St. Nick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Jersey Shortie, have you ever talked to pornstars on a person to person basis? Many of them get extremely offended when you try to make them seem as if they should be ashamed of themselves for what they do. Shannon Tweed lit into an interviewer when the interviewer asked, "How will you feel when your kids ask you what you do for a living?". On was on a porno forum when Sinnamon Love get real heated with a guy who said she should be ashamed for making her mama so unhappy. Try talking to Ashley Blue or Flower Tucci and they'll tell you they really hate people when they try to give them crap for doing porn. Those women get real offensive when you try to tell them they should be offended by what they do. I'd like to see the look on your face when they blast at you. Also, they do make a ton of money. Carmella Bing was making $20,000 a month once. Here's an entry from her March '08 myspace blog: Monday, March 03, 2008 Farewell Porn Valley... Current mood: peeved Its been a long few years in my porn career. Ive had my ups and downs litterally. I was with LA Direct from the start, I shot anal my first day -****, I had 3 DPs my first week! Like a lot of the new girls, I stayed at Dereks house. I made a few good friends, Ive lost a couple of my old friends, My best friend is all I got left. To my BFF Brianna Love, You ****ing rock!!! Im looking to further my career, but 20k a month isnt going to cut it for me. I am planning my website, as well as directing and producing my own sex toys! I have yet a lot of work to do to get my Dynasty off the ground. As some may know and others have inquired - Yes, I dated Derek. Not a mistake, but definately a learning experience. I always knew Id be one of his ex-girlfriends, not that I wanted to be but it was to say the least a slow moving relationship. I was always treated with the upmost respect, we had a great time together. But everything good has to come to an end. It was a mutual decision to split, he was very polite and invited me to stay, but the energy was weird. I just couldnt watch life go on, I left to move in with Brianna. We are the best of friends, lesbians.... ya know so on and so fourth, but we cant look at each other while we are having sex! Funny, that. Ive enjoyed featuring recently on the eastcoast thanks to LEE Network. I thank UltimateFantasyGirls for the contracted shoots! Thanxxx to Brazzers for putting me on top! Thank you Kevin aka "Up in ya" for hanging in there, ****s been hard and I appriciate you for sticking by me, no matter how much of a bitch I am at times I still love ya! To Brian, for taking such good care of my Baby Doji Bear. Ive been a bit caught up, to seriously Thank You for all you’ve done. You’ve got a friend for life. To my little sister Michelle for all the **** weve been through, I love you so much! I just hope you dont do anything I did! My Real Estate agent John Warner, rest in peace. Im sorry I didnt get my house note in on time because I didnt get to say goodbye. I left some flowers on your desk... Overall, I dont have anything bad to say about Direct... I just need a new start... Im making some life adjustments, and I think this was a good step for me, quite a slap in the face, but I was long over due for a reality check. Im a better hooker than an actress (mind you I use that word loosely only because I am mature enough to accept it, dont abuse it... thx). In porn my base rate is $1500, Vegas I make $1500 per hourto do partys. Porn costs money, taxes, comission, not to mention std’s time off work, medication, wardrobe, travel costs... etc. Vegas/escorting is cash, 100% mine, I pay for advertising and a phone bill. Everything is ****ing paid right off the top. Why whould I stick around, never really come up, and practically pay to do porn? When the IRS has taken 40% of all of my checks. And Derek wants his stupid fees. I mean why the **** did I get into porn anyway? What the ****? Then we have these ****ing fat fags on LUKEISBACK.com that will talk **** about anything. You *******s really should pick up a ****ing paper someday. There are more important things going on in the world and yet you discriminate porn, it is your right as an American to freedom of speach, yet my right to not be discriminated against. If you dont like me then dont look at me, go back to your kiddie porn. Jeremy Steele I am suprised you havent been cleaved yet. You have no businsess even talking about me. you dont know me and you wont know me, i dont do $300 talent, and have i yet mentioned how much of a ****ing pencil dick you are? Grow the **** up. all you porn whore fanatics get over the ****ing hype. For the record I was an escort before I came into porn. It was the only thing keeping my head above water. So what if I made a qtr mil I spent all of it owe money and im broke, to some content. House note is 3800 utilities are 2000 ive got cars insurance, pets, i travel, i have family, i make investments. who are you to add up my dough? i had a really bad shopping problem and Ive since found salvation depositing and saving over cashing and spending. And just because of those sorry ****s that dont have anything nice to say, Im not going anywhere. Im retiring my availability to the porn industry. Im only working for my site, I appriciate the offers, but your too ****ing late! This industry has not been great too me, but I live in a 6 bedroom house, not adicted to drugs or alcohol, not crazy or suicidal, I have a nice car and am able to help with my familys needs. How many girls can honestly say that? About 10%!!! Do some ****ing reserch before you throw up nonsense all over the ****ing place. Most of these women would rather be doing porn than working at a cash register (which is what most are qualified for). Catalina Taylor was recently complaining all over her twitter page about not being called for a shoot: I'm quitting because no one wants to shoot me! its over! 4:43 PM Jan 24th from mobile web http://twitter.com/CatalinaTaylor Yeah, I'm pretty sure when these women cash their huge paychecks they feel as morally guilty about what they do as you do.
A O Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 You're such a joke AO. I never even said how others behaved was excuse for what I did. Fair enough. You're just like some others then - extremely negative towards the opposite sex, and you would've been this way regardless of whether anyone else ever was or not! Hmmm, I gave you way too much credit in this instance. What does women getting paid more to do porn prove? It proves that its all one big fantasy world akin to Hollywood. Again, most people get this anyway. They HAVE to pay the women more because it takes MORE incentive for women to have random sex No, they're more in demand. The market rules. Most women in porn have deep issues. Healthy minded women don't do porn. And if they do, it's a lark, not a rule. This I agree with. Nonetheless, if they weren't doing this they'd be doing something equally unhealthy, if nothing more than simply shacking up with, and more to the point - reliant on - dead-beat men, which is what most low self-esteem women tend to do. Here at least, they stand a chance. Where are your percentages my dear? I've got the real world to go on. Plain common sense. Could ask you the same question but you rarely, if ever, back-up your sweeping statements. Yet another comment about how men have no accountiblity or responsibility. Men have TONS of power. And exert it all the time. yes. women wear make up to attract men and to set themselves apart. If you didn't, men wouldn't pay attention to you and then you would end up all alone while the man chased the other girl who infact DID put on the make up. That's a reality. You want to make it seem like men have no influence when it comes to ideals, standards or other things. Women don't get implants because they want to be confident. They do it because men LOVE it. We are not accountable to how women dress and look. Women did this, do this, all off their own bat. Men still pay attention to women regardless, if we didn't women would wear make-up and fashionable clothing from go yo whoa. As things stand, we all know that very few actually do this. As for breast-implants - for cosmetic purposes - they're one of life's great travesties. Most men out there, lemme tell you folks - are not fans of this procedure. Men do the same thing. This is why men pat each other on the back for getting laid. And the hotter the woman, the more the man feels validated. Men tie their identities to their jobs first and foremost. The scenario you've painted here is very true for some, namely the youngsters and virgins starting out. But once over that hump (haha) it's their job and the ability to provide that's foremost in a man's mind. Porn takes every make insecurity and makes it seem like a none issue. And it takes very attractive women so beyond the norm that men feel like "kings" while watching it. It's all male insecurity and smoke and mirrors. Randiness is the driver, not insecurity. Insecurity, I don't why you're going with that angle. Worth a try I guess. .
Mr White Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) If men felt validated, as men, in real life, if they were confident in their abilties as men in real life, they wouldn't turn so heavily to an industry to caters to every one of their inherent male insecurities. Porn is a bigger deficit of male insecurity then female. Men turn to porn because they need something to make them feel good outside their lives where they clearly do not feel like men anymore in the 21st century. Because today too many men define masculinity by their ability to sit infront of a computer and jack off then really engage with real women and discovering real life. Yeah real women are tougher. Boohoo. But men have self medicated themselves into docility killing any adverterious spirit and respect they have for themselves and that women have for them. Why are men so often mocked today? It's not *just* because of feminism. It's because we have new generations of men that are passive and unadvertous and make justifications for their weaknesses (porn) then they do for their strength in having the qualities women *really* respect. You last sentence is nothing more then a very transparent attempt to shame women into being "cool" as you define it. And you don't define being "cool" as having her own mind. You define it by her ability to accept your porn use. It's too bad that men do not see their own passing value. And they rather waste their time infront of their porn jacking off to women who wouldn't cry if he got hit by a bus tomorrow than engaging with the real woman that is with him day by day. Suffering his tedious, borish aristocratic attempts at intellgence. So, you're basically saying that if men were real men, they'd be ejaculating on girls' faces, slapping them around, and brutalize them through painful sexual acts rather than innocuously satisfy passing curiosity/fantasies with porn, hmm? "I'm a real man, so be a real woman and take it up the ass, hmm?". Indeed, you are suggesting that if men were real me they even wouldn't have to ask for that **** - women would give it away as long as the right buttons are pushed . And to say that you have to engage a real woman just so you could jack off is the precise definition of wanting to control male sexuality - "You can have sex, but only when I say so and only in the ways I approve of". Well, oftentimes I don't want to do anything with a real woman, i simply want to jack off to porn - precisely because it is such a hassle to pick up a woman, even for ONS, and in most cases it is simply NOT worth it. Not to mention that porn is a useful outlet for people not currently in relationships. Most men in relationships do not obsessively consume porn (myself included). It's probably less than one a week, and it's typically "eh....", since I'm perfectly happy sexually with my gf. (not to mention that she knows it and makes fun of me for that) Many also ignore the positive social aspects of porn such as reducing sexual crimes by providing a safe outlet (academic studies have shown that indirectly). Speaking for myself, I can testify that porn has saved me multiple times from going through the hassle and the risk of hiring a hooker. Edited February 9, 2010 by Mr White
Peter Attis Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Is there some new trend that pops up every month in the dating forum? Last month, it was short guys; this month, it's pornography?
carhill Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 this month, it's pornography? I see you're new around here
Enema Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Haven't read the thread, I assume it's gotten off track... but, responding to the OP: The porn threads have gotten me curious. 1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner? Yes. 2. ... In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her? Yes. Viewing porn is about me and has no connection to the relationship. 3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn? No. My boyfriend told me that he hasn't been able to get off to porn since we started dating and has lost all interest in other women. I thought this was sweet and interesting, but it wouldn't have bothered me had he continued to view porn. I'm wondering how applicable this is to guys in general when they feel very strongly about a woman. Your bf may be different, but I'd say in the vast majority of cases, a man saying this is saying what he thinks you want to hear.
Jersey Shortie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 What you are is an obsessive, insecure control freak. No real man is going to put up with this garbage. Good luck. Thanks. I appreciate your kind words and helpfulness at name calling and abusive treatment. Aww, poor women, always the victim! Excuse me if I don't feel sorry for some chic with titties that cost more than my car. Yeah, I don't remember saying feel sorry for the porn star. Funny how your thoughts didn't even gleen to thinking about the woman in your life. Went right to the porn star instead. Read up on your history... slavery ended. Pornography is a consensual line of work, my friend. Who said it wasn't consensual? Doesn't mean it's not demeaning and explotive and full of male insecurity. No one said anything about slavery. No one argued that porn wasn't consesual. This changes none of my statements. Hollywood sets up unrealistic standards, let's condemn them too. I am never going to watch another movie again!! Yeap it does. However, men don't seem to defend Hollywood, or have an obessive streak to masturbate to it with regularly. It also doesn't have the level of degradation, debasement and complete disregard for women that porn has.But again, YOU as a man don't have to care because it's not your gender being treated like garbage. But you men think it's okay to treat women like garbage. By the way, most men like watching porn stars - They don't want to marry one. Once again, I never SAID men wanted to marry porn stars. Infact, that's just the thing. Men want to take out their real life partners to play when they feel like it and then they want to take out the porn, or the fantasy girls to play when they feel like it. Both serve their purpose and men seem to like using real women interchangably with their pornography. They even want their real woman to watch porn with him so after he gets hard over the hot girl he saw in porn he can use her to bang out all his fantasies to. But hey, that's right ladies, please feel good in the fact that at least he gives you some amoun tof attention when he feels like it. Even if he is thinking about banging some pornstar or your sister in the process. We should be so thankful the meager scraps of affection and sex I guess. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]StNick[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Jersey Shortie, have you ever talked to pornstars on a person to person basis? Many of them get extremely offended when you try to make them seem as if they should be ashamed of themselves for what they do. I NEVER said a pornstar should be ashamed of themselves. I don't have anomosity to pornstars. I don't understand why men don't care enough about the real women in their lives to stick up for them instead. All you men do is debate and defend porn and the porn stars. LOL. What about some consideration for the real woman in your life? Or is that secondary. Guess it is! [/FONT][/sIZE] Those women get real offensive when you try to tell them they should be offended by what they do. I'd like to see the look on your face when they blast at you. The look on my face wouldn't change. I think the industry, despite what a pornstar says, is degrading to women. I do not think ONE man here would want his wife, gf or daughter to be in porn. I think you have RARE cases when the woman in porn is actually healthy. In most cases, the women came to do porn not because they had hoped and dreamed of it since the were little girls but because life brought them to that point in life. No woman , despite what she says, dreams of being in porn. And no offense but if you really think a pornstar is going to blast the industry she is paid to create the fantasy about, then you are buying into the fantasy more then you care to admit. Also, they do make a ton of money. Carmella Bing was making $20,000 a month once. Well then maybe every woman should become a pornstar. It's great. Married men, boyfriends, husbands, fathers, uncles..you all have great support for it. You seem to think it's a great business to get into. Maybe you should tell your daughters that that's a profession she should look into as she gets older? Then maybe your friends can see her getting banged. SUre, by that time your friends will be in their 40s and 50s but hey..your little girl is at least legal now so they can lust after all al they want and she will be making TONS of money. LOL. What you don't want to admit is that MOST women don't make it in the business for very long. most girls las 6 months to one year and most aren't pullilng the money you are trying to say they are. Most only last that long because for women that industry is physically and mentally draining. Stop buying into the exact fantasy they are selling. It's sad.
neowulf Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner? Firstly, the definition of "Porn" is very broad in this topic. I tend to look at pictures more than videos of acts taking place. Even then, only on the odd occasion. I tend to take the view that the female body is a work of art. It's a beautiful thing and is always unique between people. Appreciating another womans beauty doesn't mean I don't believe my own partner to be beautiful. It is simply *another* kind of beauty. 2. Does the frequency with which you view or whether you view it at all correspond to how strongly you feel about your partner? In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her? I would say that when a relationship is still new, the focus is completely on the new partner. This probably lasts between 6months to a year. I believe they call it a period of Limerence. 3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn? No, but then if she was my partner, I wouldn't have to imagine having sex with her. I would. The purpose of fantasy is to imagine things that *aren't* possible or real. My perspective is that men are still running around with the same biological drives we've possessed for thousands of years. The desire to mate with as many females as possible may have been discouraged culturally, but the instincts remain the same. I think porn represents an outlet for these urges, much in the way aggressive sport and violent video games provide an outlet for agressive impluses.
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 (edited) What is troublesome to me is that a woman would pry into a man's masturbation at all, and then make an issue of what he does and thinks during a time that has nothing to do with her and shouldn't be any of her business. Sex is something between partners. Masturbation is private, and should be kept that way. The only time it should come up at all is if masturbation replaces the sex in a relationship. What if the masturbation starts to affect the sex in a relationship? E.g. guy jerks off to online porn a lot, becomes desensitized to normal sex, starts getting hooked on more extreme sexual fantasies, and the woman starts to notice the difference? I would say then it's no longer a private issue or a personal matter - it's one for the couple. Given the demonstrable risks of masturbation to porn developing this way, that then makes both porn and masturbation areas of at least mild concern for any self-respecting partner. Flip it the other way - if my girlfriend used her vibrator 3 times a day and only had sex with me twice a week, and wanted me to basically act as a stunt cock rather than have intimate sex, then I wouldn't consider it normal or a private matter, because it would be affecting me. I would want to be more important than a plastic inanimate object in her affections. So it's normal for a woman to want to be more important than some gif or mpeg files of professional sluts getting degraded in various unnatural ways. Someone's sexual attitudes and fantasies affect their partner. If my gf orgasms to child pornography or male castration porn, I would want to know. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a woman to know if her guy jerks off to degrading pornography, or "far out" fetishes, or it starts affecting their love life (it doesn't have to replace it, just affect it in a negative way). Edited February 10, 2010 by Joe Normal
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 The porn threads have gotten me curious. 1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner? 2. Does the frequency with which you view or whether you view it at all correspond to how strongly you feel about your partner? In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her? 3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn? My boyfriend told me that he hasn't been able to get off to porn since we started dating and has lost all interest in other women. I thought this was sweet and interesting, but it wouldn't have bothered me had he continued to view porn. I'm wondering how applicable this is to guys in general when they feel very strongly about a woman. "1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner?" No, not if I'm being satisfied. If I was away for a couple of weeks, it's possible I might look at something if I was bored and aroused, but generally I try to avoid porn usage even though I'm not disciplined enough to abstain entirely. "2. Does the frequency with which you view or whether you view it at all correspond to how strongly you feel about your partner? In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her?" The better and more satisfied I feel, the less I'd be inclined to look, on the whole. "3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn?" Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 By the way, most men like watching porn stars - They don't want to marry one. When you figure that out, we will have made progress. It's not a very difficult concept. Some/most men who like watching porn stars start to get psychologically conditioned to jerking off to pictures & videos of them, and over time escalate their tastes to more extreme pornography. As a porn site operator you will know this (how much does vanilla porn sell nowadays compared to hardcore/extreme/niche?). Incidences of lack of intimacy, sexual dysfunction, extreme fetishes, and desires for degrading treatment of women in bed are all higher in groups of men that use hard porn, relative to those who don't. So, for those guys who can use porn occasionally and not have any effect on their relationships, then yes it's basically a harmless way to get off when their woman is not around. For the not inconsiderable % of men who get affected by it to the detriment of their love life with their current and future partners, it is a harmful activity which generally gets worse the more they engage in it. It's a bit like drinking or gambling - harmless fun for some; life-ruining self-destruction for others. Of course, most merchants of such goods will try to promote the former image and deny any existence of the latter.
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 (edited) Porn addiction = unhealthy Watching porn sometimes = normal Chocolate addiction = unhealthy Eating chocolate sometimes = normal Alchohol addiction = unhealthy Drinking alchohol sometimes = normal its not the substance or activity that is dangerous, but how a person chooses to indulge that is potentially harmfull. It's not that simple. Some activities or substances are inherently addicting if used regularly - for example nicotine, heroin. Others are not e.g. chocolate. Some are addicting for some people, not for others e.g. alcohol. For addicting harmful activities, there is no such thing as a "healthy" usage of them. One cannot be a healthy heroin user, or a healthy smoker, in the way that one can be a healthy social drinker, or healthy fan of chocolate. Merely using heroin or nicotine over time virtually *guarantees* you will turn into an addict. If pornography used regularly is addicting over the long-term, then that makes it dangerous. If it's not addicting, then it is ok (if used in moderation). Even if it's only addicting for a certain minority, like alcohol, then that's still problematic. If today's casual user (or even 1 in 10 of today's casual users) is tomorrow's sexually dysfunctional porn addict, then it needs to be treated differently than a harmless social pastime. The question is whether it is addicting for some and harmless for others, or whether it is harmful in some degree for all regular users. Personally I think it is more likely to be in the former category, so it should be treated like alcohol (ok in moderation, but treated as a potential vice with dangers when consumed to excess) but IMO more research is needed. Edited February 10, 2010 by Joe Normal
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Translation: You don't enjoy sex or your sexuality. How do you know if that's true? Porn didn't even exist for most of human history - even if we include the occasional cave drawing or erotic sculpture, they were hardly readily available or particularly arousing to Ug the caveman. Do you conclude that humans throughout 99% of history have not enjoyed sex or their sexuality? What about someone who lives with an attractive partner and has sex with them several times a day, and hence has no interest in porn since they have the superior real thing available on tap? What about a guy with a harem of 18 year old supermodels, by your logic he doesn't enjoy sex unless he sits in front of a computer beating off while his mistresses wait frustrated outside. I'd be interested to know what evidence you have to support your claim that not using porn shows a lack of interest in sex.
jenifer1972 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 What if the masturbation starts to affect the sex in a relationship? E.g. guy jerks off to online porn a lot, becomes desensitized to normal sex, starts getting hooked on more extreme sexual fantasies, and the woman starts to notice the difference? I would say then it's no longer a private issue or a personal matter - it's one for the couple. Given the demonstrable risks of masturbation to porn developing this way, that then makes both porn and masturbation areas of at least mild concern for any self-respecting partner. Flip it the other way - if my girlfriend used her vibrator 3 times a day and only had sex with me twice a week, and wanted me to basically act as a stunt cock rather than have intimate sex, then I wouldn't consider it normal or a private matter, because it would be affecting me. I would want to be more important than a plastic inanimate object in her affections. So it's normal for a woman to want to be more important than some gif or mpeg files of professional sluts getting degraded in various unnatural ways. Someone's sexual attitudes and fantasies affect their partner. If my gf orgasms to child pornography or male castration porn, I would want to know. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a woman to know if her guy jerks off to degrading pornography, or "far out" fetishes, or it starts affecting their love life (it doesn't have to replace it, just affect it in a negative way). This is so articulately explained by you!. Some porn is ok, better if it is with me, but when it starts to SUBSTITUTE for being with me then there is a problem.
Malenfant Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 It's not that simple. Some activities or substances are inherently addicting if used regularly - for example nicotine, heroin. Others are not e.g. chocolate. Some are addicting for some people, not for others e.g. alcohol. For addicting harmful activities, there is no such thing as a "healthy" usage of them. One cannot be a healthy heroin user, or a healthy smoker, in the way that one can be a healthy social drinker, or healthy fan of chocolate. Merely using heroin or nicotine over time virtually *guarantees* you will turn into an addict. If pornography used regularly is addicting over the long-term, then that makes it dangerous. If it's not addicting, then it is ok (if used in moderation). Even if it's only addicting for a certain minority, like alcohol, then that's still problematic. If today's casual user (or even 1 in 10 of today's casual users) is tomorrow's sexually dysfunctional porn addict, then it needs to be treated differently than a harmless social pastime. The question is whether it is addicting for some and harmless for others, or whether it is harmful in some degree for all regular users. Personally I think it is more likely to be in the former category, so it should be treated like alcohol (ok in moderation, but treated as a potential vice with dangers when consumed to excess) but IMO more research is needed. my point was merely that there are a lot of things that are harmful when over indulged. its down to the 'user' to moderate their useage accordingly.
rod_in_gtown Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Hi, Just stop beating me (LOL), this thread is really just feeding JS's frenzy, she'll find these threads and beat on them until everyone just realizes she's not in it for open discussion but just to further her crusade. I bet there are tons of other posters out there with legitimate problems that could use honest advice. I, for one, am moving on.
St. Nick Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Hi, Just stop beating me (LOL), this thread is really just feeding JS's frenzy, she'll find these threads and beat on them until everyone just realizes she's not in it for open discussion but just to further her crusade. I bet there are tons of other posters out there with legitimate problems that could use honest advice. I, for one, am moving on. There are a lot of people who noticed that Jersey Shortie just wants to rant, rather than discuss. That's why her responses are so tiresomely predictable. I'm with you. Time to move on.
AAlike Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 This is so articulately explained by you!. Some porn is ok, better if it is with me, but when it starts to SUBSTITUTE for being with me then there is a problem. This is what i have been saying the entire time. to extend this concept, anytime fantasy, whether porn, thoughts of exes, strippers, thinking of women/men that you know, famous people, farm animals, whatever else you can think of, is trumping or substituting reality, that is obviously an enormous problem. If my wife wants to masturbate, I don't care how she does it, or what she's thinking about or using in order to make it work for her, as long as she's still up for the "real thing" a reasonable amount and prefers that to any fantasy. In all honesty, I wouldn't expect her to masturbate about having sex with me - wouldn't that kind of be like going to the movies to watch your own life?
shazam Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Most of the men have argued that porn is perfectly natural and healthy. If your mother, sister, or daughter became a porn star would you still feel the same way?
A O Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 ^ ^ ^ A normal activity and what people close to you choose to do with their lives - two totally separate issues. .
Peter Attis Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Most of the men have argued that porn is perfectly natural and healthy. If your mother, sister, or daughter became a porn star would you still feel the same way? This is a stupid question.
Jersey Shortie Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Most of the men have argued that porn is perfectly natural and healthy. If your mother, sister, or daughter became a porn star would you still feel the same way? The refusal for the question to be addressed says enough Shazam. I've asked many substanial questions on this topic. Most of them ignored or where many of the guys here would rather take the oppurtunity to brow beat me and my opinion rather then answer the questions I posed. They will bend over backwards to avoid answering the questions at hand. The truth is that men KNOW porn is not perfectly natural and healty. Sex is. Porn isn't. Lets not confuse the two. Sadly, men spend a ridiculous amount of time infront of their computers masturbating then in ANY generation before. Men rather downplay place this out of their own fear about their level of porn use. I think we have yet to see the totalty of the reprocushions of porn. Internet has only really been around since the 80s and growing regularly. We haven't yet even begun to see the side affects of what porn has done to the male mind. Even if you look at porn once a week, which some seem to think is not alot but I think is still alot, when you look at anything on a repeat basis, it affects you. Anyone who actually thinks that we are just a country fat on food is ignorant. This country is more then fat on food. We are fat on porn. Add in the fact that porn can be completely anomous, free, and comes directly into your home, not even something food does, adds to the growing problem and hidden problem of porn. I do not think many men are ready to face the truth about themselves or their buddies and how they've allowed themselves to be suckered into porn. And in the process have made them more passive and docile. They wouldn't want someone they actually care for in porn. Becayse they know it's degrading and humilating to women. Most girls aren't the next Jemma Jamison. And if they are, we SEE how screwed up she is. There is a high turn over rate for women in porn, they last between 6 months-1 year and in that time frame they are asked to do more hardcore acts. It destroys their bodies if not their spirits along with it. Most men would never want their wives, gfs or daughters to actually be in porn. But they are more then happy to keep supporting and industry that they know is degrading to women.Oh but that's right, as a woman you're not allowed to question or feel hurt that men LOVE an industry that treats women like they are worthless peices of garbage with no thoughts or feelings of their own expect the desire to spread their legs. I guess it makes you a man to dehumanize and degrade a whole gender just so you can rub one out. And men wonder why women dont respect them today. It's because men rather rant and rave and defend their weaknesses then overcome them. porn is a HUGE weakness of most men. Men logically KNOW this. There is NO denying this fact. As evident by the amount of men that came in this thread not to ask questions or answer them in relation to real women, but to defend their own personal porn use and pat each other on the back supporting each others porn use. Thank you to Joe Normal for his insightful posts.
sxyNYCcpl Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Jersey, Jersey. So full of bitterness and pain. The world you want does not exist, and I'm afraid to tell you this, but it never will. As a species we are becoming more sexually open and tolerant, and that trend will not stop. The truth is that men KNOW porn is not perfectly natural and healty.[ You declaring it so doesn't make it so. Even if you look at porn once a week, which some seem to think is not alot but I think is still alot, when you look at anything on a repeat basis, it affects you. It seems you think once in a lifetime is a lot. They wouldn't want someone they actually care for in porn. Becayse they know it's degrading and humilating to women. Assumes facts not in evidence. Search hard enough, and you'll find pictures of Mrs. SXY in flagrante delecto online. Not true porn, in the sense that the sexual activities involved were not done for the purpose of capturing images, rather they were candid images captured of sexual activity being done for pleasure, but that's a detail that is difficult (or impossible) for a casual viewer to discern. So, no, all men don't know how "degrading" porn is, nor do they object to those close to them participating. I guess it makes you a man to dehumanize and degrade a whole gender just so you can rub one out. Kindly explain exactly how imagery of human sexuality is degrading??
Jersey Shortie Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Jersey, Jersey. So full of bitterness and pain. The world you want does not exist, and I'm afraid to tell you this, but it never will. As a species we are becoming more sexually open and tolerant, and that trend will not stop. I am not full of bitterness and pain. And frankly, that's meant as nothing more then to condesend to me. And there is no reason for it. I don't think more in your face "sexuality" is exactly about sexual openness and tolerance. Infact, if we truly wanted to be about more sexual openess and tolerance, it certainly wouldn't be done through porn. How many men here really believe that porn celebrates women sexuality and equality? It just doesn't. Porn doesn't celebrate anything about indivdual womens sexuality and body or mind. Porn represents a male fantasy that does more to conform then celebrate. Porn represents what men wished women's sexuality to be not what a real woman's sexuality really is. The fact is that I think it's easier for men to want women to conform to their ideal of submissive sexuality then truly celebrate and empower women's sexuality on an individual basis. Oh and I am fully aware that the current trend will not stop. That's why I think the country is going in the crapper. Partly why at least. Things aren't exactly getting better. We have new generations of boys that grew up with computers and porn at their finger tips that their fathers didn't have. The backlash is here. You declaring it so doesn't make it so. Of course not. But it's still the truth. There aren't many men that really believe that porn is healthy. They know what it is. They know women aren't respected in it. Heck, even the men that watch it don't respect the women in it. They would never want someone they really cared for in it. Why? Because they know porn is unhealthy. Sex isn't. Masturbation isn't. But the medium of what porn is, certainly is. So, no, all men don't know how "degrading" porn is, nor do they object to those close to them participating You are a rare exception here. Most men do infact object to a woman close to them participating in porn. All the while they are more then happy to exploit other women for their own means. And yes, we all know that the porn ladies make an aware choice to be in porn. Just as many husband,fathers, brothers and boyfriends make an aware choice to view it. Kindly explain exactly how imagery of human sexuality is degrading?? We aren't just talking about imagery of human sexuality. We are talking about a billion dollar industry geared to men about what they wished female sexuality was. It's fantasy, not reality. And not one that repersents or celebrates women at all.
Stockalone Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I probably should but I don't. I never told a boyfriend he couldn't view it. Okay, so you don't tell them that they can't watch porn. But you do talk about porn, right? I mean, you keep telling men on LS that watching porn means they aren't real men. And this topic is obviously important to you. Don't you have the same conversation with the men in your life? I hope they don't get a free pass from you. I hear alot of men say that porn isn't important or say "I don't choose it over real sex. I jsut view it when I can't get sex". But that doesn't matter. Anytime you put in a porno, no matter the circumstance, yes you are choosing it over real sex. It's just that simple. It's not a billion dollar industry because men only view it when they can't get sex. I agree with you that some men (though I don't know what percentage) not only view it when their partner isn't available. But what groups are you talking about here when you say they choose porn over real sex? Only men who are in relationships, only single men, or both? Should single men hire an escort or would it be better for them to look for women with low self esteem to have a ONS or FWB with? Would such real sex be more acceptable and more healthy than watching porn in your opinion? Sadly, this kind of stuff makes women look at men with little respect. Fair enough. But if you want to use the an-eye-for-an-eye strategy, women these days aren't always commanding respect either. "Us" vs. "them" is not going to make things better, no matter what side you are on. And I'll admit that it becomes more difficult to give an inch if you get nothing in return, but that goes for both genders. More and more, I get the impression that many women want to tell men what it takes to be a man they can respect. That's okay, but don't expect to get what you ask for. Because women also have to accept that men will tell them what it takes to be a woman they can respect. And women rarely like that, why would men be okay with it then? Not everything is a double standard that benefits men.
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