a doormat once again. Does this mean I dont love my ex? nope, I love and care about him with all my heart and probably always will, but i finally realized I LOVE MYSELF MORE.. and you really need to realize this before anything else.. even if you ended up being with this girl for the rest of your life.
Author bluestraps Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Im gonna try to see things for what they are but I've gotta follow my guts on this one not my brain.
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