aroll32 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Exactly, it seems like you understand what I am trying to say. Some people just can't handle serious matter like that. Only because they are weak. A strong person would comfort you about your troubles, not walk the other way
Chitowngirl Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Telling someone you bit your toenails through highschool is NOT THE SAME as admitting you are TWICE DIVORCED, HAVE A CHILD YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE, AND HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. If someone I was crazy about told me about these things two months into our relationship, I would probably LEAVE THEM ASAP. Personally I have no desires to be with someone with all that baggage. IMO You should have told him these things from the START. Plus, you shouldn't have to HIDE your past or who you ARE! If he doesn't accept it, he's not meant for you! I met him over the Internet about six months ago. We clicked instantly, and although for curiosity's sake we each went on one date with another person after our first date with each other, by our second date we knew we wanted to be exclusive. Jake was wonderful. He's a professor at a nearby college, brilliant, stimulating, witty, fun, SO attractive, thoughtful, chivalrous and faithful. Sexually and romantically innocent - barely touched. Somehow, however, has an unusually large penis!.. the model boyfriend, the likes of which I never believed could exist. I was in seventh heaven thinking I'd finally found THE one I'd been waiting for. One day two months down the line he pushed and pushed me to tell him my deepest, darkest secrets, which I'd already told him were best left unsaid. He pushed hard enough that I confessed about my legal troubles (including bench warrants), my two failed marriages (one of which included domestic violence), and my kid whom I haven't been allowed to see in two years. WELL! Right then and there he shut off and started talking about how this all scared him, and how he'll be taking off in the fall and might or might not want to take me along. Fantastic. I've been a model girlfriend and this is what I get for opening up. WORD TO THE WISE, LADIES! HONESTY IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY AND SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID! For example, does your man need to know you bit your toenails throughout high school?! This creates a rift between us which we try to patch up - oh, I sure tried, treating him like a king every step of the way - but, of course, after four months of being together I start dropping subtle hints about the future. He's not stupid and repeats that he might be going it alone when he hits school again. This is New Year's Eve and he says it in the most hurtful manner. I say something along the lines of, "I'm sincere with you because I trust you, because I see you as my partner! Don't you see me as your partner?" To which he responds, "No, honestly, I don't!" The blowout starts there. He apologizes profusely for that horrid statement for a while, but the damage has been done. Friction has been incessant ever since. I'm bitter and hurt and resentful, and he's exasperated that I'm bitter. Something happened yesterday. I can't even remember what. I certainly did not wrong him in any way. He'd told me his reluctance to commit may be due to the fact that he hasn't had enough experience and opportunity to sow his wild oats, and I happily offered him dates with attractive acquaintances of mine! In my mind, the sooner he gets it out of his system, the sooner we can be together happily (or know for sure we can't be). No, he says. It's uncomfortable. He can't bring himself to do it. Then he basically tells me he can't be with me anymore - no way, no how, and he won't budge. I'm ashamed to admit I begged, condemned and tried to reason for hours, but he was adamant as always. He sticks to his guns on principle no matter how jammed they are, no matter how beautiful our love has been. Why, just last week, he looked me straight in the eye and told me, "Fay, I am SO in love with you. I love you so much! You are the best thing that ever happened to me!" Ten days later, he's telling me he "loves me, but less than he used to." TEN DAYS?! What a jackass! What kind of a fickle lover did I end up with?? Our love was so pure, perfect, idyllic for months... then two days of fighting made it magically disappear! What the heck is wrong with this guy?! I love him so much and always have!! Please tell me how to win him back! I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him... It's important that you know he confessed to me that I am his first love. I am so confused.
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