xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Sorry guys, if this turns out to be another rant, but I'm feeling really, really jaded right now. I mean I'm not an unattractive person, I get called cute more than hot, but by no definition am I undesirable. Yet, it seems I'm not worth the effort to ask out. I practically don't even have any more high standards than the fact that I will never want to date anyone like my ex, but most guys I have came across lately, aren't my ex. They're stable, levelheaded guys that have a lot of potential. What? Am I intimidating? That has to be it right? Just because I speak my mind and is open sexually doesn't necessarily spell " undateable". And WTH, why would anyone not think I'm interested if I'm already flirting with them and giving them unwarranted attention as is? Are they that BLIND? I'm trying to date within my age group, but why on earth would a video game be more important than getting to know? Or am I just attracted to emotionally unavailable men? Can someone point me in the right direction where the sane, emotionally available ones are? And yes, I am that assertive.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I like assertive with girls If you are flirting with them and know that you are interested, I don't see why they would not ask you out. They are probably intimidated. I thought there would be emotionally available guys everywhere, probably even among the guys you talk to. So, don't feel jaded for too long. Feel free to rant more though!
Crazy Magnet Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I've often asked myself the same thing. Where are all the normal ones? And why do only the crazy men ask me out?!? I had to go be assertive and actively seek out the type I wanted to end up with and then go for it. Even though I met him online, I asked my now BF to meet up, and was the one who said I didn't want to date anybody else (and hoped he felt the same way.) It worked for me, so maybe it can work for you.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 That would probably work. Guys would probably find it harder to do that. You'll be more likely to get what you want if you go for it. What if I flip the question around and ask where can we find you cute, emotionally available, assertive, normal girls? LOL, some guys get frustrated because they keep meeting the same shallow girls.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 I like assertive with girls If you are flirting with them and know that you are interested, I don't see why they would not ask you out. They are probably intimidated. I thought there would be emotionally available guys everywhere, probably even among the guys you talk to. So, don't feel jaded for too long. Feel free to rant more though! Seriously, some guys just don't know what they want. I'm trying not to wait around for a guy to make a move ( because he could just have been on LS asking if waiting 3 days to call is aproppriate). I'm breaking the rules and going out of my way to flirt, playfully touch, and attract them. I mean I even use my favorite perfume I got over Christmas. But no luck, they won't budge.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 That would probably work. Guys would probably find it harder to do that. You'll be more likely to get what you want if you go for it. What if I flip the question around and ask where can we find you cute, emotionally available, assertive, normal girls? LOL, some guys get frustrated because they keep meeting the same shallow girls. Simple answer- everyone's too jaded so they miss out.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Seriously, some guys just don't know what they want. I'm trying not to wait around for a guy to make a move ( because he could just have been on LS asking if waiting 3 days to call is aproppriate). I'm breaking the rules and going out of my way to flirt, playfully touch, and attract them. I mean I even use my favorite perfume I got over Christmas. But no luck, they won't budge. Wow, that is a bit weird. Yeah, they probably don't have a clue what they really want. I think it would leave them wide open for a move, but not even one of them budged? They can't ALL be not interested. I know it might not seem ideal, but maybe try asking one out and see what happens? Just a suggestion. I firmly believe that guys should ask the girl out and make the first move though. Simple answer- everyone's too jaded so they miss out. I was pretty jaded myself! I just wasn't up for it anymore but I'll see how it goes this year. It's funny how some of the guys don't know what they're missing out on!
boogieboy Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 If youre going out of your way to flirt, but they dont respond, its because youre going for guys that dont like you. Try asking them for their numbers after you do all this flirting. Maybe the guys you want dont like asian women.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 If youre going out of your way to flirt, but they dont respond, its because youre going for guys that dont like you. Try asking them for their numbers after you do all this flirting. Maybe the guys you want dont like asian women. B_B to the rescue! Nope, I'm actually going for guys who are available and to be honest they have no problem with Asian women. In fact, some of them are Asian men. what gives?
boogieboy Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 B_B to the rescue! Nope, I'm actually going for guys who are available and to be honest they have no problem with Asian women. In fact, some of them are Asian men. what gives? Ok cool, that knocks out that problem.... How many guys have you flirted with and gotten nowhere? If its less than 10, then youre not approaching enough guys. (not in the same room of course)
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Ok cool, that knocks out that problem.... How many guys have you flirted with and gotten nowhere? If its less than 10, then youre not approaching enough guys. (not in the same room of course) I suppose I just dont fit the asian stereotype. I'm not introverted, I'm very outgoing. I love humor and practically love having a good time. I'm very feminine as well. I dress up nice, I look casual, yet, sexy.... And I practically flirted with about 3-4 guys. I did give them my number, asked for theirs as well.
boogieboy Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I suppose I just dont fit the asian stereotype. I'm not introverted, I'm very outgoing. I love humor and practically love having a good time. I'm very feminine as well. I dress up nice, I look casual, yet, sexy.... And I practically flirted with about 3-4 guys. I did give them my number, asked for theirs as well. 3-4? then youre on a roll, its a numbers and persistence game, but you will get what you want. Keep it going.
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Sorry guys, if this turns out to be another rant, but I'm feeling really, really jaded right now. I mean I'm not an unattractive person, I get called cute more than hot, but by no definition am I undesirable. Yet, it seems I'm not worth the effort to ask out. I practically don't even have any more high standards than the fact that I will never want to date anyone like my ex, but most guys I have came across lately, aren't my ex. They're stable, levelheaded guys that have a lot of potential. What? Am I intimidating? That has to be it right? Just because I speak my mind and is open sexually doesn't necessarily spell " undateable". And WTH, why would anyone not think I'm interested if I'm already flirting with them and giving them unwarranted attention as is? Are they that BLIND? I'm trying to date within my age group, but why on earth would a video game be more important than getting to know? Or am I just attracted to emotionally unavailable men? Can someone point me in the right direction where the sane, emotionally available ones are? And yes, I am that assertive. You sound VERY much like my ex... Asian, VERY assertive, VERY sexually open, got her stuff all straightened out! Not everyone you approach or want you to approach would do that. That's just how life is. Hmm maybe we need to see what you look like, then I can analyze
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 B_B to the rescue! ...In fact, some of them are Asian men. what gives? Ha! There's your ultimate follie my friend... you assume too much!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Ha! There's your ultimate follie my friend... you assume too much! Actually you are right on this. I know some Asian guys are attracted to white girls. But then again I'm mostly attracted to white guys.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 You sound VERY much like my ex... Asian, VERY assertive, VERY sexually open, got her stuff all straightened out! Not everyone you approach or want you to approach would do that. That's just how life is. Hmm maybe we need to see what you look like, then I can analyze Is that why she was your ex? Actually, I have dyed hair, nice lips, nice eyes ( with contacts), slim/petite but short (5'3).
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Is that why she was your ex? Actually, I have dyed hair, nice lips, nice eyes ( with contacts), slim/petite but short (5'3). No she's my ex for another reason. But I do like girls like her. She's really gotten her act together, knows what she wants, great in bed... oh well. Ya you should stick with white dudes, Asian guys are "too safe", usually 40 yr olds after their first divorce goes for Asian dudes
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 No she's my ex for another reason. But I do like girls like her. She's really gotten her act together, knows what she wants, great in bed... oh well. Ya you should stick with white dudes, Asian guys are "too safe", usually 40 yr olds after their first divorce goes for Asian dudes Haha yea I love sex... lol Oh god you're so right about the " too safe " part. It's like they won't put in any effort in dating you unless they can see themselves marrying you. Way, way too much overthinking on things.
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Haha yea I love sex... lol Oh god you're so right about the " too safe " part. It's like they won't put in any effort in dating you unless they can see themselves marrying you. Way, way too much overthinking on things. hey great! So where do you want me to wait for you? I think what I meant by "safe" is, we are usually more stable, that's why divorced women after their turbulent marriages, would go for us. But then it's too late! So judging by the description you gave me, I can form absolutely no image of what you look like! Although for ME, I only date girls no shorter than 5'7", yes I'm picky but hey it works so far
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 hey great! So where do you want me to wait for you? I think what I meant by "safe" is, we are usually more stable, that's why divorced women after their turbulent marriages, would go for us. But then it's too late! So judging by the description you gave me, I can form absolutely no image of what you look like! Although for ME, I only date girls no shorter than 5'7", yes I'm picky but hey it works so far 5'7? yeah haha, not that common for asian girls but okay? lol And I usually go for tall guys as long as I don't tower over them in heels then it's all good. But yeah, I think I'm still at that stage where if I do settle down with an Asian guy it'll be when I'm at least 30 something and looking to marry because my parents don't want me to be a spinster and they want grandchildren.
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 (edited) 5'7? yeah haha, not that common for asian girls but okay? lol And I usually go for tall guys as long as I don't tower over them in heels then it's all good. But yeah, I think I'm still at that stage where if I do settle down with an Asian guy it'll be when I'm at least 30 something and looking to marry because my parents don't want me to be a spinster and they want grandchildren. Ah all my ex's were at least 5'7" One though was like 5'10"! They do exist!! 5'7" is more common in asian girls than you think, I usually go for girls coming from northern chinese background or Shanghainese background, that is where I am from. There's lots of tall Shanghainese girls But anyway enough about me. Hmm, are you going with Asian guy for marriage because of your family influence? You shouldn't do that really. I mean just be mindful when choosing the person you want to date and potentionally want to marry. I wouldn't just date around to get a bf for now just cuz, then dump him when you feel like you want to settle down, and the type of person you want to settle down with is a different kind of person. But what do i know, it's the United States of Whatever these days. Well just good luck, don't get hurt, don't hurt anyone, and don't get pregnant! Edited February 3, 2010 by Pizzaman81
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Ah all my ex's were at least 5'7" One though was like 5'10"! They do exist!! 5'7" is more common in asian girls than you think, I usually go for girls coming from northern chinese background or Shanghainese background, that is where I am from. There's lots of tall Shanghainese girls Ahh see... my family are from the South like Guangzhou and Hong Kong.
Pizzaman81 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Ahh see... my family are from the South like Guangzhou and Hong Kong. Yep we are very different people However, sometimes I find Chinese from South are a bit more warm hearted at times. Us big urban city people tend to be a bit... snobbish and materialistic. I think you'll be fine! The problem with people like me dating in my own culture is that I am so much more critical in like where they are from, family background, family status etc... we tend to criticize our own people a bit more when choosing mates. In the US, it's a bit more relaxed. I don't think many care what area you're from because they are not from there. They just see "HEY CUTE ASIAN GIRL!" then they go for her. Haha maybe that's why lots of Asian girls like white guys, cuz we're just too uptight
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Yep we are very different people However, sometimes I find Chinese from South are a bit more warm hearted at times. Us big urban city people tend to be a bit... snobbish and materialistic. I think you'll be fine! The problem with people like me dating in my own culture is that I am so much more critical in like where they are from, family background, family status etc... we tend to criticize our own people a bit more when choosing mates. In the US, it's a bit more relaxed. I don't think many care what area you're from because they are not from there. They just see "HEY CUTE ASIAN GIRL!" then they go for her. Haha maybe that's why lots of Asian girls like white guys, cuz we're just too uptight And that's why I do not want to get married. And the bolded.
paddington bear Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 paper despite what many men say, when it comes down to it they are often intimidated by assertive women, particularly those that are sexually assertive. I watched an interesting documentary last night about men and what they want when it comes to flirting. Interestingly all the men chose the overly flirtatious girl as the one that they'd have a ONS with, and the others were seen as more long-term prospects. It was mentioned that if you are open about liking sex, come on strong that men will instantly think 'oh, how many other men has she been with, will I match up, I'm scared I won't. I'll avoid'. What was also mentioned was the girl out of the choices who said very little. All men were intrigued, wanted to know more. She made them curious. If you lay it on the line 'this is what I'm like, this is what I want, this is what you are going to get' you lose your mysteriousness and don't spark the interest in men to find out more about you over time. Also, perhaps that stereotype of demure little Asian girls is what attracts men to you (unfair as that might be) when you are not like this image of you that they had in their head and so they avoid I've no idea if any of this relates to you or not as I don't know your flirting style (I personally am totally useless), but if any of it makes any sense, perhaps try toning it down, if you're cute and feminine to start with, you've cut through a lot of problems in terms of gaining that initial spark of interest from men. Beyond that flirt, but not so aggressively as before. Many guys love a little bit of a challenge, not so much that they think they'd never get you, but not either that they know it's there for them on a plate.
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