hydroponic Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 hey so i really wanna get all this out..words of advice are appreciated..sorry if its a little lengthy or unclear Ive only been dating this girl for a MONTH. and i just dont understand how i can feel so ****ty over it. i poured my heart into her, because she used to tell me she wanted to be with me forever, and she'd want no one else, and it wont ever change..and i was stupid enough to believed her..i shouldve just ended it there..ugh. then she goes and says "oh, i dont know if i love you..i dont know you that well." , and we went on a break. then she says she just wants to be friends, and it isn't a break anymore. i just want to be over these feelings for her.. ever since, shes just been testing my patience, and pushing my buttons..and 2 days ago she went to hang out with her friends, and she told me she kissed another guy..and it tore me up..and i got mad..and felt like she was moving on while i was still stuck here.. and i told her today i was starting to see her in a different light, and she was self centered. i was starting to get over her, just a littttle bit. ive always been the one making effort to talk to her. when i hang out with my friends, im texting her, sometimes go off into the distance to speak on the phone with her, but when she was with HER friends, and i texted HER, she didnt even reply til she got home(this is all AFTER the breakup). So today I just started not making so much effort, and she asked why i wasn't talking to her.. i feeel like she thought i was wrapped around her finger..that i was at her disposal. She says the reason why she did all of it was to help me get over her. and i said i didnt believe her, so she brings her ex (who is still her friend) into the conversation, and he backs her up. i still think its bull****, but who knows....she says she always does it to guys, and its a 'natural defense mechanism'. and that's like wow, so i'm just another guy it didn't work out with to her.. i don't know what to do. i want to just say **** it, and just stop talking to her, but that seems like the easy way out. I want to keep in contact with her, but it tears me up to do so. ive never been so tangled in my emotions.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 She doesn't really know what she wants. She said she loved you and then her mind changes and she doesn't love you anymore. She just wants to be friends. If you still have feelings for her, then I don't think you can be friends with her. Just STOP ALL CONTACT with her. Don't reply to her messages, texts, calls, whatever. It is a painful experience when someone tells you they love you and want to be with you forever and ends up telling you they want to be friends. I feel sorry for you because you did what any decent person would do; you trusted her. But, if you really love someone, your actions rather then words show that. You might realise that she probably is not the girl for you later on. She is moving on and you have to as well. You can't always be at her disposal and make an effort to talk to her. She is your ex. You are stroking her ego by making a lot of effort with her even though you guys are over. She knows you still want her. Hang out with your own exclusive friends. Work out. Go do stuff that you have always wanted and leave your ex alone. NO CONTACT. Best of luck.
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