TuesGirl Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I am so disappointed in myself today. Today was to be 3 years (we have been broken up for 5 mo's with LC the whole time except one 2 wk stint). I knew it yesterday and felt really ok about it, and in email exchanges, even had the gall to end with Happy Groundhog Day tomorrow, knowing full well he'd get my smart aleck comment/reference to our anniversary. He still emailed me a few times today at work. I'm not one to place much importance on 'special days' so much, but somehow, on the way home for work, I just got really really sad and started missing him like crazy. Of course, as luck would have it, I happened to drive by the place where we had our first date (en route to an errand) and that Ingrid Michealson song came on, which was special to us. I've been doing alright. I've been on match.com for a few months and gone on several dates. My life is chock full of fun stuff, but as most everyone else on LS, I feel empty and sad still that I am not partaking in 'couple' stuff. Ugh. And I know he still has feelings for me (bc of some of his actions), but he's so calculated in his manner/rsponses. So frustrating!
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel especially sad and empty on those anniversaries and on those days I make sure that I am especially busy. Forget about his actions and responses. Just ignore him and don't contact him again. It will just drag on and on if you guys are in low contact. Focus on the fun you are having rather then the emptiness inside and let the yourself enjoy. I am glad you have been doing okay:) Keep it up!
duece22022 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Today would be my 6th year anniversary. We have broken up for almost 2 months. It hasn't been that bad for me today, but it is still early. I have been preparing myself for this day for a while now. I'm sorry that it is going rough for you. I think it sounds like the reminders of your first date and the song really tipped the iceberg. I think your doing the right thing trying to occupy your mind. Try not to contact him again. If he really felt the way you feel he would be with you right now. They don't and we need to accecpt that. I know you miss him but we have to let go. Trust me getting through this day is a huge step in your recovering process. Try to fight him out of your mind.
Author TuesGirl Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Thank You. Today was a better day. I guess yesterday just threw me for a loop bc it's been a long time since I cried like that over this situation. I drank enough wine last night to quiet my mind to sleep I guess I still struggle with my 'role' in the whole breakup. I technically broke up with him when I asked him, seemingly out of the blue based on his reaction, if he thought we were ever going to get married, and he said he didn't think so. So I told him I couldn't be his girlfriend anymore bc that was something I wanted one day, with him. At any rate, my point in bringing that up is sometimes I feel like I am in the role of the dumper (and he plays the role of the dumpee too!) and then sometimes I feel like the dumpee with him taking the role of the dumper. So, I am never sure of how I should approach the whole thing. He definitely won't 'let me go' which is why we've had the LC. But yet, yea, no initiative either. The last few times I saw him he looked like a deer in the headlights and didn't seem to have much going on in life besides working so much... Ugh, sorrry, I am totally rambling here!!haha Just feeling 'lost' as to how to apporach the whole thing myself I suppose. At any rate...first date tonight with someone from match.com... I've not been picky and have just been 'getting out there'. No expectations Thanks again for the responses. It's very nice to have sympathy and someone to bring me back to 'center'
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