McGrupp Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 i guess im wandering in between the acceptance stage and the anger stage. so im getting really angry lately when i think about how she acted. like telling me a still had a shot, but i shouldnt wait around. that i got dumped on the phone when I called her, that she never even saw me in person after the breakup after the last time we hung out we had a blast blah blah blah. i know i need to move on and whatever. just pisses me off. just ****ing pisses me off. this person i cared for so much throwing everything away without even talking. ugh!!!!!!! i blame myself i blame myself i blame myself. im going to vent now....kinda drunk so... mcgrupping it up!!! ok so i ****ed up. i ****ed up i ****ed up. i didnt give her space. she said i was smothering her and i couldnt take it. i freaked out. im going to go through it again . and then i was so ****ed up, so ****ed up and so depressed and freaking out that i called her and begged and said to go **** herself. and then the worst is before this whole thing happened i told her it was done and she begged to take me back and i was so crazy that 10 days later we were done. because i had no self control. and thats it and its the biggest lessoon ive ever learned but **** man i miss her and she prolly is getting ****ed right now and do you get over your mistakes when they change your life in such a huge and monumental way and make you hurt more then anything and make you realize you might die alone and that we are alone and that sometimes life just isnt fair...ya know?
Ashkayi Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Well life in general isnt fair. Its far from it. I have learned in the past 4 years that life will not be anything that you want it to be, unless you start making the effort to change and do what you know is right. The biggest lesson in life is failure.. Its being made to feel what its like to lose something, someone, to be hurt, etc.. All the human emotions that God gave us is to make us into stronger people. Some of us just cant cope and lose our way.. Anyway, never look back, just keep looking forward. How long we are in the wilderness is up to us.. Good luck.
XKatieX Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 She made the mistake Mcgrupp, you had every right to feel the way you did..by the way she was acting and doing things with other guys. She not only has the loss of losing a good friend, but someone that really cared about her. You have to tell yourself that if she's not with you now, then it wasn't meant to be. If she really loved you, she would have given you a chance..she would have worked on the problems you had together. Anyone that truly loves you will stick with you until the end, through thick/thin. Any person that does not do that, is just not the right person for you. It is hard to accept, and hard to tell yourself that but sometimes we have to trick our minds, to allow ourselves to move on.
Perhaps Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 i guess im wandering in between the acceptance stage and the anger stage. so im getting really angry lately when i think about how she acted. like telling me a still had a shot, but i shouldnt wait around. that i got dumped on the phone when I called her, that she never even saw me in person after the breakup after the last time we hung out we had a blast blah blah blah. i know i need to move on and whatever. just pisses me off. just ****ing pisses me off. this person i cared for so much throwing everything away without even talking. ugh!!!!!!! i blame myself i blame myself i blame myself. im going to vent now....kinda drunk so... mcgrupping it up!!! ok so i ****ed up. i ****ed up i ****ed up. i didnt give her space. she said i was smothering her and i couldnt take it. i freaked out. im going to go through it again . and then i was so ****ed up, so ****ed up and so depressed and freaking out that i called her and begged and said to go **** herself. and then the worst is before this whole thing happened i told her it was done and she begged to take me back and i was so crazy that 10 days later we were done. because i had no self control. and thats it and its the biggest lessoon ive ever learned but **** man i miss her and she prolly is getting ****ed right now and do you get over your mistakes when they change your life in such a huge and monumental way and make you hurt more then anything and make you realize you might die alone and that we are alone and that sometimes life just isnt fair...ya know? I'd give you a hug right about now... I hope you didn't drink for the wrong reasons. C'mon, mate. You're not gonna die alone. For now, anyway, you need to avoid contact with her and shift the focus on yourself. Some time alone will help you gain perspective; this anger isn't healthy.
Author McGrupp Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 i mean im not going to do anything ot her or myself. its just like, "really? really? this is why we are breaking up? really? ok fine" i wish i said that ****. i wish i said it instead of begging etc. because really? really? at one point she said ii watch too much football. that i cared to much she cheated. i mean ****ing really? really? **** her man, **** her...really?
Perhaps Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 i mean im not going to do anything ot her or myself. its just like, "really? really? this is why we are breaking up? really? ok fine" i wish i said that ****. i wish i said it instead of begging etc. because really? really? at one point she said ii watch too much football. that i cared to much she cheated. i mean ****ing really? really? **** her man, **** her...really? *hug* For one night, forget her. Forget everything. It's just you - this is where you are now. If she's gone, fine, whatever. It's her loss and we both know it and we both know you're better than this. Think of this as a fresh start, McGrupp.
health Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Mcgrupp. I understand your pain. Honestly you need to chill bro. I read alot of your posts. You still have strong feelings for her. Ya I think the same things...like being alone etc. You have to learn how to be comfortable alone! Doing things alone! She wasn't the source of your happiness. You will heal. Stop thinking of her screwing others. It's the way you're framing it that's tortuing you. I hope you heal. Love yourself more. You will find someone for you. I wish you the best man. I strongly recommend a book called Rebuilding when your relationship ends.
Howitzer Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 You once had a life of your own. Now you're acting like you can't be happy without her? We all get that it's hard to go through a breakup. At some point though, you gotta stop complaining about how hard it is, because it's not going to get you anywhere. Man, I hope you feel better. It sucks, I know, but that's just how life is. Everyone goes through these things, apparently even me...
teanoranges Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 my advice would be to vent away, everything and anything that comes into your head either write it here, or say it to only the most trusted friend. I went through this stage two or three weeks ago... after it, for me, was like a weight off of my shoulders... I feel a lot more healed so hopefully it will be the same for you.
sunrae Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 McGrupp, Youre not alone, you have us.. We will never be alone, because all the heart broken people here, will just have to come live at my lake house before that happens.. And we will all live happily ever after.. It's good that youre in the anger stage, it's part of the healing process.. Venting here is better than going home and punching holes in the wall, like my friend did...
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