feeling guilty

[emjay22]

I am still going through a lot of emotions with my recent break-up: anger, sadness, excitement, etc.

Overwhelmingly, though, I feel a sense of guilt. Unfortunately, I've been an open book with my ex over the last couple of days. I'm not reaching out to him, but he always decides to text me when he knows I just got home after work with the baby. It's like he's messing with my head and bothering me just to get a reaction.

Basically, we ended because a few nights ago he got very drunk, started acting and sounding possessed, and I got scared and called the cops. He's like, a foot taller than me, so though he didn't take a swing or anything, I wasn't taking any chances (luckily our baby was elsewhere that night).

Anyways, initially he was pissed off because he couldn't believe I did that to him. Then he left & I assume talked to his mom (she had been begging me earlier to "work it out" with him). When he came back, he apologized, but it wasn't sincere. I never accepted it. I told him he could stay the night in the other room, get all his ****, and leave the next day. NO more talking about making it work (we'd been through "talking" stages 3 times in the last 3.5 years already).

Anyways, bottom line, the guy used me. He even admitted to it at one point. Took him 3 years to admit to one affair, don't know when/if there were others. He blew through 13 jobs in the 3.5 years together, quitting every one of them. Never held down a job longer than 6 months at one time.

Pathetic. I'm writing this, and it's so pathetic. So I'm wondering why am I feeling guilty? When I know I tried more than I had to to make it work (or fail, actually)? I feel worse thinking about what this will do to our baby. Guess I just needed to vent.

[kwyser]

Don't feel guilty. And its good that you decided to vent and tell some people about it, that is a great way to heal. You may just be feeling guilty because of the baby.

 

Don't worry, time heals all wounds, and you don't need to feel guilty about anything.