You'reasian Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 If a woman feels like her man is choosing porn over her then maybe she should take a look in the mirror and ask why an actual man prefers whacking off than being intimate with her. I like my Playboys but no way in hell would they ever compete with my wife. That's a good approach. In some cases, it may not be the woman's fault at all - some dudes just like to whack it, regardless. Some reduce their porn consumption because their woman is plenty enough. Women are the same way. They can love their guy, be satisfied every time and still whip out the giant dong or vibe - its just a way of maintaining their sexual health. so fellow LS-ers, do you think it is necessary to keep your sexuality a little independent of your partner/SO?
Author shadowplay Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 If a woman feels like her man is choosing porn over her then maybe she should take a look in the mirror and ask why an actual man prefers whacking off than being intimate with her. I like my Playboys but no way in hell would they ever compete with my wife. Of course it's always the woman's fault... By this logic the wife of an alcoholic should look in the mirror and ask herself why her husband prefers booze to her.
ann09 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Yes he did. this whole thread is making me lmao
meerkat stew Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Since no women have answered, will reply to my own question: Which is more troublesome, a man looking at porn to masturbate, or a man fantasizing about a real experience with his immediate ex while masturbating? Answer: Most people would find the latter more disturbing, mooting the entire porn question raised in this thread, other than as pertains to addictive behavior. Men and women both fantasize about their past experiences, it would be unreasonable for either party to try to restrict natural internal fantasizing in their partner. Because this is so, becoming upset over porn, a -less- personal fantasy than a real memory which, in fact, acts as a substitute for a real memory, is irrational. The rational response would be to welcome porn use in a partner within limits, because if they are using porn as an impersonal fantasy tool, they are likely not using a real, more personal experience with an ex as a fantasy tool. /thread
soserious1 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Very true. Lookin at porn means a man has a healthy sexual appetite and can screw a woman's brains out and dominate her in the bedroom which most women do want. Men who hate porn are the same types who usually hate sex and don't know what to do in the bedroom. Men just like to look at naked chicks sometimes and that is that. I can understand the concerns over child porn, violent porn and things of that nature but your average everday stuff that men like to look at is 100% healthy. If a woman feels like her man is choosing porn over her then maybe she should take a look in the mirror and ask why an actual man prefers whacking off than being intimate with her. I like my Playboys but no way in hell would they ever compete with my wife. I did take a look in the mirror, a long,long, very hard, very critical look, no wrinkle, dimple, mark, blemish or fold went undocumented. Problem is this.. I can't alter the fact that I'm not 20, no amount of dieting, exercise or plastic surgery is going to make me sexually desirable to a man who craves youthful beauty. So.. what was I to do, continue to sleep in the sofa, living a totally sexless existence while continuing to pay all of his bills? Pretend to be happy and grateful that he'd lower himself enough to stay married to me? I cannot compete with an ever changing visual feast of perfect 20 yr olds and I'm no longer interested in trying, nor am I interested in acting happy to cook, caretake for and fiscally support a man just to free up his time to hunt down more porn to whack off to.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Which is more troublesome, a man looking at porn to masturbate, or a man fantasizing about a real experience with his immediate ex while masturbating? What is troublesome to me is that a woman would pry into a man's masturbation at all, and then make an issue of what he does and thinks during a time that has nothing to do with her and shouldn't be any of her business. Sex is something between partners. Masturbation is private, and should be kept that way. The only time it should come up at all is if masturbation replaces the sex in a relationship.
soserious1 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 What is troublesome to me is that a woman would pry into a man's masturbation at all, and then make an issue of what he does and thinks during a time that has nothing to do with her and shouldn't be any of her business. Sex is something between partners. Masturbation is private, and should be kept that way. The only time it should come up at all is if masturbation replaces the sex in a relationship. so you'd be okay with a partner viewing porn and then coming into the bedroom to wake you up to finish him off? How big are your breasts? my ex might be happy to meet you?
meerkat stew Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 What is troublesome to me is that a woman would pry into a man's masturbation at all, and then make an issue of what he does and thinks during a time that has nothing to do with her and shouldn't be any of her business. And of course this is the truly enlightened view, the decision tree I suggest is just an intermediate step. Sex is something between partners. Masturbation is private, and should be kept that way. Agreed. And when it -is- chosen to be shared (watched, co-diddling) it's a great learning tool and builds trust and intimacy.
soserious1 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 As previously stated in this thread, I don't use porn, so spare me the insulting straw man. if you don't use porn and have never been on the receiving end of the form of intimacy offer by a heavy porn user why are you advising it as some sort of wonderful marital sexual aid? I have been on the receiving end of things and there was nothing hot about the experience, nothing that made me feel more trusting or loving towards my partner.
soserious1 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Read the thread and put down the pipe, o rabid one. Where did I counsel porn as a wonderful marital sexual aid? Nowhere. really? what is this then "Agreed. And when it -is- chosen to be shared (watched, co-diddling) it's a great learning tool and builds trust and intimacy. "
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 so you'd be okay with a partner viewing porn and then coming into the bedroom to wake you up to finish him off? How big are your breasts? my ex might be happy to meet you? If he were doing that, I'd tell him to finish himself off. Masturbation would be done on his time, not mine. I don't want to know about him beating off any more than I want to know the details of him taking a dump. To me, it is private in a similar way. My breasts? I don't have breasts. My guy is ok with that. I don't think your ex would like me. After reading how much of an ass he was (and is) to you, I'd be inclined to give him a thorough beatdown.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 the woman presses her face down into the mattress so that her partner's view of the porn playing onscreen is unobstructed while he rams it up her arse from behind? A great reason for keeping masturbation/porn separate from sex with a partner. What you described is horribly degrading, and no man should use a woman as a masturbation tool like that.
soserious1 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 (edited) If he were doing that, I'd tell him to finish himself off. Masturbation would be done on his time, not mine. I don't want to know about him beating off any more than I want to know the details of him taking a dump. To me, it is private in a similar way. My breasts? I don't have breasts. My guy is ok with that. I don't think your ex would like me. After reading how much of an ass he was (and is) to you, I'd be inclined to give him a thorough beatdown. But you don't get it, your viewpoint isn't giving enough, it indicates how sexually repressed you are. If you were a truly sexual woman you'd be encouraging your man to openly discuss and share with you how hot he finds other women and how very badly he wants to have sex with them, you'd rent and buy porn vids and happily stand by to service him as he watched. You'd also praise him heavily for being bold enough to share his thoughts with you and to gush at length about how porn has brought you so much closer! Allowing privacy just isn't enough! Edited February 6, 2010 by soserious1
Bejita463 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 really? what is this then "Agreed. And when it -is- chosen to be shared (watched, co-diddling) it's a great learning tool and builds trust and intimacy. " Reading comprehension: That was a response to a comment about masturbation. Not porn.
Barky Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 "I'm no porn expert, but I consider myself quite the masturbator." -Californication
soserious1 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 All this talk of tolerance and the need for women to be sexually open, to embrace men's desires to have sex with others, to welcome and encourage a man's devotion to porn. But I get flagged for being "lewd" and not respectful! This is rich LOL!
Bejita463 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 But I get flagged for being "lewd" and not respectful! This is rich LOL! Argue against the topic rather than the person, and that won't happen.
meerkat stew Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 "Agreed. And when it -is- chosen to be shared (watched, co-diddling) it's a great learning tool and builds trust and intimacy. " Was obviously talking about masturbation, not porn.
Woggle Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I did take a look in the mirror, a long,long, very hard, very critical look, no wrinkle, dimple, mark, blemish or fold went undocumented. Problem is this.. I can't alter the fact that I'm not 20, no amount of dieting, exercise or plastic surgery is going to make me sexually desirable to a man who craves youthful beauty. So.. what was I to do, continue to sleep in the sofa, living a totally sexless existence while continuing to pay all of his bills? Pretend to be happy and grateful that he'd lower himself enough to stay married to me? I cannot compete with an ever changing visual feast of perfect 20 yr olds and I'm no longer interested in trying, nor am I interested in acting happy to cook, caretake for and fiscally support a man just to free up his time to hunt down more porn to whack off to. Why does it always come down to looks with women? I swear if they spent half the time working on their personalities as they did their looks they would be much more tolerable. What I meant is that when a marriage or a relationship is constant drama and arguments and the tiniest things become a war it is very comforting for a man to retreat into a fantasy world of porn. He is then in a place where he is not nagged, put down or told all his faults on a daily basis by a resentful wife. He can simply close his eyes and imagine he has the kind of relationship he finds almost impossible to find with modern women.
A O Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 What I meant is that when a marriage or a relationship is constant drama and arguments and the tiniest things become a war it is very comforting for a man to retreat into a fantasy world of porn. Not seen that one before - best to walk away than tug away in a situation like this. Perhaps this is where the term 'tosser' came from in the first place! Who knows. .
Jersey Shortie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Hmmm, no one had anything to say on my brilliant post. I done good. I think if it was even 5 years ago, the answers in this thread would be 10 folds different. It's interesting to see how many of the modern day males have eaten up exactly what the media has sold to them and conformed their sexuality to exactly what movie producers have told them it should be. Some of you talk about sexual diversity and variety! You aren't doing anything new and diverse just because you can pop in a porn video. You are doing exactly what the market wants you to do so you spend mroe time looking at more porn. And truth is, something none of you can admit to or dance around is that men today spend more time, more then ever, looking at porn. That says something right there. An issue that some of you want to admit to. Woogle Very true. Lookin at porn means a man has a healthy sexual appetite and can screw a woman's brains out and dominate her in the bedroom which most women do want. Men who hate porn are the same types who usually hate sex and don't know what to do in the bedroom. Men just like to look at naked chicks sometimes and that is that. I can understand the concerns over child porn, violent porn and things of that nature but your average everday stuff that men like to look at is 100% healthy. Lets not confuse sex with porn. If you think porn is healthy, your a little messed up already. Sex is healthy. Masturbation is healthy. Porn, even if it displays sex, is not healthy. We all know this. Lets not kid ourselves and lets not confuse the health benefits of real sex and masturbation to the medium of porn, the messages it sends and how it depicts men and women. Name one thing in porn that is really for the betterment and health of people in society? Do not name the action of what *you* do personally while watching porn. Name one thing in porn that is truly healthy. If a woman feels like her man is choosing porn over her then maybe she should take a look in the mirror and ask why an actual man prefers whacking off than being intimate with her. Because that's what modern men have made themselves dependent on due to their own weaknesses. meerkat Which is more troublesome, a man looking at porn to masturbate, or a man fantasizing about a real experience with his immediate ex while masturbating? Answer: Most people would find the latter more disturbing, mooting the entire porn question raised in this thread, other than as pertains to addictive behavior. Actually, I would rather he masturbate to a real life experiences with a real woman that he most likely didn't abuse and enjoyed the experience as much as he did then 18 year olds in porn being called four letter words while the men on screen pretend they are the best thing since sliced bread. I rather a man live in reality then in fantasy. Too many men today life in fantasy. And I think it's something too many men understand and don't like but are too weak to overcome it or admit to it so they try to make themselves feel better when they find out Joe down the street does it too so it must be okay that he does it! "It's healthy" to sit infront of your computer now and pull on your willy while you watch ridiculous situations with over the top women. That's what alot of men are defining "healthy" as today apparently. Men and women both fantasize about their past experiences, it would be unreasonable for either party to try to restrict natural internal fantasizing in their partner. Because this is so, becoming upset over porn, a -less- personal fantasy than a real memory which, in fact, acts as a substitute for a real memory, is irrational. Sure, some fantasy is fine. It's going to happen. We aren't talking about an occasional fantasy. We are talking about a sistuation today where men spend a ridiculous amount of time in fantasy world and want their parteners to become more like them in response to it or like what they see in the movies. Not even I said that there is no room for fantasy ever. My issue is not that it happens sometimes. My issue is with how often it happens with men today and how little men actually do to control themselves and how much men medicate themselves to get by. Woogle: Why does it always come down to looks with women? I swear if they spent half the time working on their personalities as they did their looks they would be much more tolerable. If men really cared more about women's personalities then their looks women would spend more time working on their wonderful personalites. But men don't. Men care about looks first. They stare at 20 year olds in porn and wonder why their wife/gfs are concerned. Seriously? Get a clue. Of course she is concerned! Of course women care about their looks! It's the number thing men care about and want from women. Women spend time on what she knows will attract a man to her. Men do not care about things like having a good heart and being sweet as much as they care about twins in porn. At least most men today that is. What I meant is that when a marriage or a relationship is constant drama and arguments and the tiniest things become a war it is very comforting for a man to retreat into a fantasy world of porn. He is then in a place where he is not nagged, put down or told all his faults on a daily basis by a resentful wife. He can simply close his eyes and imagine he has the kind of relationship he finds almost impossible to find with modern women. Who wants a man that is so weak that he needs to escape? No offense but while what you say may be true, the simple thing it boils down to is male weakness. no woman wants to be with a man that when life gets too rough crawls into a hole with his thumb in his mouth and his porn. [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
silverfish Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Women spend time on what she knows will attract a man to her. Men do not care about things like having a good heart and being sweet as much as they care about twins in porn. At least most men today that is. I'm going to say on behalf of my two sons, most of the men in my family, the men I work with, and both my exes, that this is absolute codswallop
Jersey Shortie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Silverfish, I am glad it's not true for you or your sons. But it's true for alot of men. If men cared so much about women with good hearts and were kind and sweet, that's what the porn movies would be filled with. But they aren't. They are filled with the type of things men want most and respond the strongest to.
Bejita463 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Time for another generalization about generalizations, because thinking is outdated and useless anyway.
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