Golden-73 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Here it goes – My GF of 2 years just told me she needs “space”. The reason why? I just got a 6 month contract for $250,000 in labor. This is for upgrades for work I did for the same company 5 years ago. I was excited as could be. The only difference is I will be working 11-12 hour days for the next 6 months. She was very supportive when I was doing everything to prep for this contact. She stayed every weekend with me, and usually would come over 3-4 nights a week for dinner, and hang out. I told her I will be working a lot more, and I probably won’t get to see you as much during the week. I promised her we would go to dinner at least once on weekdays. And also if she would like to go for a walk later in the evening 9 to 10 PM we could do that. And every weekend will be just the same and better because we will be more excited to see each other. We both have good jobs, and money was never an issue. We have discussed getting married, and know which how we would like to buy together. And agree this money will be enough to put a good down payment on this house. It has a boat dock with is important for us. Without this money more than likely we would not be able to afford this house. The other day she told me “Money must be more important than I am to you” I only get to see you for a few hours 2 days a week, and all weekend long is good. I told her I would like her to start staying the night with me. She won’t do it on weeknights. I told her we have plans on getting married. Why don’t you move in with me? She won’t. In my eyes noting has changed except I don’t see her as much. I have called her and talked to her 20 – 30 minutes every day before we went to bed. And have driven 20 minutes out of my way several times to drop by , and give her a kiss. I don’t know what to do except give her ample space to figure out what she wants. Most of my time is taken up for the next 6 months anyway. I can’t go out and do much. But if nothing is resolved after that amount of time I will be ready, and have the time to move on and date other women.
alphamale Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I don’t know what to do except give her ample space to figure out what she wants. Most of my time is taken up for the next 6 months anyway. I can’t go out and do much. But if nothing is resolved after that amount of time I will be ready, and have the time to move on and date other women. i think you should just give her her walking papers. tell her its your way or the highway. who cares if she sticks around, after you make all that dough you'll have chicks all over you
Author Golden-73 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 I agree your right. I love this girl and it would be hard to do right now. She can be needy at times, and is not used to this. I don't think it is a drastic change. If I get nothing positive in a the next few weeks it will tell me a lot. about moving on! I know when I am done in 6 months if she wants back - too bad. She will not help me spend any of this money unless she sticks with me through this!
Trialbyfire Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Balance Golden. If she were completely needy, she wouldn't have supported you through the bid on this contract. Something's off. Was she aware of the amount of time you would be working, when she supported you through the bid?
Author Golden-73 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 She was aware I told her 11 - 12 hours a day plus 1 hour of travel round trip. I think it started to sink in, and she has missed me more. Also she was not used to the sudden change. I have been doing this contract for 2 1/2 week for far. It is still new to both of us.
Trialbyfire Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I'm going to throw another perspective towards you, something you're not considering. Here's a woman who cares more about spending time with you, than the money. Do you know how many wealthy men would give their left nut for a woman like that? Anyways, I do agree that she's being a unreasonable but if you look at her underlying reasons, is it so bad? Perhaps this one is worth making an effort to find some kind of happy compromise with.
Author Golden-73 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 I have tried a few different things. I asked her to meet me half way for dinner, I suggested us getting a gym membership and working out together in the evenings. The gym I would ask her to go to is about 20 minutes away from her. I think she should be happy, and willing to do this. but the last few days I have only heard I don't know. I also asked her if we are still on for our Valentines Day plans. She told me I don't know. This is why I am considering giving her all the space she needs.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Well atleast you know she isn't with you for your earning potential. Isn't it possible that she has been missing meaningful time with you and knows that she'll be missing the same for the next six months? Her recognizing that your relationship might be headed for trouble due to your work schedule and a need to think it over doesn't make her the bad guy. She may very well realize that it's worth the sacrifice. Her crime is missing you? wanting to spend time with you? recognizing her needs aren't being met and communicating that to you? You seem very quick to write off a two year relationship and move on to someone else. Beware of the woman that doesn't care how much time you spend at work; in fact, encourages you to bust your ass.......as long as you leave the checkbook with her. `
Trialbyfire Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Sounds like you're trying to find compromises and she's not willing to budge. With this in mind, I would firmly put the ball in her court by telling her that you love her and will miss her but are willing to give her the space she's asked for, since she's unwilling to find some kind of compromise or at least tell you, in a point blank fashion, what she wants, to keep this relationship viable.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Jeez...my boyfriend works 11-12 hour days anyways and makes pennies compared to that. Someone who truly cares about you should be there for you through thick & thin. As long as you're still a loving and supportive partner, she should be able to cope with your spending more time at work. I agree with the posters that said give her the boot if she continues to bitch about it...if you guys plan on being married she should be more supportive and understanding of this.
Awesome Username Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I honestly don't know why she is bothered. People are just different, I guess. I would kill for a situation like that with a man I loved.
Woggle Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 The sad thing is that if she looked at the bigger picture she would support you through this and have a much better life for the both of you afterwards. Inthis economy nobody in their right mind would pass up something like this and with women's increaed financial independence I wish they would be more understanding.
meerkat stew Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Give her a galaxy worth of space then, and concentrate on your work. She's being very unreasonable IMO.
Recommended Posts