Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Last Thursday night, I was at a restaurant opening & met a guy. We talked for a half hour or so, hit it off, and he asked for my number before I left. An hour and a half later, he texts me & asks me to go out on Saturday. I already had plans, so I said I was busy but open to hanging out another time. He suggested next Friday, I said yes, and asked that he call me closer to Friday to work out the details. Throughout the texting "conversation", he was very complimentary and mentioned numerous times how much fun he had with me and how attractive he found me. Haven't heard from him since. Now it's Tuesday night & my roommate asked me to go out with her and some friends on Friday. Is it acceptable to make other plans since I haven't heard from him? When should the "cut off" date be? Should there be a cut off date? I'm interested in this guy (we had a lot of fun together), but I feel like we may be in different places in life so I'm not sure if there's long-term potential.
Ashkayi Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Well you arent in a relationship and you havent heard from him so its safe to say you have the right to do whatever you choose. Id go out, he has your cell number so if he finally comes around maybe you could meet up later Goodluck.
soulm8 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Why not text him and let him know your friends want to go out Friday? See if he replies, and how... and then decide.
skydiveaddict Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Yes it's acceptable he should have called you by now. I certainly would have. kinda rude of him actually IMO
soulm8 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Yes it's acceptable he should have called you by now. I certainly would have. kinda rude of him actually IMO It's only Tuesday! He could very well be planning to firm it up tomorrow.
Barky Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 ummm... did he SAY he was going to contact you by some date? I'd text him to say "so, what's happening Friday, let me know if we're still on so I can make my weekend plans."
Author Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 He said he would contact me before Friday to firm up the details, but didn't give an exact date. He very well could contact me tomorrow, which would be fine, but something about waiting until Thursday rubs me the wrong way. I know I could reach out to him to double check but I don't want to come across as overeager or heavily invested.
skydiveaddict Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 It's only Tuesday! He could very well be planning to firm it up tomorrow. That's true. But if like a girl, if i say i'm gonna make plans w/ her I do it! Girls don't like to be left wondering. She got another offer for fri. night and he hasn't called yet. He should have IMO
Author Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 That's true. But if like a girl, if i say i'm gonna make plans w/ her I do it! Girls don't like to be left wondering. She got another offer for fri. night and he hasn't called yet. He should have IMO I like the way you think.
soulm8 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 That's true. But if like a girl, if i say i'm gonna make plans w/ her I do it! Girls don't like to be left wondering. She got another offer for fri. night and he hasn't called yet. He should have IMO I agree with that - I just didn't think it was rude to not have contacted her as of yet. OP, it's inevitably up to you... but the more I think about it (since you just met him), I'd just wait and see when/if he actually gets back to you. If it's not reasonable, then you can either let him know or chalk it up to he wasn't that interested.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Well, you did say call him closer to friday but then again thursday would be cutting a bit to fine and I would understand if you felt kind of turned off by that. How long do you have to get back to your friends by? I think maybe give him the wednesday to call you if you are really interested, then just go with your friends if he doesn't call.
Author Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Well, you did say call him closer to friday but then again thursday would be cutting a bit to fine and I would understand if you felt kind of turned off by that. How long do you have to get back to your friends by? I think maybe give him the wednesday to call you if you are really interested, then just go with your friends if he doesn't call. I was with my roommate when I met him, so she's being really cool & saying, "If you hear from him & you're still up for it, go. If not, you can always come up with us." But I think if I don't hear back by Wednesday, I might say I made other plans since I didn't hear from him. I don't want to him to think I'm not interested, because I am, but I also don't want him to think he can get away with that either. I think he may be playing it cool because he made his interest extremely clear the night we met.
mortensorchid Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Give it one more day. If you still haven't heard from him by Wednesday evening, make the other plans with your roommate or whoever. He said he would call / text you and make the plan and he hasn't. I think he should CALL you too, not text plans to you. Your roommate is nice to be so flexible, but don't cancel other plans because you get a date at the last minute. He should pursue you, your company is what he should be happy to have not the other way around. Doesn't matter if he's a prince or a criminal. And don't cancel your other plans if he calls you at the last minute.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 That's extremely cool of your roommate. I agree with you, that if he doesn't get back to you by wednesday, then should probably stick to your other plans. Some guys like to play it cool, they like to pretend that they are "busy" so that's why he didn't have a chance to call you early (so it seems). But yes, it's not a good idea to keep a girl waiting. He probably thought he was too eager when you guys met and wanted to make up for it by making it seem he has other things going for him. Can't let him have his way I think if someone is really interested, they would follow up sooner rather than later. Have a fun night either way!
Author Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Thanks for the advice! I'm giving him until tomorrow night and then confirming plans with my roommate. I think expecting 48 hours notice is reasonable? Hopefully he is able to realize that my saying I have other plans isn't about not being interested, but in about him not contacting me soon enough.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I think it is reasonable, because he has to also be respectful and mindful that you could have other plans. You aren't going to wait around for him. So, would you say it's up to him to ask you if he could possibly set up another time to meet up (if he doesn't call by tomorrow night that is)? If he takes it that you are no interested, then he might not ask again.
Author Cinderella7 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 I think it is reasonable, because he has to also be respectful and mindful that you could have other plans. You aren't going to wait around for him. So, would you say it's up to him to ask you if he could possibly set up another time to meet up (if he doesn't call by tomorrow night that is)? If he takes it that you are no interested, then he might not ask again. I think I would mention that even though I have other plans due to not hearing from him, I would be open to rescheduling. Hopefully that will demonstrate that I'm interested without making him think I'm a pushover.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I think I would mention that even though I have other plans due to not hearing from him, I would be open to rescheduling. Hopefully that will demonstrate that I'm interested without making him think I'm a pushover. I like that. He learns a lesson and you still get to go out with someone you're interested in.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 IMO - don't put your life on hold for a man. Go out Friday. "You snooze, you lose." He should've made concrete plans with you sooner.
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