slayter Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Ok i dont really know what im doing here.. I dont know whos fault the breakup was... So how about i give a rundown on our relationship. When we met i was in my partying days... Drinking every weekend. Sex with random girls... So it was hard to convince here that i could change for her and be the best damn man i can be. Eventually she gave me a chance after doing everything i could to prove i had changed, i was all about her.. So here we are.. a fresh couple, working out kinks and all that.. But later down the line i slipped up.. Went to a party and wound up making out with some random girl.. I felt horrible,, it was right after i told her i had fallen in love with her.. I dint know what to do. Well she found out... we fought, worked it out and she gave me another chance. Here we are a little farther into our relationship... Everythings going fabulous and what do i do? I **** up again.. get drunk. Make out with a random girl.. And after a long fight i was forgiven again... I dont know why she gave me so many chances but she did. Now heres where her screwing me comes into play. Around the 9 month mark in our relationship i decided to go visit my mom in another town. It was christmas and i wanted to buy her all kinds of ****.. Well i did buy her all kinds of ****.. The next day she comes up to visit, i give her her gifts, everythings fine.. COME TO FIND OUT. while i was christmas shopping for her she decides to get drunk and go **** one of my good friends! Now i guess im not as forgiving as her because i went ape ****.. Told her she was nothing to me... God i said some bad things to her.. But i finally cooled down a few weeks later and we started talking again, trying to get things back on track.. Now HERE WE ARE. I live in a seperate town from her now, and all she does is run around and want to have fun while i sit up here worrying about her non stop. We always fight.. Work things out for a day or so.. Then fight some more... i cant handle that and i dont guess she realises it... God i really just donjt know what to do, our last messages tonight ended with me telling her im going to **** a random slut because she was hanging around my 'friend' that she ****ed. We are not together but i dont know if i should even try anymore to work things out... Or move on.. I really need help guys im falling to peices
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 You said yourself that you guys work things out and end up fighting again. I think you should move on. It is a really messy situation and you both have made mistakes. Some of them reprehensible. Be fair to her and be fair to yourself. If deep down you know this is going to keep going on like that (and don't kid yourself), then why try to salvage something that is going to end anyways? Move on and don't contact her again. If you really did feel something for her then calm down a little and stop saying nasty things to her. I know it hurt when she got together with your friend. I would not tolerate it too. I would also not have tolerated you getting drunk and making out with other girls. But that's besides the point. That's in the past. Now, you have to just forget about her and not put so much emphasis on getting your relationship together because it's just not going to work. Best of luck.
USMCHokie Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I have no sympathy for you. You could always keep trying to work things out, but people don't change. She deserves better than you. But then again, cheaters deserve each other, so maybe it'll be great if you can work it out. Two less single cheaters in this world. Maybe you should figure out what you want before you worry about someone else in your life.
Author slayter Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 She deserves better than you. Shes ****ed me over just as bad as i did her. I told her she could do better than me but she said she only wanted me... Then she decides to **** a good friend. Kissing a stranger. ****ing a friend. Which is worse? Then hanging out with the guy after she did it..
malc Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Sounds like you guys are not compatible or want to be in a full on relationship hence the infidelity. Your both cheating on each other loads, so end it right here, become single again, then get drunk and have a new new girl who is willing on whatever night you want, but dont get into a full on relationship until you are sure you wont cheat again, this forums purpose is to deal with broken hearts, and you will really destroy someone if you cheat on them when they are undeserving of it. So, end things, go out, have your uncommitted fun, but dont enter a relationship until the cheating/sleeping around aspect of your life is gone.
Author slayter Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Well put i guess... Sad thing is i think im done with the single random girl all the time. But as soon as i started proving that i get screwed over... Just dont know what to do
malc Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 My two cents of advice, if you are sure your done with the sleeping with random girls scene, and ready to move on, then leave her, its not worth it, you have both hurt each other so bad, it will be impossible to work through this without constant reminders propping up from time to time. To you, there will be constant reminders that she made off with your good friend. Move on, do not contact her, i mean NC, do not take her calls, take a month or two months to sort your life out and pick up the pieces, do what you need to do e.g. excel at your job, hit the gym etc then when you are sure your committed enough, you will find someone that cares about you, and as long as you dont hurt her, or she does not hurt you, you will break through from this cycle of infidelity. But this present girl in your life is definately a NO-GO, however hard you try, you will end up hurt with the past, reminders, or more cheating ahead in the future. Maybe you may see her again one day when you guys have changed your ways, but dont hold onto that hope for now. NC is the way to go.
ducknrun Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 total agree with malc I wish I could listen to that advice too. I was a little more progressed with my relationship when she cheated on me, and I hadn't done anything. I tried for over a year to fix it... well a good seven months and then I just became bitter about it. We fought back and forth. We had are good days too but they were usually followed by fighting. I finally got rid of her before the holidays which I can say is the worst time... it sucked... it has been hard... but I started to feel better finally and NC is the way to go. Find some way to get your mind off her. I 'm not saying to go back to random girls but some kind of middle ground... Only you know what’s right for you
kwyser Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 You're going through a very rough time right now, and it sounds like she is only making it worse. This constant on and off fighting must be causing you an incredible amount of stress and heartache. You both messed up, and you both continue to fight. I would say it is time for you to end it completely.
LostInLimbo Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Im no expert but thats a disaster waiting to happen if you both get back together.....so who will get hurt if you try again? the both of you..... LiL
Author slayter Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Thank you all very much... You've really helped me here.. NC
Silver_star Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Well put i guess... Sad thing is i think im done with the single random girl all the time. But as soon as i started proving that i get screwed over... Just dont know what to do You said you were done with the single random girls all the time...but sure enough wait til you get to that banging party...and POW your making out with her again. So maybe you werent ready. Maybe you have some growing up to do. I dont know what need is driving you to make out with girls at a party when you just told someone else you loved them and made a commitment to them. Its a lie. Maybe you need to work on yourself. Relationship aside..work on yourself so you can be better for who ever is in your future and never HURT them. Just because she forgave u doesnt mean it didnt HURT like hell, and i assure you she never forgot. She likely didnt do it out of spite, but once you hurt someone they need to emotionally detach themselves from you in order to feel safe. Im not defending her actions but im saying this relationship was doomed when you broke her trust.
Always A Lesson Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 You broke her heart several times, she held the pain in, FORGAVE you, but NEVER FORGOT..........(a woman's scorn) Opportunity came...........BAM....She got you where it hurts the most ! Sexing one of your friends. ( biiiiig time no-no) It was calculated, revengeful, and it worked! She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted you to bleed like her heart bled, she wanted you to feel the pain that she felt.... Lesson Learned....... Be mindful of how you live your life.....random girls, drinking etc....especially in a relationship, it can come back to bite you, and it did. Is it over? Possibly, if it's worth it, both need to take responsibility in cleaning it up, if both parties don't agree, it's a goner. Then NC all the way. It may be worth one more attempt, if the past continues to happen on either side, then you already have your answer. Personally, too much bad has happened to move forward with (no foundation of trust or anything) , just my opinion.... As Always...
nobmagnet Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 may I tell you a tale?? Its a true tale. I would like you personally to reflect on this and it by no means a dig at you I would like you to learn about yourself. Choose to read it or not. A man called.....lets say Low. He mat his first girl at uni he was a year in and it was f*ck a fresher week, he did and they stayed together thro uni. He finished his degree they married and moved in with his mum n dad till they had money (she came from a nasty family) anyhoo he f*cked anything that has a pulse throughout their 3 year marriage,,,,,,treated her badly too (probably out of qualifying his terrible behaviour) so eventually after him resenting her so much she asked for a separation. He agreed (because he wouldnt look bad, she asked right??) One night he asked to pick up some stuff, she said she was busy. ( how very dare she be unavailable to me????!!!!) so Low drove round a 100 mile trip. He arrived having been told she was unavailable.........there was a stange car parked on the drive! WTF he thought?? How very dare she??? So he walked round the back of the house to see what was going on. As he peeked through the window,,,,,,,,OMG There she was, naked on their sofa having the best sh*g she probaly has ever had!!!! Destroyed he staggered away.........how could she???? so the lesson..................dont do to others you are not willing to accept yourself. what you did to her, you should be ashamed. Dont blame her for doing the same. Learn from it. DONT ever disrespect somebody you love. Nobby xx (by the way its my ex and his beutiful intelligent first wife not me)
Author slayter Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 You said you were done with the single random girls all the time...but sure enough wait til you get to that banging party...and POW your making out with her again. So maybe you werent ready. Maybe you have some growing up to do. I dont know what need is driving you to make out with girls at a party when you just told someone else you loved them and made a commitment to them. Its a lie. Maybe you need to work on yourself. Relationship aside..work on yourself so you can be better for who ever is in your future and never HURT them. Just because she forgave u doesnt mean it didnt HURT like hell, and i assure you she never forgot. She likely didnt do it out of spite, but once you hurt someone they need to emotionally detach themselves from you in order to feel safe. Im not defending her actions but im saying this relationship was doomed when you broke her trust. Thank you for that... I DO need to work on myself.. not much more to say but thank you very much... i have to grow up a bit and treat my next girl RIGHT, no matter what the temptation.. I got some reflecting and growing up to do..........
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