soconfusing Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I dated this guy (joe) for a few months and broke things off because there were some major dealbreakers that I couldn't look past. Apart from that, we had a really strong chemistry... Anyway, now a few months later, he texts me wanting to know if we can be friends since he'd rather have that than nothing at all. He knows that I'm over him (I told him so when he asked) and he knows that I'm seeing someone else. Nevertheless, he wants to be friends and wants to hang out sometime next week. First of all, is it possible to be just friends with an ex? And if so, what kinds of things can we do that won't invite and mixed feelings? Like, I know seeing a movie together is a bad idea.
j444 Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 It is possible to be friends with an ex. Just remember BOTH of you have to be completely over each other, and no more romantic feelings left. This is possible sometimes. I have been successful with just a few. There are some where it is impossible to be friends.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Even if it is possible for you and this guy to be friends, how will that affect your other long term relationships in the future. Will your current boyfriend have a problem with it? Will other boyfriends in the future have a problem with it?
Author soconfusing Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Even if it is possible for you and this guy to be friends, how will that affect your other long term relationships in the future. Will your current boyfriend have a problem with it? Will other boyfriends in the future have a problem with it? That's a good point. I figure ill deal with that issue if and when it comes up. However, I'm more wondering what we can do that's completely neutral but still somewhat enjoyable. Any ideas?
mortensorchid Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 As for neutral activities, nothing wrong with going to movies, out to dinner, shopping trips, and the like. As for your wanting to be friends with the person, if you really do care for each other and are not reaching out to one another out of loneliness, then I wish you best of luck in it. The truth is that people remain "friends" after their relationship ends because they are lonely and don't want to let go of the other person or the comfort of being with someone. I hope neither of you is one of those people and you really are happy with each other.
BG1985 Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Don't bother with him. He's just trying to get back into the picture because he's not completely over you. And yes, I'd have a huge problem if my girlfriend still maintained regular contact with her ex boyfriend. If there are no kids involved, there is never a point in remaining close to an ex. My sister won't even be friends with a guy if they go on one date and it doesn't work out. Nothing good will come from this.
boogieboy Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Don't bother with him. He's just trying to get back into the picture because he's not completely over you. And yes, I'd have a huge problem if my girlfriend still maintained regular contact with her ex boyfriend. If there are no kids involved, there is never a point in remaining close to an ex. My sister won't even be friends with a guy if they go on one date and it doesn't work out. Nothing good will come from this. I'll second this. He was dating someone and it didnt work out, he ran out of options, and figures he can start over with you, under the guise of friendship. DOnt ever talk to him again. And no, in your case, you cant be friends.
Hop_prophet Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I figure ill deal with that issue if and when it comes up Uh it has already come up. You mentioned you are not over your ex but still want to see him. Behind your current boyfriend's back nontheless (unless I am misunderstanding). Don't be surprised if he dumps you over this.
BG1985 Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I tried to pull the whole friends card with my ex, and it worked sometimes as she would break down and get physical with me again. I didn't want to be just friends. I don't think guys can be just friends with their ex girlfriends in general.
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